@Silent said, '@Ms_Lila could you say a little more about this? I see that, somewhere you told of having multiple sex partners, male and female. How do you decide who or how many? Do they have to be other couples and why or why not?'
@Silent it's a bit complicated, but my husband and I prefer other couples but after a while it came down to liking or caring for the person we had sex with. As I'm sure you have experienced, your wife may know a couple that she likes but that you aren't real keen on and vice versa. My husband and I are lucky enough to have made intimate friends with couples we have known for some time and we enjoy both of them. As I said before, I'm bi-sexual or heteroflexible, which is technically homosexual. But I think that the term homosexual is more associated with someone who prefers members of their own sex to the exclusion of the opposite sex. At least that is how I have understood the 'label'. So if I adhere to my understanding of the term, I believe I would identify more with bi-sexual or heteroflexible.
As time goes on, my husband and I have come to the realization that we aren't always going to be able to enjoy the same couples at the same time or in the same context. My husband is strictly heterosexual and has to do a great deal of travel, and always has. As I have said earlier, of the two of us, I by far am the whore and have more sexual partners than my husband who tends to be more 'prone' to needing an emotional attachment to 'do the deed'. If I let myself go, I'm afraid that I would be far more promiscuous and not require much more than my liking them or finding them interesting.
What keeps me in check is that I adore my husband and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. It's not an effort on my part to feel this for the man I married and got me pregnant just about every time he looked at me at the start. He's a fertile turtle and I'm a fertile Myrtle, or was. In all seriousness @Silent if either of us were to revert to our being exclusive with each other I would be happy.
In this area and time of our life, of my life, @Silent I pick my sexual partners because of the way they make me feel as a friend. I deeply care about those I have sex with and although I do have or have had several sexual partners, there are only two men that have total access to me at their will. A third dear man also has this with me but the loss of his wife and my dear friend, has had an impact on us, and time will tell whether he wishes to continue. In the meantime, I am his friend first and foremost.
My husband is of course my 'main man' and there is no debate or qualifier for him. When he's about, it's not something I have to think about as to me serving him where, when, and how he wants me. And I am his at his whim and will. He is the reason, my rock, that makes me feel secure enough to 'sexplore' and the one I crave his approval. When all is said and done, he is what makes home, home for me. He's the one that I want to perfect what I learn outside of our marriage and make it work for us and only us. He's the only one who I become his 'pocket porn star' via good old Verizon. The 'selfie stick' is just as naughty as it sounds when I'm with my husband.
EB is another man that has total access to me when we can. He gives me insight into the mind of a man and I do 'rehearse' what it is I want to build on with my husband. He's the friend I can ask questions about men and marriage and not be afraid that he will take it wrong because I was inept in how I phrased something. He is older than I am and someone who helps me make sense of questions I have about you men and his and my mutual friends.
BUT VERY IMPORTANTLY @Silent every man or woman that I have sex with, my husband also has sex with, whether or not it is in person. And every woman he has sex with, I have sex with. I have no secrets. It has everything to do with our health and is extremely important. It is also a reality check for the pair of us and so very real. My husband knows everyone I have sex with and I know all his sex partners. It's important from a medical standpoint, but also important to our marriage as we now have with each other. Every single sex partner we have had, separately or together, eventually ends up in our bed in a very real sense.
That man you asked about @Silent is younger than I am and is also a friend. He is welcome in me and I believe I am one of the first to know of his enemas. He is someone I enjoy and in a lot of ways he is 'older' than his age. But he is still learning.