True to his word, Doc helped with the decorating after he got home from work each night. Karen helped some during the day after she finished barn chores. It sure got done faster that way. I am a “Christmas Geek”, as I’ve been dubbed, and decorate to the hilt. It usually takes me 2-3 weeks to do it. With Doc and Karen helping, it got done in a week.

My hand was healing. The ER doctor said to get the stitches out in 10 days to 2 weeks. Normally, it would be a week but he said it was such a bad cut, they should stay in longer. I was going nuts after a week. It was getting really itchy and I wanted to rip the bandaging off and scratch. Doc told me not to do that. I knew that it was only a matter of time before I did it anyway.

It happened on the 9th day. I did it while Doc was at work - took the bandages off and scratched and scratched and scratched. It still itched. I finally got a pair of manicure scissors and took the stitches out and scratched again. That helped a lot. The wound had healed over, I didn’t see a need to keep the stitches in any longer anyway. I wrapped it back up the best I could and hoped Doc would not notice. Ha. He noticed. Within minutes of getting home.

“You took your bandaging off”, he said after hanging up his coat.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I needed to scratch.”

“I told you to keep it on.” I didn’t say anything. “Why didn’t you?”

“It was itchy.” I headed for the kitchen to check on supper.

“I want to see it.”

“You don’t need to see it.”

“Yes, I do. I want to see if you did any damage.”

“Doc, it’s healed. Relax.”

“Let me look at it.” He grabbed my wrist and unwrapped the bandaging. “You took the stitches out!”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why?”

“It was the only way to get the itching to stop. And it’s only a day early.”

“1-6 days early. You really should have had them in for the full two weeks because of how bad the cut was.”

“You worry too much, Doc. It is fine.”

“Meredith, what am I going to do with you?”

“Kiss me, Doc.” Diversionary tactic. It almost worked.

“Let me get supper served”, Doc said after he kissed me. “You go sit down and think about why what you did was not a good idea.” He gave me a swat on my butt.

“I’ll get drinks. I suppose you want water masquerading as milk?”

When we had sat down, he brought my hand up again. “Seriously, Meredith, you shouldn’t have taken the stitches out. What if it wasn’t completely healed?”

“Then I wouldn’t have taken the stitches out, Doc. Now let’s enjoy supper.”

He let it drop. I was on high alert for the next couple days in case he decided to give me a surprise spanking. He surprised me, though, by not giving me one.

A few days later, Doc was on call. He tended to stay in his apartment on nights/weekends when he was on call, so the patient wouldn’t have to wait while he drove in from the farm. Sometimes I stayed with him. Being such a small city, often there would be no calls.

On this day, I had some shopping to do, so we planned on going out for dinner, then I was going to stay with him at his place. I was having a really bad day with my cyst pain, which had been so good for quite a while. While I was tempted to cancel and just stay home on the farm, I knew if I did, Doc would worry. I didn’t want him to be distracted by me while tending to emergency patients, so I decided to stick with the plans we had made and would try to hide the extent of my discomfort from him. Why I thought I could get away with it is beyond me. Doc has some sixth sense or something and can always tell when I’m in pain.

I got to his office at about 5:15pm. He was still in with his last patient of the day, so I took a seat in the waiting room. Everyone else had gone home. While I waited, I took out my phone and browsed my Facebook feed, something I didn’t get a chance to do very often these days. Soon, a woman came through the doorway to the exam rooms, walked through the waiting room and left via the main door. Doc came out a minute later.

“Hi, hon”, he greeted me with a kiss. “I’ll just be a few more minutes, then we can go get dinner.”

“Take your time, Doc.”

“You okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. You’re in pain, aren’t you?” See what I mean? He *always* knows!

“A little.”

“A lot.” I sat silently. “Is it your cyst?” I nodded. “What’s your number?” I didn’t answer. He sat down beside me. “Meredith, please answer.”

“5”

“Now, the truth, please.”

“Doc, I’m fine. Let’s go eat.”

“We aren’t going anywhere until you tell me the truth.”

“Ok, 7.”

“Truthfully? He looked directly into my eyes.”

“Close enough.”

“How long have you been in such pain?”

“It started after you left for work.”

“Come to the back with me, I want to take a look.”

