This is not fiction. This is a very real account of the early part of my last semester in Mount Anthony Union High School, in mid 2001.

I had been wearing diapers on and off since the early eleventh grade. But the senior year I was so desperate to have the changing experience. I wanted to be taken care of, to be cleaned up after messing. During one afternoon when classes were delayed because of nasty weather, I was hanging around in the school when the idea hit me. I was going to mess myself, then go to the nurse and act like it was an accident. I'd play it up like it was an accident, look embarrassed and scared, etc.

The only thing motivating me to pull it off was that I had just turned eighteen. So as an adult the nurse could not tell my mother anything, or it would be a violation of my privacy and my rights as an adult.

Before I go any further, let me clarify something. Yes, I know what I did was stupid. I know I could have gotten into a lot of trouble. So if you feel the need to lecture me, you know where the back button is. Anyway, I didn't go through with it that day. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I finally worked up the courage to pull it off. After class, I started for the nurse's office office with a big bowel movement ready to go. And when I stood right outside the door, I pushed and filled my pants.

By the way, messing yourself in boxers is not a good idea.

So, as I said, I played it up. The nurse was concerned. She told me to turn around so she could see how bad it was and pointed out the spots on my clothes where I peed. It was awesome, having that attention.

But I cleaned myself up in the bathroom. The very next morning, I stopped at a medical supply store and bought a package of Depends. Then I brought them into the nurse's office where the same nurse was waiting, and we talked about them. I had told her I was having "problems" like this all the time and that I felt I should start wearing them.

"Do you know how to put them on?" She asked.

Of course I did. But damned if I was going to tell her that. So I sheepishly said no and she pulled one out of the package.

She didn't put it on me. But she did show me how to do it, going so far as to position he diaper between my legs so that I could "see" what it was supposed to look like. Then when I had put it on in the bathroom, she had me lower my pants to see that I had done it right. Initially she agreed to help me clean up if I had another accident. And I did have an "accident" during lunch. In a crowded school I might add. Unfortunately the nurse's office was so packed that she asked me to clean myself up.

Then later that day, she remembered that if someone found out about it, she could get in trouble.

Alas, my dreams of being changed by someone else were to remain unfullfilled.