After my birthday, we had a quiet week. I spent as much time as I could with Buddy. He was fitting in well with the other horses. My vet came to check him out - even though he’d been checked by another vet, I wanted Steve to look at him, since I knew and trusted him. He confirmed what the other vet had said - that Buddy had to be retired from working, but he would be fine as a pasture ornament.

I told Doc that since I’d agreed to surgery, he had to learn to ride. “I didn’t agree to that, hon”, he said. “You agreed to the operation all on your own.”

“I thought that if I agreed to it, you’d learn to ride, since you know how much that means to me. And I did back down on insisting you learn to ride and go on a trail ride before I‘d consent to the procedure.”

“Hon, you know how scared you are of the surgery?” I nodded. “That’s how scared I am of getting on a horse.”

“Doc, you never told me that you are scared.”

“I didn’t want you to think I’m a wimp.”

“Oh, Doc - you aren’t a wimp. You just haven’t been around horses or even farms until that first time you came here last summer. Am I a wimp for being scared of the surgery?”

“Of course not, hon.”

“That goes both ways, Doc. Will you at least start spending a bit more time in the barn with me and helping out with things like feeding and maybe even brushing them down? That will give you a chance to be more comfortable around them.”

“I can do that.”

“Thank you , honey.” I hoped that if he spent more time around the horses, and handling them, he would get used to them and be more at ease handling them. Perhaps some day, he would comfortable enough to get on one.

Friday evening, we went out for dinner at Chez Rick, Doc’s favourite fine dining restaurant. I went with him into the city in the morning so he wouldn’t have to drive out to the farm and back after work. He let me have his car for the day, which was a first. He did not like other people driving his BMW. I felt out of place driving it, like I was presenting myself to be something I was not. But I wanted to do some shopping and it was more practical to just use one car.

I went to a nice clothing store and selected a dress suitable for where we were going. Of course, that meant I had to buy new shoes as well and a small purse. I was not used to buying so many clothes and accessories, but I didn’t want to wear the same thing every time we went out.

When I was done shopping, I went to Doc’s apartment and had a nap. Then I had a shower and it was time to go pick him up. We got ready at his apartment. “Wow, Ms Hottie”, he said when he saw me in my new dress. “You look fantastic!”

“Doc, you look pretty good yourself.”

We took a cab to the restaurant so that we could have a couple drinks and not worry about driving. We were staying at the apartment for the night. After dinner, we went to see a play at the theatre. Doc had been wanting to go and even though it’s not my thing, I went with him. Since he does things I want to do, it’s only fair to go with him to things that interest him. After the play, we went to a quiet bar for a drink before going back to the apartment.

“Thank you for going out with me tonight, hon”, Doc said when we were sitting in the living room with a nightcap.

“I’m happy to go anywhere with you, Doc.”

Sunday was Julie Anne’s christening. It was a nice service. Doc was just beaming. You’d have thought he was her father! Afterwards, we went to Walt and Martha’s for lunch. Doc wouldn’t put little Julie Anne down, he loved holding her. He really wanted to have her for a weekend, but Charlotte was breastfeeding and Julie Anne refused bottles, so she couldn’t pump and send milk with her. Doc had to settle for visiting at their place or them coming here for a couple hours, but he said once she was older, he wanted to have her for a weekend now and then. I told him he would be the one changing her diapers!

Monday, I had to go to the city for a couple pre-op tests Doc wanted me to have - an EKG and an echocardiogram. He wanted to be sure my heart murmur was “innocent”. I had the tests in the morning and went home after they were done. Doc came home late afternoon and said he needed to talk to me. We sat down in the living room, and he said “Meredith, I got the results of your tests.”

“Already, Doc?”

“Yes. You have what is called ‘Mitral Valve Prolapse’.

“I’ve heard of it. Why was it not found when I had tests years ago?”

“I don’t know, hon. We don’t have the records from back then.”

“I had surgery when I got thrown from Pete and they didn’t catch it.”

“Yes, and I’m not impressed about that. The anesthesiologist should have heard the murmur. Do you remember where he listened to your heart?”

“In the holding area.”

“No, I mean where on your body did he listen?”

I pointed to two spots above my breasts.

“What about under your left breast?”

“I don’t think so.”

“That’s why he didn’t catch it, the mitral valve is down there.”

“So, what now?”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t have surgery, but I want you to see a cardiologist. I’ve put in a referral to Dr Oliver Hampton and asked if he could see you before the 13th. He owes me a favour, so I’m hoping he can. In the meantime, do not worry. Often, MVP is not a big deal. Like I said, you can still have surgery, but they may do some preventative measures with you.”