“I’m okay, Doc.”

“A pain level of over 7 is not ‘okay’.”

“I said 7, not over 7.”

“I know, but when you say 7, it’s really at least 8.”

“Doc, let’s not ruin what should be a pleasant dinner out.”

“Why don’t you want me to look at you, Meredith?”

“Because I don’t want you feeling around and causing more pain.”

“Then let me take it out.”

“You know my answer to that.”

“You can either let me take a look or agree to the surgery. Those are your only two options.” I could tell by his tone of voice he was serious and that I’d better not push it any further. I got up with a sigh and headed for the hallway.

“Go into Room 2, hon.”

I went into the room and Doc told me to get up on the table. “Lie down, don’t worry about your clothes, I’m just going to do a quick external palpation.” When I was lying down, he pushed my blouse up, then undid the button on my pants. As usual, he started on my right side and moved over to the left. When he hit my ovary, it sent a huge bolt of pain through me, worse than ever before. I instinctively brought my knees up and grabbed his wrist to stop him from continuing.

“Bad, hon?” I nodded. “I’m almost done.” He took my hand off his wrist and continued to feel around. When he was done, he pulled my blouse back down. “Do you have your pills with you?”

“Yes.”

“Take two now.”

“I can’t, I have to drive.”

“You can leave your car here and go with me in mine.”

I got off the table and did my pants up. Slipping into my shoes, I said “It’s okay, Doc. I can wait.”

“You are taking them now even if I have to shove them down your throat.”

“You’d have to catch me first, Doc.”

“I wouldn’t have to run fast - with the amount of pain you’re in, you wouldn’t get far. Now, come to the break room and I’ll get you a glass of water.”

I picked up my purse and followed him down the hall. In the break room, Doc handed me a glass and that’s all I remember.

When I came to, I was lying down in a moving vehicle. I tried to look around to see where I was. A face appeared in my line of sight. “Meredith, you’re awake.”

“No shit, Sherlock”, I responded.

Ignoring my sarcasm, the woman said “You’re in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I’m Gina and I’m a paramedic.”

“Why am I being taken to the hospital?”

“You collapsed in Dr Richards’ office. He called us.”

“I’m going to kill him for that.”

“He did the right thing. He’s very worried about you.”

“He worries too much.”

“It’s my understanding you’re his girlfriend?” I nodded. “Everyone worries about their significant other. If it were him that collapsed, would you worry about him?”

“Of course, but that’s different.”

“We’re just turning into the hospital now.” A short time later, I was being transferred from the gurney to a bed in the ER. Doc was there, acting like a mother hen. I thought I heard him say something about surgery to a nurse.

“Doc, you didn’t have to call an ambulance”, I said to him. “I’m fine.”

“People who are ‘fine’ don’t pass out, Meredith”, he replied.

“I’m out of here.” I sat up and started to remove the tape on my IV. “Lower these rails or I’ll climb over them.”

Doc grabbed my hand and pulled it off my other hand, preventing me from removing any more tape. “You are not going anywhere. They will need to run some tests and if everything else is fine and you just passed out from the pain, then I am taking you to surgery to remove that cyst.”

“No, I will not consent.”

“You will.”

“No.”

Just then, an ER doctor came into the room. “Hi Meredith, I’m Dr Zoe Cox. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine, I just want out of here.”

“I’m sure you do, but we need to make sure you are okay. You passed out, I can’t let you go until I run some tests.”

“She’s not going anywhere”, Doc piped up. “She’s going to surgery to get that cyst removed from her ovary as soon as she’s cleared for it.”

“No, Doc. I said no and I mean it.”

“Dr Richards, I’m going to have to ask you to step out while I examine my patient.” It appeared that Doc didn’t know this ER doctor. That was a first!

I may have been pissed at Doc for calling the ambulance, but that didn’t mean I wanted him out of the room. “It’s okay, Dr Cox. I’d like him to stay.” I saw a look of relief come over Doc.

“Are you sure, Meredith?”

“Yes. I always want Doc with me when I’m having anything done to me.”

“Okay, but no upsetting the patient.” She looked directly at Doc. She did a bunch of tests like making me follow her finger, took my blood pressure, listened to my lungs and chest etc.

