"Honey, I'm home," Helen said with a big grin as she opened the door.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me on the couch. She slammed the door,

dropped her coat and purse on the floor, and almost ran to the couch,

where she sat down next to me and took me in her arms. We kissed

passionately for awhile, then Helen slid her hand under my top and began

caressing my breasts and rolling my nipples. Before I knew it she had me

on my back on the couch, with her hand inside my panties, and a minute

later I had a long, soft orgasm. She sat me up at the end of the couch,

pulled off my panties, then knelt in front of me and began nibbling on

my clit. In no time I came twice more. After easing me down, Helen lay

down on the couch, resting her head in my lap. Looking up into my eyes,

she said, "How was your day?"

I wasn't going to tell Helen about the incident at the grocery, but as

soon as I opened my mouth the whole story poured out. While I was

telling it, she moved to a sitting position and took me in her arms. By

the time I finished the story, I was pretty agitated. She held me and

kissed me until I was calm again, and then we talked about it for a long

time. Nothing was resolved, I still didn't understand what had happened,

but we both agreed that something was wrong with my decision making

abilities.

We drank our wine while Helen told me about her day, including some of

the more interesting customers she had helped. Listening to her, I

couldn't imagine ever having the patience to do that kind of job. When

we had each finished our glass of wine, Helen said, "Let's get you

dressed. We're going out to dinner, and you're going to order for both

of us." I told her I wasn't sure about that, but she put her finger to

my lips and told me not to argue. I kissed her finger, then we went to

the bedroom and Helen dressed me.

We went downtown, to the same restaurant that William, Carrie, Helen and

I had gone to before Christmas. It was Monday night, so the restaurant

was mostly empty. Helen got us a table for two in a quiet corner. After

the waiter left us the wine list and menu, Helen got out of her chair.

"I'm going to freshen up," she told me. "When you're ready, I want you

to call the waiter and order some wine for us. Don't take too long, I'll

be back in about five minutes."

When Helen returned, I was still staring at the wine menu. She sat down

and took my hand. I was trying not to cry. "It's easy, you can do it,"

she said in a gentle voice. I looked at Helen's smiling face, then

looked back at the menu. A moment later, I signaled to our waiter, then

told him what kind of wine we wanted. After he left, Helen squeezed my

hand. I looked at her, and she told me I had made an excellent choice.

"Was it because you were here, or because of what you said, or what?" I

asked.

"I don't know," she said, "but we'll find out what it is, and we'll fix

it." I took her hand again, and told her I loved her.

We made small talk while we lingered over our wine. Helen took the last

sip of wine from her glass, then said, "You order for both of us. I'll

stay here with you, but I want you to make the decisions and do all the

talking. Whenever you're ready." I opened the menu and looked over all

of the dinner choices. I remembered what Helen's favorite was, so I

decided to order that for her. It took a little longer for myself, I

finally decided to try something I had never eaten before. After

attracting the waiter, I ordered the food and more wine.

When the waiter left, I looked at Helen. She said, "It looks like the

problem only occurs when you're alone." She thought for a few seconds,

then added, "Tomorrow, we'll see if I can help you through it over the

phone. This isn't a big deal, I promise you. We'll fix it." I believed

her.

The dinner was wonderful. We sampled from each other's plates, and even

fed each other a few bites when no one seemed to be looking. I couldn't

take my eyes off of Helen, until finally she said I was making her

self-conscious. I told her I loved her, and said I was sorry that I was

such a mess. She said we would straighten everything out, and asked me

to stop apologizing.

When we were ready to pay, Helen said she was going to leave me alone

again for a few minutes, and I had to decide which of my credit cards to

use. As soon as Helen left, I took out my three credit cards and looked

at them. I knew it didn't matter which card I used, but I couldn't pick

one. I felt the same fear in the pit of my stomach that I had felt at

the grocery earlier. When Helen returned, I was still staring at the

cards. She took my hand and told me everything was Ok, and that now we

knew for sure the problem happened when I was by myself. She told me to

try again. It was easy when I was with her, I chose the American Express

card.

As we drove home, Helen said she had an idea. She wanted me to call

William and ask for his permission to make decisions by myself. It was

an ingenious idea, and I suspected it might help, but I told her of my

fear that William and Carrie would pressure me to come back home if I

told them about the problem. Helen said there were other things we could

try first, but if they didn't work we might need to involve William.