“Such as …”

“Medication. Don’t worry, hon - relax.”

“Easy for you to say, Doc.”

“I know, Meredith. It will be okay, though.”

Dr Hampton must have owed Doc a HUGE favour, because his office called me the next day and asked if I could go in first thing Wednesday morning. He insisted on me going into the city with him in the morning and then going to the apartment until he got off work.

The appointment went a lot better than I thought it would. Dr Hampton did a thorough heart and lung auscultation, then told me he was clearing me for surgery. “You have no symptoms and your MVP appears to be mild. They will give you extra meds beforehand, you will be fine. I’ll keep an eye on it, I want to see you every six months.”

The next day, Thursday, we woke up to snow coming down like the dickens. There was already quite an accumulation and Karen had to ride her horse over to do chores here. She usually walks or drives over, but she said the snow was too deep. Our road is not a priority for the plows, they do the main roads/highways first. It is often days before it gets cleared. Days after the snow stops falling, that is.

Doc and I have a plan that when a big storm is predicted, we stay at the apartment in the city so that he doesn’t have to worry about getting to the clinic. However, this one was not predicted. It was a complete surprise. There was no way he was going to be able to go to work. He was not happy about that.

“Come on, Meredith - you can plow us out with your truck.” I put a plow on my truck in the winter to do the laneway. “Doc, I can only plow the laneway, I used to sometimes do the road from here to the highway so I could get out, but the municipality threatened to charge me because I’m not a township employee. I had to stop doing it.”

“I’m very tempted to have us move to the apartment until spring, hon.”

“Doc, this is a rare surprise storm, 99% of the time they are predicted and we can stay in the city at those times.” He was not happy about it, but he did phone in to the clinic and had his patients for the next few days rescheduled. I told him many would have cancelled anyway.

Thursday night, the power went out and Doc got to see for himself how helpful that wood cook stove is. I hung curtain material over the bottom of the staircase to keep the heat downstairs and started fires in the living room and tv room as well. We slept in the downstairs bedroom. I cooked on the wood stove and used oil lamps for light. Good thing neither of us is much of a tv person – though I do have my few “must see” shows - so it didn’t bother us not having that to watch.

Saturday afternoon, I wanted to get Doc to come outside for some fresh air. He was not impressed with the suggestion. “Come on, Doc - put the snowshoes on, you enjoyed it at the cabin.”

“That was different. I’m staying inside until I can get out to get to work. It‘s COLD out there!”

“Just think of what we can do to warm up when we get back inside.”

“We can do that without going outside.”

There was one thing that so far had not failed to get him moving. I put on my special jeans and put a plug in my butt. Then put on a sweater and my jacket over that. Doc was in the TV room reading. I went in and showed him my bare ass. “Since you don’t want to go, I guess I’ll just go alone.”

“You are not going outside like that in this weather!”

“I am.”

“I’ll spank you if you do.”

“You have to catch me first, Doc.” I headed for the back door, stopping on the porch to put my boots on. I opened the door just as Doc was heading down the hall. “Stop right there!” he yelled as he opened the door to the porch. “Meredith! When I catch you….”

“Promises, promises, Doc” I said as I headed down the steps to the yard. I ran through the snow and climbed the chain link fence since I knew the gate wouldn’t open due to the amount of freshly fallen snow on the ground. I dropped down on the other side and headed for the far back of my property, where my garden was. I had forgotten about the fence when I decided to do this. I had no idea how well Doc could climb, but he hates running, I doubted he would like scaling a fence too well.

I looked back and he was trying to get over the fence. It seemed like he wasn’t going to make it, so I started to go back toward the house, intending to tell him to go back through the house and out the front door. But he surprised me and got over it. He started after me, so I turned around and hoofed it. Under normal conditions, Doc can outrun me, but he was not used to running - or even walking - through snow, so I had an advantage.

I ran down to the garden, around it and over to the pasture. I climbed the fence and dropped down inside, then ran up toward the barn. The horses were out so I didn’t know if Doc would try to climb the pasture fence. He didn’t. Instead he ran up around the other side of the barn. I needed a rest, so I stopped and caught my breath, then ran back the way I’d come. I wondered how long it would take him to figure it out. I scaled the fence again and ran back around the garden and headed for the house.

Doc saw me and came after me. I was out of breath again and he’d had a longer rest, so it didn’t take long for him to catch me. He grabbed me and we both fell to the ground, me on the bottom. He turned me over and lifted my sweater and jacket, took off his glove and spanked me right there and then. “That was only the beginning”, he said when he’d finished. “You’ll get another one when we get inside.”

