Ah to be back in school… How I foundly remember hating it back then too. If it’s possible, I think I hate it more now. Usually when you do something twice, you find it’s easier the second time around… not for me though.

Maybe it’s the fact that my second high school education is being given to me in different circumstances. This time around, I’m an outsider with few, if any, friends. I also can’t understand anyone since I don’t speak the language, and I seem to have a problem controlling my bladder. Possibly the worst thing though… for my secondary, secondary education, I’m having to take it as a girl. Not mentally… but… physically… I’m in a girl’s body… Your guess is as good as mine as to how this happened.

As for the here and now; I’m walking with a girl named Papillon. I discovered her name somewhere in her long inane babbling. It was the only word I soaked up as her tidal wave of speech washed over me. Everything was just sort of chatter that I was pretty good at ignoring by now. I know that sounds kind of mean for me to say, but this girl knew perfectly well I couldn’t speak French or understand her. She, like everybody in this tiny town, seemed not to care I couldn’t understand when they told me their life story.

Papillon was awfully impressed with how I’d decked Gérard. She beat her fist down into her hand and laughed each time as she re-lived the moment.

“I don’t ever want to forget that moment. The look of surprise on his face when you cracked into his jaw… Princeless.”

I began to suspect she’d had beef with him in the past, and she really enjoyed this comeuppance. Still, I guess it was good to have someone impressed with me. It was something new, and something that I really hadn’t expected to happen today.

I walked into class feeling oddly proud. It was the morning of my second day at this little school, and I realized just how little it was. The other students whispered amongst themselves as I went by. Apparently news travels really fast, and my fight minutes before had made front page.

I found Sophie at her desk, and we made eye contact, but she quickly turned away. I don’t think she was the happiest about the fight. Papillon left me for her desk and the company of some of her chatty friends who actually understood her. I just took my seat and looked up to see that Angélique wasn’t here. Marcel and Gérard were here though. They were both at their desks, which were dangerously close by. Gérard’s lip was puffed out a little. I tried not to look at him, but smiled when I caught this small change in his appearance. “Take that ass-hat,” I whispered to myself smugly.

The class talked and whispered amongst itself for a few minutes until Angélique finally did appear. As she came into the room, everyone quieted down and started to take their seats. All seats filled up, except one.

“Sorry I’m a little late getting here,” Angélique said. “I had to speak with our headmistress this morning…”

A smile grew on Gérard’s swollen lips. No doubt his little crony Louise had reported the fight to his teacher and the headmistress… didn’t matter what Marcel wanted him to do. All he had to do now was just sit back, relax, and watch for storming nuns.

Angélique noticed the single empty chair. “Where is Louise?” She inquired politely.

Gérard looked a little surprised. Louise should have been to the office with her and headmistress.

“Oh well, no matter… When they come around for attendance later, I’ll let them know Louise is playing hooky.”

I noticed a peculiarity. There was a boy missing in class. I don’t know his name, but I know he’s one of Marcel’s little retarded gang members. His absence didn’t affect me though, so I just settled in and waited.

Class began just as it had the day before. Everyone cracked open their books, I shifted a little uncomfortably in my seat, dreadfully aware of my pull-up underneath my skirt, and I did my best to follow along in the foreign lesson.

Angélique dumbed it down a little for me, but I was still very much lost through most of it. I opened my book and looked at the pictures. At one point, I tried to get Sophie’s attention, but she ignored me. I think she knew that Marcel and Gérard were officially watching anything I did or anyone I talked too. Either that, or Sophie just really didn’t like her translating task and was taking it out on me.

Three and half hours of boringness later, it was finally lunch time. I stayed at my desk until Marcel and his lot had left, noticing the mean look they gave me. With everyone gone I went to Angélique’s desk.

“My class was very chatty today. I think a lot of them were talking about you… Second day here and already the whole school is a buzz about you,” Angélique said sweetly tossling my hair. I just grinned and nodded, it’s the best thing to do when someone who has reason to possibly be mad is happy with you instead.

