“Let me go!” I yelled at Angélique.

“Calm down, calm down. I think your still hung-over Alouette.”

“Why won’t you let go of me?”

For a brief moment I think she understood me. She forced me back into the chair and tugged at my shirt, as if to show it to me. I looked at it, then at her, then at myself. Maybe my original thoughts that she was trying to keep me in captivity were wrong? Looking at myself a little more, I realized she was trying to keep me in for modesty sake; I was only in a t-shirt and panties after all.

A loud knock stemmed from the front door. It made the two of us jump a little. Angélique crossed the room and opened the door. I was at an angle so that I couldn’t see who was there, but I got up and leaned over to see whoever was there.

“Bonjour Angélique,” said a round short man. He was a jolly sort of pudgy and had a ridiculous handle bar mustache. He also looked to be a policeman of sorts.

“Bonjour Monsieur Badeau.”

“Have you by chance seen a young American man? His name is Andy and he was here in town with a tour group before he went missing last night.”

“An American? No, can’t say I’ve seen an American Man… but strangest coincidence, I did find this young girl… Apparently she’s American.”

I heard the name Andy and immediately perked up. This officer was looking for me. When Angélique said something back to him, they both turned to me. I didn’t know what to say, I sort of froze and waited for them to make a connection. I know I’d told Angélique what my real name was, and maybe she’d pick up on the way I’d said it first.

“Is this the American girl?” Monsieur Badeau asked.

“That’s her. Was lying in the ditch by the back road out of town.”

“Hmmm, she’s not from the tour group then. They’re group is all college age so she’s not old enough. Wonder where she came from?”

“Why don’t you ask her? She apparently doesn’t speak a word of French.”

“Well my English isn’t great, but I’ll give it a shot.”

The man stepped up to me. He smelt kind of like cloves and didn’t look very clean kept. His uniform said “Policia,” and had little bright yellow patches and stuff on it. He leaned down to me the way Santa might if he had to ask what you wanted while standing up.

“Where from you?”

I think he wanted to know where I was from. My mind suddenly grasped the idea he might know a little English.

“I’m Anthony! I was in the tour group! Help me! I’ve been hit with medieval witchcraft or something! I swear I was a guy yesterday!” I was talking so fast I was panting. Angélique looked at me a little surprised at my outburst. The officer did too.

“What… did she say?

“Is this girl right in the head? She said that she was the man I’m looking for? She said her name’s Anthony?”

“Hmm… she did say that name to me earlier... But… I really must tell you, she was really drunk last night. I picked her up and she was just a mess. Still kind of is this morning.”

The officer looked at me again.

“Please not lie mademoiselle. They missing a man, not a girl.”

“I’m not lying! I’m Anthony!”

“She says she’s Anthony.”

“Her name’s Alouette, I have no idea why she keeps saying that.”

“She may know what happened to the young man though. You said she’d mentioned his name earlier?”

“Yes, before you came in when we were having breakfast.”

“How else could she have known it?”

“Maybe she met the young man? What time did he go missing?”

“He just never came back last night. His friends last saw him around 6pm in the afternoon.”

“I picked this girl up around 8pm . She had been drinking really heavily. From the state she was in, I’d say she had probably been drinking long before 8. Maybe she met him in her stupor?”

“Well, if you could, keep her here and get her to sober up. Maybe she can help us find this young man. For now, I don’t think she’s going to be any help to us.”

“I’ll see to it that she cleans up a bit.”

“Try to keep her here. If she knows something, or worse, if she was involved in his disappearance, we’ll need her for questioning.”

“Oui Monsieur Badeau, I understand.”

The officer tipped his hat to Angélique and looked at me one more time.

“Don’t go!! I’m Anthony!” I said jumping out at him. Angélique caught me by the shoulder and kept me in. The man looked at me like I was a threat for a moment, then shook his head like he felt pitty for me.

“Take care of this girl poor girl, she’s still not right.”

And with whatever French he spewed, he left and Angélique shut the door behind him. I felt like my ship had just left harbor and I was standing on the dock. How could he not believe me? I struggled to get Angélique’s hand off my shoulder and get out the door after him.