We got up and he kissed me before we headed back to the house. “I suggest we go around to the front”, Doc said.

“Go ahead, Doc. I’m going in the back”, and I started climbing the fence.

He grabbed me and pulled me down. “You are going to aggravate your cyst, hon. Walk around to the front.” I didn’t tell him that my cyst was already aggravated. When we got back in the house, I headed toward the back bedroom. “Where are you going?” Doc asked.

“To the spanking room. I expect you to follow through on your promise.”

Doc laughed. “It’s not much of a punishment if you want it.”

“So, it was an empty threat, eh?”

That got him. He went to the bedroom and sat on the bed. “You know what to do, hon.” I lay over his lap and he pushed my sweater up, exposing my bare, plugged ass. He caressed it for a moment, then brought his hand down hard over and over again. It was the hardest he’d ever spanked me to date.

When it was over, I stood up and leaned down and kissed him, then pushed him down on the bed and straddled him.

Some time later, we made our way out to the kitchen. I looked at the clock, it was time to go to the barn to do the supper feeding. I wanted to go out a bit early to shovel around the gate now that the snow had finally stopped. I was a little concerned about how shovelling would affect my cyst, which was quite sore by now. But I had no choice as I did not want to have to scale the fence all the time to get to the barn.

“Doc, I’m going out to shovel snow and feed the horses. I’ll put more wood on the fire in the cook stove before I go.”

“Hon, I would rather you not shovel snow.”

“Why not, Doc?”

“You are in pain. I don’t want you aggravating your cyst any more than you have today.” I just looked at him. “Didn’t think I noticed, did you, hon?”

“I should have known better.”

“Yes, you should have. I always know. Please go out the front door and have Karen shovel tomorrow.”

“Karen won’t be here tomorrow. Nasser comes on Sundays, remember?”

“Ok, get him to do it. I will pay him a bit extra for it.”

“I can pay him, Doc.”

“I know you can. Please let me do it, hon. You pay all the upkeep here and I’m living here now. I’d like to contribute more than just buying groceries.”

“Doc, you pay rent on your apartment.”

“OUR apartment, hon. It’s just as much yours as mine now. And the rent isn’t that much.”

“Ok, Doc. You can pay Nasser a bonus for shovelling if you like. Why don‘t you come out to the barn with me and keep me company while I do chores? Actually, I could use some help with feeding.”

“Sure, hon. You don’t expect me to go in their stalls, do you?”

“No, Doc”, I said as we got our boots and jackets on. “Chey put hay in their hay racks this morning after she cleaned the stalls. We just need to bring them in - well, I will bring them in - and give them their grain.”

“Ok, I can help with that.”

When we got back from the barn, Doc had a shower. Fortunately, the hot water tank is gas powered, not electric. I took a couple pain pills and lay down in the bedroom downstairs. Doc came in after his shower. “I’ll get supper in a minute, hon.”

“Just get something for yourself, Doc. I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat, Meredith.”

“Don’t push me, Doc. I’m not hungry.”

He sat down on the bed. “What’s wrong? Is it the pain?” I nodded yes. “Did you take your pills?” I nodded again. “Number?”

“9”

“You do know that all that running earlier didn’t help, right?” I nodded. He sat down on the bed.

“Doc, I need off of here.”

“Why?”

“Gotta go to the bathroom.” He got up and I jumped up and hoofed it across the hall. I shut the door and turned on the tap.

When I was done, I went back to the bedroom. Doc was sitting on the bed with his bag on the floor. He got up and told me to lie down. “I’m going to give you a shot of Gravol. I know you were throwing up, even though you tried to hide it.” I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. “I can’t give you pain medication since you took your pills, but if it’s still bad at bedtime, I’ll give you a shot then.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

“I’m glad you agreed to the surgery, hon. I just wish I could have got you in sooner. You need to have something, I‘ll heat up some broth for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You stay in here and I’ll bring it in to you.”

After I had some broth, Doc helped me get undressed and into bed. I had zero energy and would have happily slept in my clothes. Of course, that would have mortified Doc, so I let him help me into a nightgown. “I’ll be back after I clean up the kitchen, hon.”

“Don’t worry about the kitchen, Doc. We can do it tomorrow.”

“I’m not leaving it a mess overnight. It won’t take me long.”

Fifteen minutes later, he was back. “Need anything before I get in bed?” he asked.

“Just you”, I replied. He undressed and put his pj’s on, then got into bed with me. I lay my head on his chest.

“Not much else to do but talk”, he said. “It’s a little early to be going to sleep, unless you want to.”

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep with this pain.”

“Hon, you absolutely have to have that cyst out. No backing out of the surgery, ok?”