Angélique looked around the room for a second, making sure no one was in ear shot, and no one was, since they’d left a minute before for lunch. She looked at me, “Now do you… need to go to the bathroom? Did you use your diaper?”

I blushed. I knew she was asking me about my diaper, only she didn’t know I hadn’t worn the diaper. I’d put on a pair of pull-ups this morning instead… I discreetly patted underneath my skirt and found them a little wet, but holding up. I had a spare in my bag, so I told her as best I could that I was okay, and that I was going to the restroom.

Angélique nodded. “I think that would be best, hurry off. Maybe you can prove me wrong and not actually need that diaper.”

“Sure, whatever,” I said waving her off as I left the classroom. I made my way to the bathroom. I wasn’t really sure if I needed to go, it just felt like it couldn’t hurt to try, rather then just letting it happen as the day went on. Besides, probably wouldn’t hurt to change into a dry pair of pull-ups.

Coming around the hall corner, I found Marcel’s gang. Only they weren’t looking at me. They were helping someone out of a wall locker. I pressed myself to the wall and watched as they tugged free the boy who’d been missing in class.

“Louise, where the hell did you go? Did you report the fight to the Headmistress?” Gérard asked.

The boy looked slightly contorted, having been stuffed in the locker for a few hours. Marcel kicked the boy in the shine and looked sternly at Gérard. “Idiot, I told you not to report it. You’ll both get nailed if the headmistress finds out.”

“Shut up Marcel.”

Marcel hit Gérard across the jaw, not nearly as hard as I had, more like a hard tap. Spooked him a bit. “Never tell me to shut up big brother. I’ll kick your ass.” He turned to the boy who’d been rescued from the locker. “Sorry this happened to you Louise, but seriously, you knew I didn’t want this reported, you need to listen to me next time, not ox head my brother. Bust still, who did this to you? Was it the American girl?”

The locker-boy shook his head no. I think they were questioning who’d stuffed him in the locker.

“It was Cyprien and Jeanne. The jumped me as soon as I started running for the headmistress office.”

“Those two? What the hell do they care about you for?”

“I… I dunno…”

I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I turned and nearly screamed in fright finding Papillon there. She held a finger up to my mouth, to show me I needed to be quiet, and luckily I had enough sense not to make any noise. The ass-hat club hadn’t noticed me thus far and so I creeped off with Papillon.

“You just look for trouble, don’t ya?” Papillon said admirably. “Those boys aren’t your biggest fans, and yet you follow them around.”

I still didn’t understand this girl, so I just changed the subject of whatever she was talking about. “Sorry, I don’t really know what you mean, and I wasn’t doing anything more then some harmless eavesdropping on the ass-hats.” She looked at me blankly, and we kept walking the long way towards the lunch hall. As we got near I spied the bathroom and made to head inside. Papillon followed.

I locked myself in one of the stalls and pulled down my pull-ups so that I could sit down and take care of business… Once again I was somehow fortunate to do… um… two… on the toilet. Its weird cause I can’t usually feel the need, but I can seem to control it a little… I dunno.

“Are you almost done?” Papillon asked.

I blushed and immediately pulled up my wet undergarment. If she looked at the right angle, she’d certainly see it. “I don’t need you here, or to wait for me, or whatever you want. I didn’t ask you to follow me in, you just did.” I called out. It didn’t make her leave though.

I tried to figure out what to do. I had a spare pull-up in my bag, but changing into it would mean I’d have to throw the wet one away, which I couldn’t do with Papillon waiting outside the stall. I frowned and didn’t change it.

“Took you a while, come on, Lunch is already half way over.”

I went to go wash my hands. Papillon looked around to make sure no one was nearby for a second and came to whisper to me. “What was it my mom gave you when you came to visit? I think I know what it was… and if its what I think it was… I’ll tell everyone you have a problem if you tell them I used too. They um… weren’t even mine in the first place.”

I stopped washing my hands and turned to Papillon. “English… Learn to speak English.” I said. She tilted her head at me and made sort of an “oh” face and nothing more was said.

