This little story reveals a little more about the FHMC Respiratory Research Institute, as seen through the experiences of Nurse Maggie during an unusual event.... Maggie stole endotracheal tubes from the Respiratory Research Institute fairly regularly, taking them home for her erotic pleasure. She started intubating herself after witnessing several research volunteers intubate themselves for studies at the instutute. Maggie had been lucky, she had never been caught. Today that would all change. Having pocketed a 7mm ivory silicone tube, she went home for her 3-day weekend. "That should give me plenty of time to lose my hoarseness", she thought to herself. She would sometimes be hoarse after her sessions, returning to work complaining about her smoking even though she didn't. Laying out her tube and supplies on the bathroom counter, she prepared her sybian on the bed along with her blue ambu bag and got undressed. In the bathroom she slid the stylette into the tube, curved it to shape and lubed it up carefully. Attaching the cuff syringe she inflated and deflated the cuff without trouble. Her sex was getting very wet, her breath panting with the adrenaline rush as she lifted the tube to her lips. Passing over her tongue she slipped the tube into her larynx, and withdrew the stylette leaving the tube poised over her vocal cords. Gently trying not to cough, she advanced the tube into her trachea, the cuff tickling her vocal cords as it passed. As the cuff passed her cords by a small distance she inflated the cuff to seal her airway, now totally breathing through the tube protruding between her lips. Maggie taped her tube to her lips and cheek, always using an abundance of tape so she couldn't dislodge the tube accidentally during a coughing fit. She held her face in her hands, admiring the odd aesthetics of her intubated reflection. Breathing exaggeratedly, her breasts rose and fell on her chest, shaking She strode carefully into her bedroom where she straddled her sybian, not yet plunging its attached dildo into her very ready vagina. Maggie attached her ambu bag to her endotracheal tube and relaxed her breathing, having trained herself to let the bag take over the effort of her breathing. Her well-practiced hands gave herself several big breaths, her nipples rising as her forearms rubbed them from their bagging position. She had some nipple clamps and made use of them, careful not to inhale as her hands went about the business of teasing her nipples into the clamps. Her ham-sized sybian responded to her activating its switch, vibrating as no other sex toy can. Its top-mounted dildo slid into her sex as she breathed herself full from the ambu bag. Maggie let herself settle on the sybian until her clitoris rested on its upholstered saddle, taking in the full effect of its vibrations. Her screams of ecstacy went unheard, the tube blocking all sound but the hum of the sybian and the huff-hiss of the ambu bag's valves. For some 15 minutes she came several times until she was just too tired to continue, collapsing to the side of the bed, disconnecting the ambu bag and breathing as best she could through her tube. Maggie lay there, trying not to pass out from the exhaustion and endorphins now coursing through her from her orgasmic experiences. Turning off the sybian and releasing the nipple clips, she finally rose to extubate herself in the bathroom. She carefully removed the tape from her face, attached the syringe, pulled the plunger back and- nothing happened. Her tube's cuff stayed inflated! "Oh, shit", she thought as she repeated the drill several times, all without success. "Now what," she contemplated as she pissed in the toilet, wiped her wetness away and flushing. Trying to remove the tube with the cuff inflated, she couldn't stand the discomfort and somehow got it back down where it was before. There was only one thing she could think of: get to the institute and hope they can do something Maggie retaped her tube, got dressed, coughed up as much secretions as she could and walked out to her car with the collar of a coat covering her lower face. She purposefully walked, trying not to look at anybody in the process. In her car, she started it up, backed out and left for the institute. She thought of holding a cell phone to her face, between her tube and the nearest car to disguise her uncommon appearance. "I never get this many red lights," Maggie thought as she seemed to get stopped at every one. Her cell phone strategy worked, she never got a second glance from the self-absorbed travelers. Maggie did have a few coughing fits, spattering her dash with spittle from her tube. 20 minutes later, a very embarrased Maggie took the employee's entrance and marched as fast as she could to the emergency department. "Oh hello Maggie!" The ED desk nurse recognized Maggie as she approached and dropped her coat collar, scribbling on a pad "Cuff won't deflate!!" Wide mouthed, the nurse took a few seconds to compose herself, then said "go to room three, I'll call someone." Maggie walked in and took a seat on a stool. Nurse Helen came in right behind her, "hop up on the bed, dear, I'll suction you." Helen gave Maggie several good breaths with an ambu bag and oxygen, then suctioned her tube. "Are you getting tired? I could hook you to a vent if you need some rest," Helen said. Maggie shook her head no, then Helen started the ventilator anyway. "You look tired, let me hook you up and we'll see how you do with it," and snapped the vent's connector to Maggie's tube. Maggie felt the machine start forcing air into her, and decided to let it do its job. Helen helped Maggie get her coat off, and removed Maggie's top revealing her breasts. Helen then put on her steth and listened to Maggie's breath sounds as the vent filled her lungs with a hiss of oxygenated air then let Maggie exhale after she got a full breath. "You sound OK, let's let you relax for a few minutes then we'll try to extubate you." Giving her a blanket to cover her naked breasts, Helen went to the desk to inquire about what to do next. Maggie could only wait, covering her torso but leaving her arms out of the blanket, she folded her hands over her stomach and drifted off into a twilight sleep. She was tired from trying to breathe through her tube. The vent helped, gently but insistently blowing her chest up, then releasing it to