When we got home, I asked Helen to sit on the couch with me, then I

swallowed hard and asked her if she thought I should get psychological

counseling. She looked at me, took both of my hands in hers, and said

she thought that was a good idea, and she'd be happy to go with me if I

thought it would help. I came close to telling Helen about my angry

outburst with Carrie before Christmas, another reason I was thinking

about therapy, but then I chickened out. I did tell her the main reason

I was reluctant to go to a therapist. I didn't want to talk to an

outsider about my captivity, which was the most likely cause of my

problems. I didn't mind talking about it with William and Carrie, or

with Helen, but I didn't think I could share it with a stranger.

I told Helen I wanted to think about therapy for awhile before deciding.

Then we talked more about my decision-making difficulties, and

eventually agreed on a few experiments I could perform, starting the

next day. Helen finally said we had talked enough about the problem for

awhile, then she slid over next to me on the couch and started

unbuttoning my blouse.

Over the next three days, Helen kept me busy during the day with tests,

experiments, or challenges, we called them all of those things.

Sometimes I did them alone, sometimes with Helen on the phone during her

breaks or lunch, and sometimes together with Helen after she got home

from work. Every day, I did better than the day before. We found out

that I didn't have a problem making decisions by myself if I already had

a preference. For example, I already knew some food brands that I liked,

because they were the brands we had used at Carrie's house. Those kinds

of choices were no problem for me. Where I had problems was when I had

no preferences, and no good reasons to pick one item over another. What

it came down to was that I had to find some criteria that would give me

a choice, even if there were no meaningful differences to go by. Helen

said I could use the attractiveness of the packaging, if there was no

other criteria. I never understood why those situations had become a

problem for me, but with Helen's guidance I gradually began to get past

it. By Thursday of that first week, I was feeling confident that I

wouldn't need to seek counseling, Helen was all the help I needed.

Some tests I still couldn't pass without help, things like choosing a

book at the library, or a rental movie, or picking out individual

vegetables, fruit, or meat at the grocery. Helen said we would work on

those situations until they were easy for me, and I had no doubt that

she was right.

Helen kept my challenges interesting, and she also gave me little jobs

to do every day, things she would have to do herself at lunch or after

work if she were still living alone, and I also tried to call or text

Carrie and William a couple of times a day. The days passed quickly for

me, and I never felt alone or lonely. But still I counted the final

minutes each afternoon, before Helen opened the door to our apartment

and returned to me. Our time together was wonderful, there's no other

way to describe it. It already seemed like we had been together all of

our lives, we were totally at ease in one another's company. Almost

unconsciously, we had both adopted the habit of being naked all the time

at home. The exception was, we would both put on some clothes a half

hour or so before bedtime, almost always some kind of lingerie or a

bikini, just so we could have the pleasure of undressing one another for

bed.

We all had agreed that William and Carrie would visit for the weekend,

and William had reluctantly agreed that they would stay with Helen and

I, not at a hotel. They came Friday morning, not long after I had

cleaned up the breakfast dishes and put a load of laundry in the washer.

After hugging and kissing, we tried sitting on the couch and chatting

like civilized people, but a few minutes later we were in bed in the

second bedroom, fucking our brains out. As much as I loved living alone

with Helen, I had missed William and Carrie tremendously, and it was

wonderful to be with them again, doing what we loved to do and did so

well together.

A few hours later, we were dressed and talking about lunch. I called the

teriyaki place and ordered take-out, then Carrie and I walked the few

blocks to pick up the food. When we returned to the apartment, William

was sprawled on the couch, watching a soap opera. He told Carrie they

should buy a TV, and I had to laugh at the nasty look she gave him. He

winked at me, and that made Carrie laugh, seeing that she had fallen

into the trap he set for her.

After lunch, we drove downtown to the dress shop where Helen worked.

There were only a few customers in the store, and Helen was talking to

her friend Anne. She saw us as soon as we came in, and she ran over to

us and gave each of us a big kiss. When Carrie said she needed to buy

some dresses, Helen said, "I appreciate all you've done, but you can't

keep buying clothes that you don't need."

"You're right," Carrie said. "My sister and I don't need that many

dresses, but I'm here to buy some clothes for a friend of mine. She has

to dress well for work, and I want to surprise her and buy her some

things for her birthday. It so happens you're exactly her size, so I

want you to pick out some nice dresses that fit you. I trust your

tastes, whatever you like, I'm sure my friend will like."

Helen wasn't buying it. "When is your friend's birthday?" she asked with

a grin.

Carrie looked at me, but I just shrugged. I didn't know Helen's

birthday, I hadn't thought to ask. "Sometime this year," Carrie answered

with a straight face.

Helen kept protesting, but Carrie insisted. Finally, after thanking

Carrie and giving her a kiss, Helen went off to pick out some dresses.