We went to the lunch room and got lunch. Papillon wanted me to sit with her friends at her table. But, with the morning I’d had, I politely waved the offer off, and found Sophie sitting by herself. Whatever had happened to make her like me even less then usual needed to be remedied, because at the moment, she was the only one in school who spoke English.

I sat down across from her with my tray and she looked up with a glare from her reading. Without saying a word she closed her book and got up to leave.

“No wait… Please, I’m sorry for whatever made you mad.”

“Don’t be sorry when you don’t even know why,” she said.

“That’s what bugs me more, I really want to know why you’re mad. I can’t stand not knowing why someone is mad at me. Especially when that person is the only one who can understand me.”

“I just want to be left alone… and you don’t understand that… no one does. That’s why I’m mad.” And with that she stormed off.

I sighed and slumped down in my chair. I played with my fork in the fruit mix or whatever it was and wondered how I could get her back to the cordial level she’d be at when I first met her. I needed an English speaking friend. After I’d sat thinking for a few moments, a piece of carrot landed on my tray. I rolled my eyes, ass-hats… Least they couldn’t aim.

After lunch I snuck off to the bathroom. The first one I came to had two girls smoking in it. They had their backs to me, so I quickly ran off to another. I managed to get into my dry pull-up and get back to class without being late.

Afternoon class was way better then morning class. I was able to show off once more in Math. Just like yesterday Angélique started class with some tricky upper level math question… I smiled because I knew she was testing me again. I didn’t disappoint.

Somewhere in the lesson, I wet my pull-up. I was mid-way through some graphing when I felt my seat get a bit warm. My face flushed red and I stopped my pencil to check and see if anyone had noticed… I waited and luckily everyone was engrossed in their lesson. Heaving a sigh of relief I went back to work. Towards the end of class though… my pull-up had leaked a little. There’s a fine difference between the moist feeling of the padding, and the wet feeling of pooled pee. I was definitely feeling a little bit of the wetness, and my skirt also started to feel a little damp on my leg.

I dropped my pencil, and then hesitated on picking it up. Angélique looked up from her desk, giving me a questioning glance. I was about in tears, but to my absolute good fortune, the bell rang a moment later, and the class slowly started to leave. I sat perfectly still, not daring to move an inch.

“Later Alouette,” Papillon said to me as she walked by. She paused to pick up my pencil and put it on my desk before she left, giving me a slightly weird look since I didn’t say anything and just sat very still.

Sophie was one of the last people to leave and Angélique stopped her before she did. Angélique tried to be as nice as she could, knowing she was a bit mean the day before. “I want you to take your math seriously with Alouette, I really think you both can help each other out. She doesn’t have a lot of friends.”

“I’m sure she has plenty after what she did this morning…”

“What do you mean?”

Sophie rolled her eyes, teachers could be really clueless sometimes. “She...”

Sophie looked at me. Her and Angélique were talking about something and I think it involved me. She knows about my problem… she has to given that I had an accident yesterday right in front of her. Before she could say another word I just blurted out.

“Tell Angélique I can’t get up. My… my skirt’s wet.”

Sophie looked at me incredulously. “Why is your skirt….” It dawned on her.

Angélique looked at us both and then focused on Sophie. “So are you going to study then? What did Alouette say?”

Sophie paused. Once again she was caught in the middle. “She said that… she can’t get up.”

“What? Why?”

Angélique walked up to me. I tried not to meet her gaze. I think she was about to find out that I didn’t wear what she’d asked me to wear. She took my hand and yanked me up out of my seat. I yelped a little and put my hands over my rear to try and hide what I knew was probably there.

“Your skirts wet.” Angélique said matter-of-factly to me. Sophie shrugged, that’s what she was going to say if given the time.

My eyes went wide and I quickly tried to bring my hands around to the front as Angélique lifted up my skirt right in front of Sophie. It was only a few inches before Angélique noticed what I was wearing and she stared sternly at me. Sophie looked slightly aghast.

