Here's my life story in regards to diapers

I remember when I was 5 and my brother was 2. I would steal some of the pampers he wore and try to tape them on me but I guess I couldn't figure out how they worked so that was the end of that.

When I was 8, I took some attends that my old elementary school had for the handicapped children that went to the school. I remember staying late after school and when everyone was one, I would take them into the boys bathroom and get diapered in a stall. It felt so babyish and good but kind of scary! That went on for a while! I even faked sick to stay home a few times so that I could get to be in diapers all day. I also remember that when I was 10, I used a white garbage bag, wide masking tape, a roll of paper towels and a role of toilet paper and made my own home-made diaper. It was excellent but kind of baggy and it leaked. When I was 10.5 I bought my first pack of pampers to add to the above home made diaper which solved the leaking problem. When I was 11, I discovered what maxi-pads were used for and I used to take several from my mom's stash and make thin and efficient diapers out of them. when I was 12, I had enough guts to go and buy my first pack of depends. That was HEAVEN but they leaked a lot.

And of course I faked sick a lot of the time to stay home and be in diapers ALLLLLLL day long! That went on for a while still. Then, one day, while diapered in a home-made diaper, I had my first ejaculation quite by accident! I was frightened that I had 'broken' something and abandoned diapers for a while. After reading up on my anatomy and that this kind of thing was OK, I bought my first pack of Attends when I was 13. Now attends at the time had two tapes and a plastic liner and didn't hold much at all. That's when I discovered that double diapering was a viable option. I remember that when I was in grade 9, my brother was in grade 6 in a different school so that our march breaks ran a different times. I was able to spend one whole week being diapered every day, ALL day! I swear that I had to re-train myself near the end! So this went on for a while. Then when I was 16, I bought my first pacifier, baby bottle, diaper rash cream and baby wipes. Also, my mom had gotten a blanket sleeper (no feet) for herself from sears (SERIOUSLY!). I remember putting that thing on (it was a light baby blue) while wearing diapers and I really did look like a baby with my pacifier, stuffed teddy and baby bottle. I used to fill it with Kool-aid or apple juice and lie on the sofa or on a blanket on the floor and just be my baby self, feeling content, secure and happy. During this time I was having rather severe problems at school with people making threats on my life (for real), getting beat up all the time (the fact that I wear glasses and LOVE math and physics didn't help!). o, when I was 17 (grade 12) I dropped out a very depressed and suicidal 17 year old. To make matters worse, while I was on my "sabbatical", I used diapers but was caught by my mom who found my hiding place! It was game over for a while as I was shuttled from shrink to shrink to "cure" my deep depression. Fortunately every psych that I went to thought that my diapers were a result of my depression. So, to help myself and solve the entire mess, I went to a mental health center where I voluntarily spent 3 months sorting out my emotional mess. It was very nice there actually. Good food, great people, fucking idiot doctors though! So, in 3 months with NO medication I cured my depression (using special thinking and mind/meditation techniques that I read about) and at the same time I did my grade 12 advanced math by correspondence in one month. That's also the time when I took up scuba diving and found a heart-felt love for the ocean. However, at the mental health center, they had a geriatric section. And, as you can guess, they had diapers (cloth) AND rubber pants! COOL! I thought! So I used those a number of times and NEVER got caught! They were medi-pants made in Sweden. Very absorbent but a totally ugly green color. Worse than depends! I would take my wet/dirty diapers when I was done and sneak them into the outgoing laundry bin and take new, clean ones from the incoming laundry bin. Then after I left Homewood I didn't do diapers for like 1.5 years. (I know, awful eh!?) That takes me to 18.5 when I broke my no-diaper spell and bought a pack of attends which I didn't finish and threw out on fear of discovery. I left diapers again for a while and picked it up again when I was 19 but we were renovating at the time so I was afraid of getting caught. When I had just turned 20 (may 22 of this year) I got the job offer to start in June from one of Canada's largest Internet providers. There I became a beta tester for their software and that's when I found alt.sex.fetish.diapers and all the web AB stuff including #DPF on IRC. That was also the time when I read my first issue of Aquacorp journal (very high-tech diving mag). It featured a 12 page article on toileting problems that tech divers have while spending 8 or 9 hours underwater. It featured a lengthy review of diapers, their use, catheters and the issue of defecation. After all was said and done, the panel of experts decided that diapers are the best method. COOL! I though. Now everything is coming together! Just 3 months ago I bought a pack of attends and nearly finished them but I tossed the rest since my hiding place was in jeopardy of being discovered! (This house has like no place hide ANYTHING! AAAUUGGHH!!) That takes me to now. Meeting you, enjoying the company of people on #DPF, webbing to new sites for pictures, fantasizing about being in diapers with someone else who actually accepts it and doesn't mind one bit, etc. There is not ONE night that goes by where I don't dream, or fantasize about diapers. I LOVE diapers. They make me feel secure, safe, warm, comfortable, giggly, sensual, happy, babyish and at peace with everything out there. All the problems of the world disappear when I'm in diapers. It's a feeling that words can not explain.

Well, there ya go. Anything you read should go to your grave with you.

I hope that gives you a better understanding about where I come from in terms of diapers and AB.