A moment later, as we were sitting down in the lounge area to wait, Anne

walked over and introduced herself as Helen's coworker and friend. "You

must be Helen's new roommate," she said to me. It was obvious that she

knew I was more than a roommate. I told her she was right, and

introduced myself, Carrie, and William. After the introductions, Anne

said, "I've been concerned about Helen, but I think I can stop worrying

now, she's happier than I've ever seen her. I don't think her feet have

touched the ground all week." Then she excused herself and went to help

a customer.

I looked over at William and Carrie, to see their reactions. "She seems

nice," was all Carrie said. William nodded in agreement.

Carrie bought six dresses for Helen, and they all looked gorgeous on

her. Carrie would have done more, but Helen refused, saying that she

couldn't let Carrie spend any more on her. "We have some money, and we

lead simple lives," Carrie said. "You're practically part of our family,

and we enjoy doing this for you." But Helen stood her ground, so finally

Carrie kissed her and said, "Anything you need or want, just let us

know."

After Carrie paid the bill, William asked Helen if she minded him making

dinner that evening. "Whatever you wish, Master," Helen said softly.

William took Helen's hand and said, "For this weekend, can I just be a

friend named Bill?"

Helen grinned. "An intimate friend?" she asked.

"I certainly hope so," Bill said.

"I'm looking forward to the weekend, Bill," Helen said. Blushing, she

looked at Carrie and said, "You must think I'm awful. What a little slut

I've become."

"We think you're wonderful, and we can't wait to get our hands on you,"

Carrie whispered to her.

When Helen came home from work, Carrie and I met her at the door. We

were both naked, and in a few seconds we had Helen in the same state. We

led her to the couch and had her sit down, then Carrie began massaging

her feet, while I worked the kinks out of her shoulders. Within a few

minutes, Helen was totally relaxed, leaning back with her eyes closed,

moaning and telling us how wonderful she felt. Bill had come into the

living room from the kitchen, and he quietly knelt between Helen's legs

and began softly blowing air on her pussy. She opened her eyes, smiled

at him, and then closed her eyes again. Bill began kissing and licking

her, and a few minutes later she had a small orgasm.

That set the tone for our weekend. It wasn't all sex, we spent time away

from the apartment on both Saturday and Sunday, and we went out to

dinner Saturday night. But nearly every minute we spent in the

apartment, when we weren't sleeping, was dedicated to sex, conversation,

or both. We fucked in every possible combination of two, three, and

four, and we did it all, with no inhibitions, and no feelings of

jealousy on my part. In fact, my strongest memory of that weekend is the

happiness I felt, sitting on the couch and watching the three people I

loved fucking on the floor. No one said the words, but we all knew that

we belonged together, it was just a matter of time until the details

were worked out.

Before we went to sleep Sunday night, Bill asked Helen if she would like

to try slavery again, the following weekend. "Yes," she said without

hesitation.

"Good," he said. "On Sunday, you and I will have our talk, and decide

where we go from here."

As Helen was leaving for work Monday morning, Bill took her in his arms

and gave her a big kiss. "We'll expect you and Char for dinner on Friday

night," he said. "Don't forget your collar." She gave him a big smile,

kissed each of us a final time, and then left.

A few hours after Helen left for work, I was nearly as happy to see

Carrie and William leave as I had been when they arrived. I took it as a

sign of my progress. I was re-learning how to structure my life, and I

enjoyed being on my own for part of each day, deciding minute-by-minute

what I should be doing. I wasn't really alone, of course, it was never

more than an hour or two between phone conversations with William and

Carrie or Helen. I took pride that my calls to or from Helen were

becoming less about some challenge I was having trouble with, and more

about how much we loved one another and looked forward to another

evening together.

The week seemed to fly by, before I knew it Friday had come. After

passing my final challenge of the week, a second attempt to check out a

book from the library, I treated myself to a greasy and totally

unhealthy lunch at a hamburger joint, then went home. Based on phone

conversations with William, we both knew what we were expected to wear,

and what we were expected to have in our suitcases, when we arrived for

our weekend of slavery. So, by two-thirty, I had packed for Helen and

myself, and had laid out the sexy clothes we would both wear. Naked, I

settled on the couch to read my hard-earned book and wait for Helen to

come home.

About four-thirty, my cell phone rang. It was Helen. "Char, I'm sorry,

I'm going to be late getting home tonight," she said.

"How late?" I asked. "You know we're supposed to be at Carrie's for

dinner. Why do you have to work late?"

"I'll be here until at least seven," she said. "We're doing inventory,

and it has to be finished by Monday. We've been busy with customers all

day, so we have to stay late and get it done. I'm sorry to mess things

up, but we can go to Carrie's late, or first thing tomorrow morning."

