Carrie didn't understand what was happening here. She definitely felt that Devin was taking this too far, but his stern insistence, perhaps combined with the feelings she still had for him, had an unexplainable power over her. Still, she wasn't about to tell him how anxious she actually was about this part of the exam. She was stubborn, and she didn't want to show him weakness. She wasn't sure she wanted him irritated with her while he did an exam she was afraid of, but somehow she felt that letting him know she was scared would be worse.

His expression softened slightly, but still let her know that he meant business. "I'll tell you everything I'm doing before I do it," he assured her. "I'm going to need you to take off your gown for the breast exam, but you can keep the blanket over your legs for now."

Refusing to look at him, she silently removed the nightshirt. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She crossed an arm over her chest.

"Okay, turn and face me," Devin instructed her. She swung her legs off the side of the bed and sat facing him, still avoiding eye contact. He gently took her wrist and pulled her arm away from her chest. "I have to be able to see them," he said. She suppressed the urge to laugh, looking up at the ceiling.

With her arms hanging at her sides, he gently held both of her wrists, almost as if in an effort to comfort her, as he visually inspected her breasts. She kept her gaze fixed on the ceiling. Having him stare at her like this was almost painful. "Okay," he said, letting go of her wrists, "put your arms up behind your head for me." She grimaced as she did so. This was so humiliating! "Good," he said. "I'm going to touch you now and feel your breasts for lumps. It's not going to hurt." She didn't respond, only took a breath and sighed. Even though he had warned her, she still jumped when his hand touched her right breast. "Relax," he said. He pressed in circles around her whole breast, then placed one hand under and one hand on top, feeling the deeper tissues between both hands. Next, he placed his fingers on either side of her nipple. "A little squeeze here," he said, as he pressed his fingers together, squeezing her nipple between them. She felt her face redden. She wasn't sure it could get much worse than this.

"All right," he said, after repeating the process on her left breast. "Lie down on your back for me, and keep your arms behind your head."

Oh God, he wasn't done yet? She did as he asked, closing her eyes and letting out another annoyed sigh. He seemed to ignore her irritation, as he continued the breast exam with her lying down. He again pressed in circles around each breast, followed by squeezing the nipple. When he was finished, he briefly laid a hand on her abdomen – that reassuring, yet dominating, hand again – as he said, "Okay, all finished here." Then he handed her the nightgown. "You can put this back on now, and go ahead and sit up for a minute."

While she did so, he went to the sink and washed his hands again. She was starting to feel even more apprehensive about what was coming next. She wondered if he could see it on her face, despite her best efforts not to show it. After drying his hands, he took two chairs from the small dining table in the corner of the room, and brought them to the bedside, placing them flush against the bed on either side of the desk chair he had been sitting in. Still giving him the silent treatment, she looked at him questioningly. "We'll use these to rest your feet on for the pelvic exam," he explained. Suddenly she understood, and she covered her face with her hands. Taking his seat in front of her, he put a hand on her knee. "It's not that bad, Carrie."

Easy for him to say. He never had to be on the receiving end.