Her hand clamped down, and I felt tears come to my eyes again as I started yelling once more “Let me go! I’m Anthony! I’ll miss the bus!” I was trying to push my feet forward, but Angélique brought her other arm around my waist. My tears came heavier now and I still tried to yell it. I don’t know why I was crying. I think it was because I was suddenly helpless, and the voice that was yelling was not mine. It was the voice of a young girl, and my mind didn’t want to accept the fact that I was the speaker of it.

“You’re not well Alouette, please stop yelling that foolishness.”

My body gave up its fight, and I surrendered to my tears and a hug from Angélique. I softly hit her shoulder, just repeating “I’m Anthony… I’m Anthony…” But even my mind was registering how ridiculous it sounded in my feminine voice. Her hand patted my back, and the other gently stroked the back of my head. The tears eventually stopped coming and I just let my head lean against her shoulder. She pushed me back a little and looked into my eyes.

“Certainly do cry a lot, no? Poor girl…”

I looked away and stared at the floor. Angélique sighed and took my hand, leading me back upstairs.

“Take a long bath, it will clean you up a little better and help you sober up. I’ll figure out what to do with you afterward.”

Angélique brought me to the bathroom and started the running water in the old style porcelain tub. I just stood like a zombie. Whatever spirit had been in me to run before, was gone now with that good cry.

Angélique left to a closet in the hall and came back with some towels. By now the tub was full of hot water. She put the folded pile of towels on the floor.

“Just come get me when you’re done.”

I looked at her blankly once more, still no idea what she was saying. She pointed at the water, then pointed at the towels, then pointed at herself.

She left the bathroom and shut the door behind her. I stood for another moment not really sure what I felt like doing, but in the end I took off the night shirt and panties and gingerly got into the tub. After having pissed myself last night, I really wanted to take a bath anyways… and maybe it would help rid me of this horrible headache.

I found a new problem with the bath though. Like everything else I’d done this morning, it felt like I was doing it with a stranger, or doing it for the first time. This body was absolutely foreign to me. It was weak where it should have been strong, it was soft where it should have been rough. It was every which way it shouldn’t have been.

The remnants of man in me, was even curious to explore this new body, but at the same time repulsed by the idea. As stupid as it sounds, my new body was underage… and it just felt… well it felt wrong. Just flat wrong. I washed those parts of me in the same way someone did a chore they hated doing; quickly and with as little enthusiasm as possible.

Afterwards I just laid in the tub. I was wishing this was all a dream. Some bad dream where I was liable to wake up any minute… but I knew it wasn’t a dream. It was too real, I’d felt Angélique’s hand on my shoulder earlier, I felt the hot water around me now… It couldn’t be fake. What’s worse, was the officer’s affirmation that Anthony…er.. I.. was missing. So it wasn’t like I just up and disappeared, my body was turned into this one.

Eventually I got out of the tub and pulled the plug. I dried myself off with a towel and wrapped it around my body. I wasn’t really sure what to do with my hair. It went a little ways past my shoulders and I’d never had so much hair in my life. I was used to just running my hand through it like five times and poof, it was dry. Not sure what to do now, I tried to dry it off with another towel, and that worked somewhat, but didn’t get me too far.

I opened the door to the hallway and Angélique poked her head out of the room I’d been in down the hall when I woke up this morning. She was changing the linens. It made me blush a little because I knew why she needed to do it. I trudged slowly down the hall to her, holding my towel up.

“All clean?”

“Blah blah blah to you too.”

Angélique rolled her eyes. She may not have gotten the words, but she got the tone. She plucked the towel from me. I quickly covered myself with my hands as she went and got some clothes from another room.

Now I felt thoroughly stupid standing naked. Angélique came back in the room with some clothes, girls clothes of course. Rather then be naked I took them. I slipped on another pair of panties, slightly big on me of course. Then a t-shirt, also slightly big, and a pair of pants. The pants were corduroy jeans, and lavender purple. For some reason they seemed to fit fairly well on me. I tucked in my shirt, but being as big as it was, it still bagged over the edge of my pants.

I caught a look at myself in the mirror, or rather I caught a look at Alouette in the mirror, because as far as I was concerned, that girl wasn’t me, it was just my temporary insanity. Still I looked at the girl and she looked ridiculous, just like a girl who’d borrowed her big sister’s clothes.

A phone started to ring. Angélique left me standing and admiring mirror, while she went downstairs to answer it.

“Oh Monsieur Badeau…? Oui, I can have her to the station. Sure, be right there.”

Angélique came back into the room and took my hand once more.