She paused, but I didn't say anything. Helen said, "Char, please don't

be angry with me, I really can't help it. Do you want me to call William

and explain that it's my fault that we won't be there for dinner? I'm

sure he'll understand."

"I'll call them," I said, unable to hide the annoyance I felt.

After a pause, Helen said, "The sooner I get back to work, the sooner

I'll be home. I love you, Char. Goodbye."

"Bye," I said, then disconnected. I immediately regretted not telling

her I loved her. I shouldn't have let the situation frustrate me, it

clearly wasn't Helen's fault. I pushed the speed dial number for William

and Carrie, and Carrie answered on the first ring.

"Which of my two wonderful sisters is calling?" were her first words.

"Me," I said. "Helen has to work late, we won't be able to make it for

dinner. I'm so sorry, there's nothing I can do about it."

"You sound upset, is anything else wrong?" Carrie asked. I said that was

the only thing. "That's not serious, Char, don't let it upset you like

this. Does Helen know when she'll be home?" I told her seven. "Well,

come when you can. Do you want us to hold dinner for you?" I said No.

"Char, I want you to relax. I'm afraid you're getting upset, and this

really isn't a problem," Carrie told me, then she said something to

William.

"What's wrong, Beautiful?" William asked me. I explained the whole thing

to him. "That's Ok," he said. "Helen has to do what her job requires.

She doesn't have the freedom we do, to do whatever she wants whenever

she wants. You need to make allowances for that, Ok?" I told him I

understood, then he said we should come to their house whenever we

could. We chatted for awhile about other things, then Carrie came back

on the line and talked to me for awhile, then we hung up.

I was still annoyed. I kept repeating to myself what William and Carrie

had said, that it wasn't a problem and it wasn't Helen's fault, but I

couldn't let it go. Finally I opened a bottle of wine and poured myself

a glass. After a few swallows of wine, I started to relax a little. I

went back to reading my book and taking occasional sips of wine.

At about six-thirty, I put on the clothes I had planned to wear, a short

skirt and sheer blouse that met William's dress requirements. Then I

made a few sandwiches, thinking Helen and I could eat them in the car,

while we were on the road. Having done all I could to get ready, I went

back to my book.

Helen got home a little after seven, looking very unhappy. I took her in

my arms and apologized for getting upset with her. I told her I had made

sandwiches, and said that we could leave as soon as she was dressed.

Barely above a whisper, Helen said, "I can't go, I have to work

tomorrow."

I dropped my hands to my sides and took a step back. "Why?" I asked.

Helen could see that I was angry, she held her hands out to me, pleading

with her eyes. When I stood my ground, she lowered her hands slowly.

Helen said, "We still have about three hours of work, to finish the

inventory. I wanted to stay and finish tonight, but Anne and Peggy both

have kids, they had to get home and make dinner." She reached out her

hands again. "Char, I'm sorry," she said softly.

Again I refused to take her hands, but I didn't yet realize how upset I

was getting. If I had, I would have gotten out of the apartment and away

from Helen right then. "You don't even need that job, I'll take care of

you," I said. "Let's just get in the car and go to Carrie's. Call them

tomorrow, tell them you're sick, or you quit, or whatever you want to

tell them. Let's just go!"

"I can't do that, Char," Helen said calmly. "Until William and I have

our talk and reach an agreement, I don't know if I want to quit my job.

I like what I do, I like meeting people and helping them. And I can't

desert my coworkers like that. Please, Char, try to understand. We can

go to Carrie's tomorrow afternoon, or put it off until next weekend. I'm

sure William and Carrie will understand, I'll call them right now and

explain it to them."

She reached for the cell phone, laying on the coffee table, but I

grabbed it first. I said, "You don't want to go to William and Carrie's

do you? That's what this is all about, you don't want to go. Why didn't

you just say so?"

I saw a little fear in Helen's eyes then. She was beginning to realize

that I was more than upset. I was becoming irrational. Still speaking

calmly, Helen said, "Char, you need to calm down. I'm telling you the

truth. We're in the middle of doing an inventory, it has to be finished

by Monday, and I have to go in tomorrow morning to help finish it.

That's the whole story, I swear to God. I didn't plan this, and I'm

sorry that I didn't foresee it, but it's not my fault." She reached out

her hand. "Please let me have the phone, and I'll call and explain it to

William. I'm sure he'll understand."

I wasn't about to let her have the phone, and as soon as I realized

that, I knew I was in big trouble. "I have to get out of here," I said,

as I headed for the bedroom to get my coat.