“I don’t intend to, Doc. I want this thing out of me. Can you save the ovary?”

“I won’t know until I get in there, Meredith. But if I can’t, you are perfectly fine with just one. It will produce all the hormones you need.”

“What about pregnancy?”

“That wouldn’t be a problem, but I thought we weren’t going to have children?”

“We aren’t, I just don’t want the choice taken away from me.”

Doc gave me a kiss. “If we change our minds, hon, you will be able to conceive. All you need is one ovary for that. Now, to change the subject - what do you think about getting solar panels?”

“Actually, I was planning to do that last year.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Too much other stuff going on, I forgot about it with all that was happening.”

“What do you think about maybe doing it this year?”

“I think it’s a good idea. It would really help at times like this when the power is out.”

“I agree, hon. Let’s look into it.”

We talked for a while longer, then Doc gave me a pain shot and blew the oil lamp out. As he snuggled up behind me, I could hear the wind howling outside. Thank God for wood stoves and body heat, I thought as we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, my pain had subsided considerably but was still bothering me. I was under orders to not do a thing all day. Our road finally got plowed in the afternoon, so Doc was able to go to work on Monday. He said he wanted me to go with him and stay in the apartment, so that if my pain got worse I would be closer to the hospital. Also, he said we’d have electricity. I didn’t really want to go, but I didn’t want him to worry about me being so far from the city, so I let him take me in. I took my laptop so I’d have something to do to amuse myself with all day.

When he got in from work, Doc said he wanted to stay overnight instead of going back to the farm. He said he had a feeling about the weather. I called Karen to see if she or Chey could look after Jessie and the horses and she said yes.

Doc’s feeling was spot on, we woke up to more snow coming down the next morning. It looked like we might be staying in the city for a few days. Doc suggested I see if Karen could bring Jessie in to me so I wouldn’t miss her. I said no, she wouldn’t be happy in the city where she’d be confined to the apartment except for going out on leash to do her business. She was better off staying on the farm and Chey would go and stay at the house until we could go back home.

Julian got home early that afternoon. A lot of patients had cancelled, so Ms Jamieson was able to move the ones that didn’t up to earlier time slots so that they all could get out early and get home. The snow was still coming down.

Wednesday, Doc called me from the clinic. “Hon, a lady that was going to have a tubal ligation next week cancelled - she said she and her husband decided to not do anything permanent just yet. So I have an opening for surgery - I’d like to put you in her slot, so I can get that cyst out of you sooner.” It took me by surprise and I didn’t know what to say, but I couldn’t very well refuse and worry him even more, so I said yes. “Good, hon, get it over and done with. We’ll try and get you into the pre-op clinic on Friday. Good thing we’re staying here in the city, it will make it easier.”

After I hung up, I started to have second thoughts. This was happening so fast and I don’t always deal well with sudden changes of plans. I was starting to feel panicky. Doc called a bit later to see if I wanted him to pick anything up on his way home. I think he sensed something wasn’t quite right. “Hon, are you okay?”

“Yes, Doc. Just a little freaked out.”

“I’ll get you through it, hon. You’ll be glad when it’s over.”

He got home to the apartment a short time later. I had supper almost ready. “Meredith, you didn’t have to cook, you should be resting.”

“Doc, I have nothing to do all day. I can only surf the ‘net so much. Cooking isn’t hard. You work all day, you should be able to come home to your supper being ready.” Heck, there wasn’t even any cleaning to do because Doc kept the apartment spotless.

He gave me a big hug. “Ok, hon, but I will do the dishes and clean up. You are to be off your feet the rest of the night. Capiche?”

“Yes, Doc.”

I had a hard time going to sleep that night. Usually, I sleep quite well with Doc snuggled up behind me with his arm around me, but that night I tossed and turned. Finally, Doc got up and left the bedroom. He returned with his medical bag. “Turn over on your left side, hon. I have something that will help you sleep.” I turned over and he lifted my nightshirt. Then he lubed my anus with a gloved finger before inserting a suppository. “This is a sedative, it will help you relax so you can sleep.”

“You have everything in your bag, Doc.”

“I brought a few home with me tonight - I thought you might have a restless night when you said you were feeling some anxiety, but I wanted to see if you could sleep on your own. I think I will give you one every night between now and the surgery.” He wiped the lube off me and took off his glove before getting back into bed and snuggling up to me. “It’s going to be okay, hon. I promise.” It didn’t take long for the medicine in the suppository to work and I was soon sound asleep.