“We’re going to the police station.”

She said something Policia, so I cheered up, thinking that maybe my ship hadn’t left yet. Angélique led me out her front door by her hand again. I felt a little uncomfortable being pulled along like a child with her hand. I tried to tug away, but she increased her grip. She didn’t want me running off or even walking on my own I guess.

Apparently Angélique lived in a little home just inside the borders of town. It was a nice white brick house. Somewhere half-way up its face they had tried to do some type of siding, but didn’t finish the job on the lower half. At least the entire thing was white, with a black shingle roof.

We walked up the winding roads that led to the center of town. The place was built on a generally sloping hill, so that if you wanted to get to the center of town, you were walking up hill no matter which direction you came of.

As we neared the top of the street, I could see Le Febure Viticoles outside of town. My mind shot back to the wine and I realized that maybe it had a part to play in my new body.

“That’s the place!! That damn ancient wine may have messed me up!” I said pointing at it with my free hand. Angélique tugged me a little rudely.

“Yes that’s the viticoles… I think you drank enough vin last night though. Try to keep away from it for a while, your too young to drink anyways.”

I think she didn’t like me and the idea of a winery. I didn’t point at it any more, but I kept my eye on it as we continued up the hill.

We came to a police station. It looked more like a barber shop in a row of townhouses. We both walked up the front steps and went into the small office.

“Bonjour Angélique,” said an officer behind the main counter. He smiled and then looked at me suspiciously. “Inspector Badeau will be right with you. Go ahead and head to his office. Oh and Angélique?”

“Oui MonsieurRousseau?”

“How’s my Sophie doing in school?”

“Needs work on her mathematics, but otherwise, one of my top.”

The officer smiled at their exchange of words and waved us to an office in the back. We walked back and found the man who had come by Angélique’s house earlier. There was also another man next to him, a taller man who seemed a little older, and getting that horseshoe baldness going.

“That boy was located. They found him this morning at the hotel, after having scared all his friends half to death. Apparently he drank a little too much last night and passed out in the wrong room at the hotel.”

“Is he still around? I want to give him a piece of my mind, I bet he got this poor girl drunk!”

“No, he left already. Their tour group was already really behind in their schedule… Why, did the girl say that the boy did anything to her?”

The three looked at me. They had talked a little bit and stared at me as if I had an answer to a question never asked. The tall man spoke up in very good English.

“My name is Inspector Vachel Facet. How are you feeling?”

The sound of my language spoken so well almost made me want to hug the man.

“My head hurts, but otherwise fine.”

“That’s good… Now, last night. Did Anthony… do anything to you?”

“Do anything to me? What are you talking about? I am Anthony!”

The tall man translated my statement and the three of them looked at each other hesitantly. Inspector Bedeau spoke up.

“I questioned Anthony before he left this morning. He said he didn’t see a girl last night, and Javier said he’d sold wine to the boy, but that when he was at Le Febre he was alone. Fact is, no one in town has seen an American girl of this age and she wasn’t part of that tour group,”

“Where is she from then? A girl this old doesn’t just walk out this far into the country on her own? You think maybe she took a train?” asked Inspector Facet.

They’re eyes were on me again. Questioning me, I realized every time I said my name was Anthony, I didn’t look very sane.

“I um… Why what happened that would make you think. Something… happened to me?” I asked. I was trying to get information, without backing down and saying I wasn’t Anthony.

“Monsieur Anthony left on the bus a half hour ago. We just wanted to make sure that you were all right so that we didn’t have to get the bus back here.”

My heart dropped and my stomach flipped. “I… left? But but, how can that be?” I felt my knees get weak, and I started to topple. Angélique caught me before I completely hit the ground.

“I don’t think she’s well, she’s been like this all day,” Angélique said. Inspector Facet plowed on.

“Where are you from Alouette?”

I let the name thing go, but still took a few deep breaths before answering. “ Lansing , Michigan .”

“What are you doing in France ?”

“Here to study.”

“How old are you?”

“22.”

That answer didn’t bode well. He explained to Angélique and Inspector Bedeau. They all looked at me like I’d told a bad joke.

“How old are you really?”

“What do you mean how old am I really? I’m 22.”

“Okay, you’re very close to being rated clinically insane. You are not 22, you are not a boy named Anthony. Do you want a mirror to confirm these facts?”