Helen followed me down the hallway. Halfway to our bedroom, she tried to

take my arm and stop me. "Please, Char, we have to talk this out, don't

leave me like this." When she grabbed my upper arm, I turned around and

swung at her, hitting her on the side of her face. It wasn't just a

slap, I hit her with my fist.

It makes me sick to my stomach even now, three years later, remembering

this. Helen put her hand to her face, bent over in pain, and turned away

from me. Feeling the vomit rising in my throat, I lunged into the

bathroom. I couldn't make it to the toilet, instead I puked all over the

tile floor of the bathroom.

My brain was all but shut down, I couldn't deal with the horror of what

I had done. All I could think of was that I had to clean up the mess I

had made on the floor. On my knees, I started scooping up the vomit in

my hands and dropping it into the toilet bowl. After most of it was off

the floor, I wet a hand towel under the faucet and mopped up the floor

with it, then rinsed the towel off and tossed it into the hamper.

By the time I finished in the bathroom, my mind was starting to function

again, and I thought about dying. I had thought about suicide many times

during my captivity, as a method of escape. Now I thought about it as a

method of punishment, what I deserved for the horrible thing I had done.

But as much as I deserved it, I knew I wouldn't kill myself, I had

realized long ago that I would never have the guts to actually do that.

I looked down the hall and saw Helen in the living room, sitting on the

couch. She was hunched over, with her elbows on her knees and a hand to

her face, crying. I went into the bedroom, closed and locked the door,

and punched the cell phone speed dial key for Carrie.

William answered. "What's up? Where are you?" he asked in a cheerful

voice.

"You have to come and get me, I can't stay here any more," I said.

"We're on our way, tell me what's wrong," he said, then I heard him

yelling something to Carrie, away from the phone.

"I got angry. I lost control and hit Helen. I think I hurt her."

"Is she all right, Char?" he asked. I could hear he and Carrie talking

in the background, it sounded like they were trying to get dressed while

he talked to me.

"I don't know. She's sitting on the couch, crying. I locked myself in

the bedroom, I can't be around her any more. I can't hurt her any more.

Please come and get me, I have to get away from here."

I heard William and Carrie talking some more, then Carrie took the

phone. "Char, Sweetie, I want you to give Helen the phone, so I can talk

to her. I need to know if she needs medical attention."

"I'm not leaving the bedroom until you get here," I said. "Call her on

her phone." I gave Carrie the number, she told me they were coming as

fast as they could, and then she hung up. A moment later I heard the

phone ring in the living room. I sat on the bed to wait.

About fifteen minutes later, there was a soft knock at the bedroom door.

"Char, may I please come in and talk?" Helen asked.

"No," I said. "Helen, there's something wrong with me. I can't stay

here, it's not safe for you. I'm so very, very sorry I hit you, I lost

control. I have to leave."

"Char, I know you didn't mean to hurt me," she said. "You don't have to

leave, we have to keep trying. We'll get you into counseling. I'll go

with you. Carrie and William will, too."

"Keep trying?" I said. "I'll hit you again, you'll forgive me again,

then you'll be a battered woman, and I'll be your batterer. I'll die

before I let that happen."

Helen kept knocking on the door every once in awhile, but I stopped

talking to her. Eventually, there was a different knock. "Open up,

Sweetie," Carrie said.

Opening the door a crack, I saw that Carrie was alone on the other side.

I opened the door, and she came into the room and took me in her arms.

We held each other for a long time, then she said, "Was it like with me,

in the bathroom?"

I said, "Yes. I was trying to get away, but she grabbed my arm. Before I

even knew what was happening, I lashed out at her. Is she all right?"

"Her face is swollen, I think she's going to have a black eye," Carrie

said. "What do you want to do?"

"Curl up in a ball and die."

Carrie hugged me tight. "That's not allowed, what else?"

"I can't stay here. Can I please come home?" I asked.

"Of course you can," Carrie said. "I'm going to stay with Helen tonight,

to make sure she's Ok. William will take you home. Do you want to say

anything to Helen before you leave?"

I dreaded seeing her, but I had to at least apologize face to face

before I left. I walked into the living room behind Carrie. William was

sitting on the couch beside Helen, holding her hand. When she saw me she

stood and walked toward me. I tried to keep Carrie between us, but she

stepped out of the way. I wanted to vomit again when I looked at Helen's

swollen face, but there was nothing left in my stomach to come up. She

held out her hands, and I took them in mine. "I'm so sorry," was all I

could say.

"Stay with me, we'll work it out, we'll get help," Helen said.

"I can't," I said. "We can't be together any more, you know that." I let

go of Helen's hands and stood looking at her. "I'll always love you," I

said. She started crying, and I asked William to take me home.