We stayed in the city all week, since I had to be there for the pre-op clinic on Friday. Karen let us know that the power was restored mid-week. That was a long outage. She had run the generator for us for a few hours every day to keep the freezer cold and I had taken everything out of the kitchen fridge and put it in the porch fridge before we left. The porch isn’t insulated so it's always cold in the winter.

We planned to go back to the farm after Doc got off work on Friday and then come back Monday morning. My surgery was scheduled for Wednesday - the day before Valentine’s Day. Good. Doc will be more focused on my recovery than on the day. I hate Valentine’s Day.

He wanted to go back on Monday to make sure that we wouldn’t get snowed in and not be able to get there for the procedure. I would have preferred to stay at the farm until Wednesday, as I missed it a lot the week before when I wasn’t there, but I understood his reasoning.

“Meredith, we need to think about making a better plan for winters. I can’t be cancelling patients every time there’s a surprise storm and I get snowed in.”

“Many people cancel anyway when there’s a storm, Doc. And many places close for the day or a couple days.”

“Yes, hon, but our road doesn’t get plowed out for a few days. It’s not just the time that it’s actively snowing that I can‘t get in.”

“I see your point, Doc. You could always take the snowiest months off, hire another doctor.”

“A month would be okay, I’d love to have that time off to be with you, but three months would not be fair to my patients, Meredith.”

“We’ll figure something out, Doc.”

“Hon, would you stay with me here in the city for the winter? We could go out to the farm on the weekends.”

“But what if we got snowed in on the weekend, Doc?”

“You’re right, I hadn’t thought of that. I know it’s too much to ask you to stay here for three months straight.”

“Doc, like I said, we’ll figure something out, but remember - surprise storms this severe don’t happen very often.” He was right that I did not want to spend the whole winter at the apartment, but I didn’t want to spend it apart from him either. I would have to do some thinking and see what I could come up with.

“In the meantime, I’d like you to stay here for a couple weeks after your surgery. That way we are close to the hospital if you have complications. I don’t think you want a half hour drive a few days after being cut open, it will be pretty uncomfortable, hon.”

“Doc, you’re not helping my anxiety level any.”

“Sorry, sweetie. Just trying to be honest.” He gave me a big hug.

“Doc, I love you”, I said. “We will definitely figure something out about winters. I’m not going to spend the whole season away from you.”

“Thank you, hon. I sure don’t want to spend it away from you.”

The pre-op clinic on Friday went well. Dr Hampton had given clearance for me to have anesthesia. I just had to talk to the anesthesiologist and get weighed and my height measured.

Doc and I went back to the farm Friday night. First thing I did was go to the barn and see my horses. Chey was in there doing the supper feeding. “Thank you so much for helping out”, I told her. “You don’t know what it means to me.”

“I’m happy to do it, Meredith. I love looking after the horses. It’s not work to me.”

“Regardless, I’m giving you a bonus when I get to the bank.”

After I’d seen the horses, we went to the house. Jessie was out of her mind happy to see us and we were happy to see her. I think even Doc missed her. I saw him sneak an extra treat for her when he thought I wasn’t looking.

Surgery day came all too soon. Doc had insisted we go to the apartment on Tuesday and stay the night there. My procedure was scheduled for 3pm and they wanted me there by 1. “I can’t come get you, you’ll have to take a cab. Remember, nothing to eat and only clear fluids but nothing after 11 am.” , he said before he left in the morning.

“Yes, Doc.”

“I won’t see you until you come into the OR, but you will be fine.”

My anxiety level was pretty high. Doc had been giving me a suppository sedative every night since last week, which helped me get to sleep, but I was pretty tense during the days. Wednesday morning was bad, I couldn’t concentrate on anything, whether it be book, tv or internet. Around 11:30 am, I had a shower and got dressed. Shortly after, I called for a cab.

I arrived at the hospital just before 1pm and went to the surgery prep unit. They had me undress and get into a gown. A nursed took my vitals and started an IV. At 2pm, the anesthesiologist came in and said he was giving me some meds in my IV for the MVP. He said Doc knew I was there and had sent a message that he was proud of me for following through.

At around 2:45pm, Doc came up to my bed. “Doc, I thought you wouldn’t see me until I got to the OR”, I said in surprise.

“Meredith, there’s been an emergency and your procedure has been cancelled for today. They need the OR.”

“What???” I asked. “I went through all this and all the anxiety and it’s cancelled???”

“I’m sorry, hon. It’s out of my hands.”

“I know, Doc. But I’m pissed right off.”

“You have every right to be, hon. I’ll get it rescheduled, unfortunately it probably won’t be for a few more weeks.”

“Don’t bother, Doc. Screw it, I’m done.”

"What do you mean you're done?"

"I'm not having the surgery."