After dinner that night, mom came over and talked to me.

“You know John, I’m sorry. I should have told you before I gave you that juice what it would do. And now that I think about it, it was totally unreasonable for us to ask you to do this. I know it must have been very embarrassing and hard for you. After all, you are growing up to be a fine, handsome young man with a kind and beautiful girlfriend. And as cute as you are as a baby, I realize that you’ve grown up and that in not too long you’ll have children of your own.”

I can’t describe how much better this made me feel. I had begun to think that mom didn’t care about how I felt throughout this whole endeavor, and now I felt a lot less guilty about backing out of it. “Thanks mom,” I said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go through with it. But you just don’t know how awful it felt to be a baby again. I was so helpless and in total control of you two!”

“Yeah, I realize that John. Again, I should have told you beforehand. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll think of some other way to help Carol”. With that, she gave me a big hug.

As I went to sleep that night, I kept on thinking of other ways to for Carol to get money. I became more and more worried as I thought about her family’s situation and how they were barely getting by. I also wished so badly that she knew how to take care of babies, ‘cause man, there were tons and tons of babies in this neighborhood and she could make tons of money.

It’s funny, even though I didn’t feel as bad about backing out, I kept thinking about what it had been like to be a baby again. To be scooped up in mom’s arms, to be called “adorable” by Carol, to be so small and helpless. As humiliating as it had been, I don’t know why, but part of me missed it. It was kinda nice to have all that attention and to be loved and cared for completely. Even though I had been helpless, I also felt extremely safe in mom’s arms. It just gave me a really funny feeling inside of my stomach when I thought about it (in a good way).

Was it really so bad to be a baby again? Mom said it only lasted a couple of hours, and no one else would have to know about it. Mom and Carol would know that I’m just doing it to help Carol, and it would fix all of her problems.

The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I decided that I should (and in fact, to my surprise, wanted to) do it. Part of it was curiosity, part or it was a desire to help Carol out, but perhaps what became the biggest part was my desire to be a baby again. Ok, ok, I know that sounds dumb, but it was how I felt.

Although it was pretty weird, I started to imagine being held in either Carol or moms’ arms and be rocked to sleep. I thought about my old blankie and teddy bear. I started wondering what it would be like to have Carol or mom put a diaper on me or feed me a bottle. ‘Stop it!’ I told myself. ‘Come on John, you’re sixteen. You go to high school, you’re a pretty cool guy, you’re a tough baseball player, and you have guy friends who you’re really close with. You don’t want to be a baby again. The only thing babies are good for is being completely taken care of, being held, getting a lot of attention from girls, not having a care in the world……’

It was no use. No matter how I tried to convince myself I was stupid for feeling this way, I couldn’t shake my desire to be a baby again. I would have never thought it to be possible until now, but with this mixture, I could be a total baby again, and Carol would learn to care for me. When I imagined being diapered and bottle fed, I couldn’t help but get extremely excited. (What I am still really embarrassed to admit is the fact that this, especially the diaper, gave me a boner).

I made a decision: I would tell mom that I changed my mind and that I would do it. They would never know that I had desires to be babied again, and I think I could stand the embarrassment now that I was prepared for it. And the feeling of being so small and helpless was just surreal. I was starting to even get a little excited about it, and I couldn’t wait for the next session.

“You know, mom,” I said the next morning. “After sleeping on it, I changed my mind. I’ll become a baby again in order to help Carol out”. I can’t even describe the look of joy that filled her face. “Oh, really?! John, I can’t thank you enough! This makes things so much easier, and I know Carol will be so happy!”

“Well, I thought about it and realized that I was just being selfish. It’s only for a few hours each session, and I really want to help Carol out.”

“John, that is very kind of you. I am very proud that I have a son who is willing to do just about anything to help those he cares for who are in need. But before we make it official, I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into. Remember, we’re going to need to treat you just like a real baby. I know that it will be really embarrassing for you, but keep in mind who babies are. You’ll have to wear diapers and baby clothes, be fed from a bottle while one of us holds you, sleep in a crib, be fed baby food wearing a bib and from a high chair, suck a pacifier, and take naps. You will be really small and have to act helpless, just like a real baby. And we may need to you to do certain things, like crying and making baby sounds instead of talking, and relaxing while we change your diapers, feed you, and hold you. And you may even need to cuddle a teddy bear or blanket, and perhaps the hardest thing, we’ll need you to wet and mess in your diapers. I know that’s a lot to ask, so before I get too excited, are you sure you’re willing to do it?”

Wow, I hadn’t thought about all of this. I mean, being fed baby food and wetting diapers? Not only was it uncomfortable, but extremely embarrassing. But when mom mentioned being held, diapered, and my teddy, I got a surge of excitement. I would just have to suck it up and take it like a man (or a baby).

“Yes, I’m still willing to do it,” I finally said. “Oh John, this means so much. And I’ll make sure Carol and I don’t talk baby-talk to you, since I know that must make it even worse.”

“Well, if it makes things go easier for you guys, you can go ahead. I know you’re just doing it for practice.” Secretly, I wanted to be talked to like a baby. It made me feel even more loved.

“Ok, John, if you don’t mind, I’ll just let it go naturally. And remember, if it ever gets to be too much, you’ll still be able to talk and tell us that you want to stop. We’ll understand. Oh yeah, and one more thing. I personally think that not only will Carol love you even more because this helps her out monetarily, but I think she finds certain pleasure in diapering and bottle-feeding her boyfriend!” She made this last statement with a smile.

Even though it made me turn a little red, I felt this wave of heat spread over my body when she said this. It was like a new level of excitement for me. By the way, I later thought that mom probably got joy out of babying her sixteen-year old son as well!

With everything set up, I counted away the days until our first baby-sitting practice session.