fall under it's own weight. Her nipples were erect, rubbing against the blanket's weave with the forced breath. Maggie's situation was called to attention of her floor at the institute, and soon 3 of her coworkers were at her bedside, chatting to cheer her up but oddly not chiding her about her strange circumstance. Instead, they started talking about their own intubated experiences. Maggie was stunned! She didn't get to hear too much, because the nurses were asked to leave as the physician entered to examine her. Not just any physician though; it was Institute Director Dr. Skogga. "I understand you have a stuck tube," Skogga said as he examined Maggie's cuff inflation valve. "First I need to see if you're ready to have that tube out. How long have you been intubated?" Maggie wrote on a pad: "about 2 hours." "Okay, you were tired when you arrived according to nurse Helen, let's see how you do breathing on your own," as Dr. Skogga let Maggie breathe through the vent without assisted respirations. Dr. Skogga lowered the blanket, exposing her chest and put his steth on. He listened to her chest, first over her trachea, then on the side of her breasts, high and low. Then he had her sit up and take deep breaths through her tube as he listened on her back and below her hanging breasts. Maggie tried to be calm and breathe as instructed, feeling a bit embarrased as she shuddered with every breath. The vent's tubes hung from Maggie's endotracheal tube, swinging slightly as she breathed through them with some effort. Watching the machine's readings, he turned it back on and set the oxygen to normal and let Maggie lie down. "Okay it's your call, I can extubate you shortly if you feel you can breathe well enough on your own. I'll have to admit you overnight, if you do have problems we would have to reintubate you," Skogga said. Maggie nodded affirmatively and pulled the blanket back over herself. Dr.Skogga said "I'll need to get some equipment sent down, this may be a while. Try to relax, I'll have nurse Helen keep an eye on you." Maggie was left alone, listening to her ventilator huffing as it breathed for her and watching the exhalation volume canister rise as she emptied her lungs. Nurse Helen came in to check on her charge. "Are you doing all right? Dr. Skogga is waiting for a bronchoscope to be delivered, it shouldn't be too long." Maggie scribbled "need to use bathroom." Helen said "do you want to walk to the toilet or should I use a cath?" Maggie decided to get up and walk. Helen grabbed an ambu bag, paused the vent and disconnected Maggie. She got up and walked to the door, Dr. Skogga asked where she was going. "She needs to urinate." Nodding, the girls walked the short distance to the staff lounge. Maggie saw a few other nurses there, including her supervisor. Quickly doing her business, she went back to her room and was reconnected to the vent by Helen who had never A few minutes later her supervisor, Madeline, came in to talk to her. "I just heard about your situation, I'm sorry." Maggie thought "Well here it comes. I better get my resume together." Madeline continued, "This has happened so rarely, just lucky it was staff and not a patient. Did that tube come from central supply or did you purchase it directly?" Maggie teared up, and wrote "I stole it from the 3rd floor." Madeline looked shocked, then relieved, smiling she said "you're kinda new here, maybe you don't know about the employee purchasing plan. You know how you can special order things like powder-free gloves and scrubs from CSR?" Maggie nodded. "Well, you can get other things from there as well. Our institute is unique, we believe that the best way to learn and appreciate our patient's and volunteer's situation is to experience the same things they go through. So the director's allow us to purchase up to $50 worth of supplies a month, any more than that gets deducted from payroll. You can even rent a ventilator if you want and its available." Maggie felt bad for having stolen her tubes, and mad at herself for not having read her employee handbook better. Madeline continued, "you just need to go to CSR after you're better and sign off for anything you have made off with. Consider this a learning experience. Lots of us have tried out the equipment here, and have gotten better at our skills for it. I personally don't like being intubated, but I did try it once for a few hours to learn more about ventilators. Some of our staff intubate themselves a lot, and have the highest success rate for patient intubations as a result. You don't need to feel unsure of your position here, we want to keep you on." Maggie smiled beneath her taped lips, blotting her tears. Dr.Skogga and Nurse Helen came in, holding a tray. "Madeline, could you help me suction her," Helen asked. "I'd love to!" The vent was set for 100 percent oxygen, ran for a minute then Maggie was given several big breaths of oxygen from the vent. Helen uncovered Maggie's breasts, and disconnected her as Madeline passed the suction catheter down Maggie's tube. Maggie coughed from the suctioning, but gained a little knowledge of how it feels to a patient, just like Madeline said. Madeline finished by suctioning Maggie's mouth as Helen gave her breaths from an ambu bag. Dr Skogga listened to Maggie's lungs as Helen pumped her full. "Okay, let's get that tube out." Skogga sprayed an anesthetic into Maggie's nose, and once numbed, passed the thin fiberoptic tube through her nostril. Maggie felt it pass into her larynx, trying not to cough as the tip pushed its way through her vocal cords. "Untape her and get ready, I'm deflating the cuff," Skogga said as Helen held Maggie's tube and Madeline removed the tape. "Ready doctor," then Skogga punctured the tube's cuff and suctioned out the air using the scope's tools. He withdrew the scope, and Helen tugged on the tube. Maggie gagged, then gasped as the tube left her throat, leaving her to breathe on her own after many hours of unintended breath restriction. Quickly a humidified air mask was strapped to her face, and another check of her breathing by Dr. Skogga indicated she should be alright to move to a room soon. Maggie silently mouthed "thank you" to Dr. Skogga as he left. Madeline and Helem held Maggie's hands and spoke reassurances that all was OK with them over her experiences and looked forward to her quick return t