“So far, so good. I’d like to get a CT scan of your head to make sure there’s nothing wrong there.”

I looked at Doc. “No comments from the peanut gallery.”

“If everything checks out okay, I’ll hand you over to ob/gyn to deal with the cyst.”

“That would be me”, Doc said. “I’m on call tonight.”

Doc went with me to the CT scan. He hovered like a mother hen when they had me get up from the stretcher and get on the CT bed. I think he was afraid I was going to pass out again.

The scan showed no problems, so the ER doctor released me to the ob/gyn doc on call - namely, Doc. He ordered an ultrasound, even though I’d just had one a month or so ago, and stayed with me while I waited for them to take me to the Imaging department. I knew we were in for an argument about surgery. Up until now, he’d respected my choice to not have it, though he didn’t like it. But now he was not taking no for an answer and was insisting on it. Even if I changed my mind, no way was I having it that close to Christmas.

Doc was sitting in a chair beside my bed, holding my free hand through the rails. “Hon, please, you need to have this cyst taken out. It’s to the point where you are passing out from the pain.”

“It’s a one-off thing, Doc.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“Meredith, is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“Such as….?”

“Such as maybe something you’ve been doing to put yourself in so much pain?”

“Would I do that, Doc?”

“Yes, you would.”

Just then, a porter came to take me to Imaging. He had a wheelchair for me, but Doc insisted on a stretcher, so he went to get one. “Doc, I’m fine in a wheelchair.”

“Meredith, just let them take you on a stretcher.”

I had the ultrasound and it showed the cyst was now 11.1 cm. - a growth of .3 cm. I thought Doc was bad before, he was worse now. “You need to let me take that out, hon. It’s getting bigger all the time. You are lucky it hasn’t ruptured. That is what I thought had happened when you lost consciousness.”

“It’s not going to rupture, Doc.”

Just then, Dr Cox came back into the room. “Dr Richards, you are needed out there. An obstetrics emergency.”

I know he didn’t want to leave me, but he had no choice. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, hon.”

I waited for him to return but an hour went by and he still was not back. The next time a nurse came to check on me, I asked her where he was. She said she thought he’d gone upstairs to the OR, but she would find out for sure. A few minutes later, she came back in and said yes, he was doing an emergency c-section and I was being kept there in the ER until he was done. Apparently, my chart said I was to go up to the OR when it was ready after he was done with the c-section.

Screw that, I thought. And the nerve of him, ordering that in my chart when I said no! I told the nurse I wanted to sign out AMA (against medical advice). She said she’d get the ER doctor. But nobody came. I thought I heard a lot of activity outside my room. I tried the call bell after a while but it went unanswered.

I was fed up, so I sat up and looked around. My clothes were on a chair, as was my purse. Good. I just needed to get rid of the IV and get off the bed. My pain had settled down quite a bit, they had given me a shot and it was obviously working. I was a bit drowsy but determined to get out of there.

First thing I did was reach through the bars for a box of tissues next to me. Then I took the rest of the tape off my hand, and pulled the IV out, using tissues to put pressure on the spot for a minute. I didn’t know how to shut it off, so I tried to hang the tubing in such a way that the fluid wouldn’t flow out. Giving up on that, I got on my knees and crawled over the bars on the bed. Like a cat, I landed on my feet.

I got dressed and headed for the door. No interruptions yet, to my surprise. I opened the door and stepped out of the room. It was chaos in the ER. I made my way to the doors, dodging people, equipment and stretchers. When I got there, I stepped outside and got my phone out of my purse. I hadn’t wanted to use it inside. I called up my web browser and looked up the number of a cab company, then called for a car.

Tempted though I was to go get my car from Doc’s clinic parking lot, I knew I couldn’t drive due to that pain shot they gave me. I didn’t have a key to his apartment so I went home. It was dark out and nobody was home, thankfully the outside light is motion sensor. Karen had Jessie for the night. I texted her, telling her I was home and went upstairs and collapsed on the bed.

A few minutes later, I heard her calling out from downstairs. “I’m up here, Karen!”

“What are you doing home?” she asked as she came through the bedroom door. Jessie leaped up onto the bed. I petted her while I talked to Karen and told her all about what had happened.

