The Teachers, Chapter 2

After my Julio Mendez experience in the faculty lunch room I began to bring a complete lunch to school in a proverbial lunch pail so I could take my lunch break in my classroom. And as time went by more and more of my students began to join me. We talked about current events, about happenings at home, about bullies on the playground, and even at that young age we talked about what my students wanted to make of their lives. So as time went by I became better and better at connecting with my students while my relationship with my fellow teachers went by the wayside.

The main thing I came to realize, was that it was my students who were important to me, and not my fellow teachers, to the point that I soon realized that I was truly a good teacher, and that all of my students were not only doing well, but that they were also enjoying the process of learning. We even managed to identify a couple of bullies in my classroom, and we dealt with their actions in such a way that we were able to change their behaviors without them even knowing it.

Then, a good three months after school had started, and not long after the last bell rang and most of my students had left Room 8 to line up in front of the school to board their school busses, I had Billy Perkins and Danny Loyalton hang back so they could help me set up for the following day’s computer lab. Both boys lived close to the school and so didn’t ride a bus, and so they help me set up for the lab. I could tell that both boys were feeling quite important as they helped me, but moments later Race Farrell entered the room. I greeted him and expected him to announce why he had stopped by, but instead he said nothing and went to the front of the class and sat at my desk. I remember thinking, that if he wanted to ignore me, then I would ignore him until we had all of the computers in place, and Billy, Danny, and I had made the final connections to our one printer. Only then did I approach Race. He continued to sit at my desk with his eyes cast to a third grade math book that I was sure he wasn’t paying any real attention to. So I asked, “So what’s up?”

And all he said was, “I’ll wait.”

I had no idea as to what had brought Race to my classroom, but I was intrigued enough to hurry Billy and Danny out of the room. And once I had closed the door behind them I returned to the front of the class where I announced, “Okay, you have my full attention, so, what’s up?”

Race looked up at me, and asked, “Haven’t I always been nice to you?”

I looked to his blue eyes and realized that I was looking into the face of a depressed man, as I said, “Yes, I suppose you have. But why are you here?”

Race looked back to the third grade math book before saying, “I’m here because I feel like I have always been nice to you, and you have done nothing but ignore me. In fact, I feel like you’ve been actively avoiding me like the plague, and I’m just wondering why?”

I was so taken aback by Race’s unexpected words that all I could think to say was, “Well, that wasn’t my intention.”

Race then looked up, and said, “But that’s what you’ve been doing.”

I thought for a second, and then said, “I really don’t think I’ve been ignoring or avoiding you. It’s just that I’ve come to the conclusion that outside of teaching we have little in common, and so I didn’t see a good reason for us to go to the trouble of getting to know each other.”

Race stood, and when we were eye to eye he said, “We are fellow teachers, isn’t that enough? I watch how you are with your students and I see that you are definitely one of the best, if not the very best teacher in this school. I’ve wanted to tell you that, but you’ve never given me a chance. And I feel like you don’t give a damn if I’m a good teacher or not.”

I thought for a second before saying, “I’m sorry. I guess I should have been paying more attention. I’ll try to do better in the future.”

Race just stood silently for several seconds before he finally said, “What I just told you was bullshit. It’s all true, but it’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I’ve liked you from the moment I first saw you, and so I’ve wanted to be your friend, your real true and honest friend.” And then he stopped talking. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds, and then walked from my classroom without another word.

Race left me with a blur of thoughts flowing through my head, so I didn’t know what to think as I finished up at my desk. But he had peaked my curiosity enough that I stopped to look through the small window in his classroom’s door as I was leaving the building. The room’s lights had been turned off and Race was nowhere in sight. Then I checked the faculty parking lot as I was getting into my car and saw that his mustang convertible was nowhere in sight. So I left the campus that day for the first time in a long time with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and curious feelings about Race Farrell.

I drove immediately home, all the while wondering what had really brought Race to my classroom, thoughts and wonderings that left me with a continued feeling of emptiness all through that night. The next morning I saw Race in the school’s office as he was picking up his mail. I waved and said “Hi.” He seemed friendly enough but he all but ran from the office.

The rest of that school day went as expected. Third graders are always happy to work on computers so I felt the day was a complete success until after the last bell sounded and Race was back in my classroom. I think I’ve already explained that Race was a beautiful man. He was not only handsome but fetchingly attractive with a fine athletic body. It was easy to see why both faculty and students were attracted to him. Yet there he was in my classroom looking dejected while once again sitting at my desk. After ushering my last few students out of the room and closing the door, I came to the front of the room, and asked, “So what have I done now to upset you?”

Race looked up and said, “I think I blew it yesterday. I came here to ask if you wanted to be my friend, and after leaving you yesterday I realized that I don’t think I got anywhere near asking that question.” And before I could respond to that statement, he went on to say, “And I don’t mean just here at school, but regular friends who go places and do things together. I know I chickened out yesterday before I made myself clear, so I promised myself that I wouldn’t leave today until I actually told you that I really like you, and that I really want us to be real friends.”

Then Race started to rise, but because I feared he might flee again I put my hand to his shoulder to keep him seated. At first I just looked at him, but I finally managed to say, “I think I’d like that, but exactly what kind of friends do you want us to be? As I see it, we don’t have much in common. I know you hang glide, scuba dive, and pilot your own plane, while I don’t do any of those things.”