I pushed down my skirt from Angélique’s hands and quietly said “non.” I’d rather not be chastised in front of someone. “It… just happened.”

“Well, I see you haven’t made any progress at all, and that you didn’t listen to me this morning. Now do you see why I think you need to be in diapers?” Angélique said while poking at the wet part of my skirt. I understood “diaper” and from her example of my wet skirt, I understand her complete lack of faith in my bathroom habits.

“Diapers?” Sophie asked in her soft voice. Angélique and I turned to see her standing there, and everything suddenly got really awkward and embarrassing… Angélique looked like she was about to say something but I walked to Sophie first.

“It’s a really long story… I…wasn’t always…” I felt tears welling up, and quickly stopped the story. I forgot that she didn’t believe it yet either.

“Alouette doesn’t have any bladder control. She’s wet herself every day for almost a week and as far as I know, has all her life,” Angélique said calmly. “You saw her do the same thing yesterday.”

“You need diapers?” Sophie asked me cautiously. I wanted to say no, but I just shook my head yes. I think Angélique took it as a small victory her way too.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

It took a little while for things to get straightened out. Angélique and Sophie talked for a little while. Sophie got emotional about it, and made a few wild hand gestures at me and Angélique every now and then. I just sat holding the ends of my skirt down and waiting for the hallway to clear of people.

When it finally had, Angélique sent us out. I held a book over my butt as we snuck off with my wet skirt to the gym. Sophie had a spare skirt in her gym locker.

Angélique was mad, and I think she wasn’t looking much to help me out. Usually she was down right motherly when dealing with my embarrassment because of an accident, but today she seemed to leave me on my own since I’d disobeyed her.

“What did Angélique say earlier?” I asked Sophie, in the hopes she wouldn’t be upset with me from lunch. Seems everyone’s upset with me lately.

“She didn’t know you were in a fight this morning, and I didn’t tell her. It would just make more drama if she knew…”

“Thanks…” I said dryly.

“She also wants me to get math tutoring from you, and for me to help you with French.”

Her voice was still a little shy and low, and I looked at her hopefully. “Could you… help me? I don’t care much about the French, I’d be happy just having someone to talk too who spoke English.”

“I…” she sounded sad but slightly annoyed. “I just wanted to be left alone. All you’ve done is attract attention to yourself. Your different, your new, you fight… you wet yourself.”

I stopped walking and felt tears well up again. “That hurt…” I said softly.

She raised her voice a little, “well you do! Why are we going to the gym right now if you don’t? Angélique wants us to be best friends. Do you know what that’ll mean?”

I didn’t answer.

“It means that I’ll be associated with you… Whenever you get attention, my name will be tagged on, and people will bother me… What if they find out you’re going to be wearing diapers, the first thing they’ll ask themselves is if I do too. I don’t want any attention! I just…”

“Don’t want to be bothered,” I said finishing her sentence and feeling a little tear. I’d never had to ask for a friend before… Even worse, I’d never been shot down by one. I pushed past her at a jog and made for the bathroom. I couldn’t really stop the tears now. She was right. I couldn’t control myself and I needed to wear diapers. If I wasn’t already the center of every conversation, if my secret broke, I’d have no chance of ever fitting in.

Second day, second time… I found myself on the exact same stall in the ladies room. Crying quietly to myself. My skirt was still wet, but it was probably going to dry by the time I got out, so it didn’t even seem to bother me that much.

I heard the bathroom door open and the soft shuffle of feet. Sophie spoke up. “Alouette?”

“Like you, I don’t want to be bothered,” I said as coldly between tears as I could.

She was quiet for a little bit, before opening my stall door and looking at me. Her expression was hard to place. I don’t think she was used to having to deal with anything like this before. She was just a quiet girl and suddenly she’d be thrust into a loud situation. She took off her glasses. I wasn’t buying it.

“I think I understand why you don’t want to be bothered,” I said. “Because you never are.”

She screwed up her face in a question. “Huh?”