“Julian is not going to be happy with you.”

“I know. I dread getting into it with him, but I refuse to have that surgery.”

“Why, Meredith? The cyst isn’t going to go away, Julian said so.”

I sighed. “I know. But I can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Why not?”

“Years ago, I knew a woman who had the same surgery. Something went wrong and she bled out and died.”

“That’s awful, Meredith, but that doesn’t mean it will happen to you.”

“I know, but I still can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Who would be doing it? Julian?”

“Yes, if it’s planned ahead of time. If it was an emergency surgery, whatever ob/gyn was on call at the time. But I wouldn‘t let anyone but Doc do it.”

“Then plan to do it so it doesn’t become an emergency. Have you told Julian why you are afraid to have it done?”

“No. He doesn’t know that I’m afraid, just that I don’t want it.”

“Tell him. It will help him understand your resistance.”

“Maybe I should.”

“Does he know you are home?”

“I left a message on his voice mail. He was still in surgery when I left the ER.”

“Well, when he comes home, tell him.”

About a half hour after Karen left, Doc called. “Meredith, before I chew you out, I want to know if you are okay.”

“I am fine, Doc.”

“Number?”

“2. They gave me a shot.”

“Ok, but what got into you?”

“I wanted to come home.”

“I wish you had at least gone to my apartment.”

“I would have, Doc, but I don’t have a key.”

“We are going to rectify that, hon. In the meantime, I want you to call me if you get into any distress or if your pain goes over 7. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“I want your word, Meredith.”

“Ok, you have it.”

“I will see you in the morning.” Doc always takes the day after call off in case he’s up all night with emergencies.

“Ok, Doc.”

“I love you, Meredith.”

“I love you, Doc.”

I fell asleep for a while shortly after talking to Doc, but then woke up and couldn't drift off again. I turned on the tv and watched some infomercials, hoping they'd bore me back to sleep. I did go to sleep again but not for long. Finally, I heard Julian come in the door. Jessie was out of bed and down the stairs in a flash. She had really taken to him and often went looking for him when she wanted something. I knew he would let her out before coming upstairs, so I got up and went to the bathroom.

Doc was getting undressed when I came out of the ensuite. “Back into bed”, he ordered. I didn’t argue. He came over and sat down beside me. “Number?”

“4.”

“It’s going up again.”

“It’s okay, Doc. It fluctuates a lot.”

“That doesn’t make it okay. You know, I almost didn’t come out here this morning.”

“What do you mean?”

“I almost went to my apartment instead. I was furious when I found out you’d left the hospital.”

“Doc, I told you in the beginning that I am not easy to care for and that I am not likely to change.”

“I know, hon. And that’s what brought me out here, reminding myself of that and of the fact I would rather have you as you are than not have you at all.” I sat up and he gave me a big hug.

“Doc, come into bed with me.” He had taken off his shirt, tie and pants and was just in his undergarments. He lay down and I snuggled up to him. “I need to tell you something.”

“What’s that, hon?”

I told him about the woman I knew who had died from the same surgery he wanted to do on me and how I was so afraid to undergo that procedure. “Doc, I just can’t bring myself to do it, no matter how bad the pain gets.”

“Hon, why didn’t you tell me this a long time ago?”

“I was afraid you would minimize it and tell me I was being silly.”

“I would never do that, Meredith. I *will* tell you that it’s a very safe procedure - all surgery has it’s risks and what happened to your friend is not the norm.”

“She wasn’t really a friend, more of an acquaintance.”

“Still, now I understand why you are so reluctant. I’m glad you told me, hon. Something you need to think about, though, is that your cyst is continuing to grow. If it ruptures, you will need emergency surgery and if I‘m not on call that day or night, it will be done by whoever is. If we schedule it ahead of time, I will be doing it.”

“Doc, I don’t want it this close to the holidays.”

“I can schedule it for the new year, hon.”

“I’ll think about it, Doc.”

“Please do, sweetie.”

“I have to go let Jessie in.”

“I’ll do it, hon. You stay here in bed. I’ll be back up in a minute.

Doc needed to sleep as he had not slept all night, and I’d had a restless night - I always do when he’s not home - so I was tired, too. When he got back upstairs, he snuggled up behind me and we drifted off.