Race then looked up and caught me totally off guard by saying, “Fuck all of that stuff. Real friendship is worth so much more than all of that stuff put together.”

I was dumbfounded to the point of being without words, and that didn’t get any better when Race looked in my eyes, and asked, “Are you gay?”

“What?” I asked in astonishment. “What makes you ask a question like that?” And he quickly said, “I don’t know, but I kind of need to know. I just told you that I really liked you, so I was hoping that you might say yes to that question.”

Once again I felt as if Race was about to take flight, so I quickly answered, “Well I don’t really know, and I try not to think about it too much.”

Then, while Race’s eyes were still focused on mine, he said, “Look, Andy, I’m out on a limb here so I really need to know because you are all I think about. And by that, I mean night and day. I don’t want to scare you, but I’d really like to kiss you right now. And I know that I could love you better than anyone else on this planet if you would just give me a chance.”

Silence came over the room. Race was looking at me through moistened eyes as I said, “I like you too, but I’m not sure about being gay.”

Race’s eyes widened as he then said, “Then you aren’t sure if you’re straight either? If I promise not to grab and kiss you, would you at least think about going out to dinner with me tonight?”

I smiled, and said, “Sure, but you have to promise.”

Race stood and walked toward Room 8’s door. And when he arrived he turned and said, “The only reason I’m leaving is that I know I’d want to kiss you if I stayed. But I promise to be a good boy if you’ll let me pick you up at your apartment at 6:00 tonight.”

I agreed to the date, and when I left school that day my mind was swimming in thoughts that I had never experienced before. Because of my masturbatory fantasies I was pretty sure I was gay, but I had never thought about someone feeling about me the way Race claimed to feel. I was also having a hard time believing that Race was gay as I had always considered him to be as straight as a man could be.

…

Race picked me up in his new Ford Mustang convertible and took me to a Chinese restruant where we were ushered through the main dining room into a dark secluded area where curtains were drawn back so we could enter a small room that was walled off by shoji screens. There was a table in the middle of that room that was only about a foot off of the floor, so it seemed only natural when we were then seated on floor pillows rather than chairs. As I couldn’t afford to eat at such a fine restaurant, my first question was, “How do you afford to live the way you do?”

Race looked at me and answered quite matter-of-factly, “My birth father died two years ago and left me a small fortune.”

My immediate response was to say how sorry I was that he had lost his father, but he quickly dismissed my words by telling me that he hardly knew the man.

I didn’t know what to think about that, so I decided to let the subject drop. Race’s next words were to ask, “Do you know that you are really cute?”

I blushed with embarrassment, and said in a shy voice, “No, I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t think so.” He said, “You act like you don’t give a shit, but you need to know that you are really hot. I mean so hot that I think about loving you and being loved by you all the time.”

Instead of responding to that comment, I asked, “So when did you decide that you were gay?” And without hesitation he said, “When I was fifteen and in the hospital to have a special x-ray taken of my tummy.”

“Wow,” I said, “You certainly had that on the tip of your tongue.”

“Yea, well it was a very decisive time for me, and it was the kind of experience you don’t forget. I had been questioning my sexuality since I was eleven or twelve, but at fifteen I had a very nice male nurse prepare me for a special x-ray by giving me several enemas. You probably won’t believe this, but he made that whole procedure such a wonderful experience that I suddenly knew for sure that I was gay. What about you? Do you ever question your sexuality?”

Instead of answering that question, I asked, “Did you fall in love with that nurse?”

“No, but I suddenly knew how much I liked having someone stick things up my butt, and I knew what I wanted that something to be.”

“And what was that?” I asked while thinking I already knew what Race’s special something was.

Race just looked at me for a second before totally surprising me by saying, “Your dick.”

“Boy, you don’t fool around, do you?”

“No, I don’t. I’ve known what I wanted since our orientation day, and what I want is you. I see how much you love your students, and more importantly I see how much they love you. All I can say, is that I promise not to be jealous of them, but I need for you to love me in the same way you love your students. I mean it, Andy, and it has to be you. Nobody else will do.”

Race and I had the most remarkable meal that night, not to mention, conversation. So when he dropped me off at my apartment, even though I had made no commitment to him in regards to my feelings for him, I knew that I was in love with the Race Farrell I was just meeting, and so immediately after he left I felt bad because I hadn’t summoned the courage to tell him how I felt about him.

That was a Thursday night, and so we both had Friday classes to prepare for. But immediately after I let my class out that following Friday, Race once again entered my classroom. And with a broad smile, he ask if he could take me up in his plane that following Saturday morning. Instead of answering, I said, “You know, becoming a teacher was kind of a 50/50 proposition for me. I also gave serious thought to becoming a registered nurse.”

Race’s eyes focused on mine as he asked, “Because you like helping people?”

“Yea, for the most part, I guess.” I said, knowing I was telling only a half truth. Race just stood there as if he knew there was more to come, so I quickly added, “Well that, and because I knew that being a nurse would allow me to be intimate with cute boys and their bottoms.”

Race just looked at me with his piercing blue eyes as he said, “Okay, that’s it. Now I won’t take no for an answer. I want to take off early so I’ll pick you up around 6:30 tomorrow morning.”