“I knew people like you back when I first went to high school. You were so quiet and lonely that somewhere along the way you gave up trying have a friend accept you. You’re defensively solitary. People don’t concern themselves with you, so why should you concern yourself with them?”

Her face changed somewhat. I don’t think I was making the shot, but I was hitting the backboard. Her voice hit normal level and she quickly put her glasses back on. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“Your right! I don’t! But I wanted to. You speak English, and so do I. That puts you leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else if I had a choice of making friends with. I’m sorry Angélique is pressuring you into the situation, and if you want, I won’t be your friend, I’ll just be your hard ass math tutor. I’ll be..”

“I don’t need any friends or any math tutors. Okay?” she said interrupting me. “Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I just want to be left alone. I don’t want any attention, I don’t want any friends.”

She started to walk out, but I got out of the stall and stood behind her. “That’s because you’ve never really had a friend isn’t it?!” I shouted at her.

Her reply was something of a muffled roar as she tackled me. Her hand grabbed some of my hair, my hand grabbed some of hers, and we tugged like mad.

“Take that back!” she cried. I didn’t reply, but just stayed in the lock with her, occasionally making a whimper or general noise of pain as my hair was pulled. “I said take it back!”

“Its true isn’t it?”

“No, everything was great until I came to this school. I had friends in Paris , but no one wanted to be my friend around here!”

“I want to be your friend!” I said as I pulled extra hard.

“No you don’t!”

“Yes I do! And if you don’t take your knee off my abdomen I’ll leak all over your skirt too.”

Sophie started cracking up. She let go of my hair, and slumped backwards. I did the same.

“I think I would have preferred if you’d hit me in the jaw like I did Gérard, rather then pull my hair…” I said while patting my head. Stings a bit.

“I never thought someone would fight me for friendship… I don’t even know if it is friendship.”

“I’ve had plenty of friends I wanted to beat up all the time. You’ll get used to it. And you’ll also get used to the fact I’m going to have to bother you… and bother you a lot, since I can’t speak French.”

Sophie’s laughter died down. “I don’t want any attention.”

“You think I want attention? That I want a fight every morning? That I want people to know I piss myself? Trust me, if I could, I’d fade into gray like you.”

Sophie frowned, but paused a moment in reflection. “Are… you… really going to be able to help me with Math?”

“Yeah, that’ll be easy. Are you going to be able to deal with me being around?”

“No, that’ll be hard. But I will… I mean… I’ll try my best.”

I got up and offered her a hand, helping her to her feet. “I can deal with that.” And with that… I’d made my first real friend as a girl.

My skirt was dry now so we didn’t bother going to the gym for me to change. We headed for the library, and since we’d wasted so much time, Angélique came in to get me only like 10 mins after we’d started with her Math lesson. She also picked at my hair a little bit and I assume she asked why it looked askew, but Sophie replied for me with a wink and Angélique did ask anything further.

She took me home and brought me straight up to my room. She wasn’t amused about the diaper taped to her door and so for the rest of the evening, didn’t give me a dress or skirt or anything to cover the diaper she put me in. Through dinner and homework, she grumpily enforced me to wear just a t-shirt and diaper, which I did without wanting to add more to whatever number of fights I’d had both verbal and physical today.

As I was finishing up my homework, the phone rang. It scared me a bit because it hadn’t happened often since I’d been here. My mind immediately started to race with thoughts of whom it could be… most of those thoughts worrying about a stupid Inspector.

“Leroy!” Angélique said happily as she answered the phone. I scratched my head. Who was Leroy?

“Your going to be back in town? That’s wonderful! You have to come by for dinner tomorrow. No no, I insist. I’ve had company the last few days… silly, it’s a girl, I’d never replace you with another guy… Actually she’s a young girl, one of my students now. Yep, you’ll meet her tomorrow.”

Who the heck is Leroy? I couldn’t figure it out, but Angélique seemed excited to hear from him. Indeed she was more sing song then usual right up until she put me to bed. Whatever, didn’t matter, I’d made a friend today, and at least that was something.