The word insane carried weight with it. I realized where this might go. I also realized how I must look telling them the things I was with the body I was in. I sulked my head. Time to make a story…

“Okay fine, my name is Alouette. I’m from Michigan , 15-years-old, and just woke up thinking it’d be fun to try and pull a joke on all of you.” I tacked on as much sarcasm as I could. Once again he translated and this time they looked a little relieved, but also a little more unhappy.

“Where is your family?”

“No family.”

“So you’re an orphan?”

“Sure, why not.”

“This is serious Alouette. You do realize you’re on your own right? There’s no one checked into any of these hotels that we haven’t already talked to today. There’s no other American that could plausible be from your family.”

“Looks like I’m up sh*ts creak huh?”

I could tell he was getting a little impatient with me, but somehow I didn’t care. They don’t want to believe the truth, so why not just be an ass in spite?

“Be serious. What the hell are you going to do?”

“Run away and join the circus.”

He looked about ready to slap cuffs on me. He turned to Angélique.

“Did you find any identification, any money, anything about this girl when you picked her up?”

“I don’t think she was wearing her own clothes. Her clothes were kind of big and didn’t have anything in the pockets.”

“You said she was drunk too, right?”

“Excessively.”

I was really starting to dislike my inability with the French language, it was like I was not part of the conversation that probably controlled a very important part of my immediate future. The three of them turned to me once more after they had conferred with each other.

“Where did you get wine last night?” Inspector Facet asked me.

“Le Febre viticoles.”

“Liar, I talked to Javier this morning. He said he only sold to Anthony, and more specifically that you weren’t with Anthony.”

“No, he sold wine to me, I can swear my life on that.”

“Javier is godfather to my son. He was in my grammar school with me. His word is bond.”

“Look, that’s where I got my wine. I’ve got a wicked headache now… Okay? No one is going to come for me, my bus left this morning, what do you want from me?”

“I don’t know what to do with this snobbish little American. She’s probably some sort of gypsy liar. Just roaming around saying whatever she can to cause trouble.”

“Want I should deport her to a juvenile center in Paris ?” Inspector Bedeau asked.

Angélique interjected. “No! She didn’t really do anything wrong. Think about it, she’s had a rougher time of it then you think. She’s got no one for her, and she was reduced to lies like these, don’t you feel as sorry for her as I do?”

“Perhaps you’re right, but what are we going to do with her?”

There was silence for a moment and I got a little uncomfortable. I think they thought I was absolutely crazy. To a point I didn’t blame them. I felt I should act quick.

“I uh… have amnesia. It happens… after having wine...”

Inspector Facet explained again, the other two looked a little more concerned now. They looked at me like my having wine that wiped my memory was much more digestible then me being a 22-year-old male.

Suddenly… I felt something bad. My lavender corduroys began to get a little clammy. Angélique looked on at me and her eyes bulged a little. I looked down and found a growing wet spot spread forth from my crotch. The two inspectors looked on and made a face like “ah, just as I thought.”

“She’s… well that’s the third time since I picked her up that she’s done that.”

Inspector Bedeau shook his head. “Poor girl… poor sick girl.”

“Would it be okay if I just took her to live with me for a little while?”

“I think that might be best,” commented Inspector Bedeau.

My eyes started to water as I suddenly felt like shrinking behind Angélique.

“Something tells me she’s been through a lot more then she wants to let on. Maybe she just needs a good home for a while.”

Inspector Facet smiled ruefully at me. “Do 22-year-olds wet themselves Alouette?”

I cried.

Hey Everyone,

Well my RPG artist lives in France . His name is Carotte and he does all those drawings that I put in my game. He liked this story, but noted many mistakes with my grasp of a few concepts. First “Viticoles” is not vineyards. Viticoles is used with words like regions and domains. It translates as “used for wine.” Vineyards would be “Vignobles.”

Second, Police in French is still Police (Thanks Cathy). Police in Spanish is Policia. Oooopps. Also, Rouen is a big town, about 1/10 the size of Paris . Sooo yeah, pretend it’s a little backwater town for now. Lastly, it’s also very important to note that there's no such thing as two century old wine, it would be very toxic. It also wouldn’t turn you into a girl, so suspend that one too.

Okay, so if anyone is still reading after all those errors, enjoy!

Sincerely,

CS Fox

PS: Snow day on campus, so I’m blessed with more time to finish this story =D