I have a picture in my mind that I am simply not able to decide if it is a fantacy, a real memory, or some blending thereoff.
I imagine myself as a14 year old boy, placed in an intensive care unit, but without being seriously ill. I have a catheter going into my penis and some cylinrical device placed high up between my legs. From that device also goes a tube into my anus. From the device there also goes a tube up to some sort of machine at the side of the bed. I also imaging being intubated and getting artificial ventilation. I have a variant of the imagination where there is just a tube going into my anus without the cylindrical device.
These tubes cause very strange sensations, but not real pain, and I have the psychological impression that they take care of me. But I am heavily drugged, so that I am not able to think very much about it.
When I was 14 year old my ftather took me downtown to a clinic where I underwent a lengthy examination. But i do not explicitly remember what was done, probably because I had got some anesthesia. I remember very well the bginning and end, but not that between.
Maybe that imagination is a memory from that exam, and that they were monitoring my bodily functions some hours, and maybe parts of it is from some event when I was only 4-6 year old. The cylindrical device is in that case something remembered from that early time, because it steadily cropped up in my mind before I was 14 years old.