Assertive and dominant females

@gwhap said

You should give a class on how sexually deprived men should approach their significant other!!! Might add trying to create a little romance. We used to go out for dinner a lot - now it's occasional takeout. Still, we dim the lights, put a white tablecloth on the table, some nice soft music, couple of candles and a good bottle of wine.I would take "laying on guilt" out of the course curriculum. My boat anchor would dig her heals in and become defiant if I used that approach on her!!! Even now if I complain about her being too needy and everything I do for her I get "the look".... so I don't go there anymore!

Are you saying all these things should be ignored by my husband:

If the discussions on the above topics didn't bring positive results for him, he would put on his business negotiating hat.....and the sparks.....would begin.....to emerge. Laying on guilt is always good when one person is generous and giving. He would start listing all the things he has done for me. Nice house, fast cars, expensive toys, easy life, nice clothes, jewelry, vacations, help in the home, musical instruments, great family life, being well taken care of emotionally and financially, telling how he loves me, having great daughters (in actual discussions he has stated that he supplied very high quality genetic material which I will not deny), and giving me just about anything I ever wanted.

There comes a point in a discussion where being nice and fair comes to an end; and on a topic that is approaching and stand-off, I have seen and heard him in action and over-heard him on the phone with people, he doesn't like to lose, he DOES get his way and after he is through dragging you through the wringer, you will actually thank him for it. That is why I said

One way or another, my husband would beat me into submission. He's bigger, stronger and faster with a retort than I am. Why should I ever deny him sex?

There are men who need female domination. It's good if they find a woman who can give it to them. Once I was talking to a man I knew. He said that since his wife used domination and corporal punishment on him, their marriage was better. Earlier, when he did something wrong, his wife was angry with him, she was offended for a long time. Now she punishes him and then forgives him.

Not in any type of a dom/sub relationship - BUT, depending on the mood and/or situation, either of us could “take control” In the bedroom…or kitchen…or wherever. In a sexual situation, we really never denied the other - but if I or my wife was the one that really wanted it and the other was a bit so-so - then the one who wanted it took control and made sure they got what they wanted. Actually, it was a win-win situation.

Not in any type of a dom/sub relationship - BUT, depending on the mood and/or situation, either of us could “take control” In the bedroom…or kitchen…or wherever. In a sexual situation, we really never denied the other - but if I or my wife was the one that really wanted it and the other was a bit so-so - then the one who wanted it took control and made sure they got what they wanted. Actually, it was a win-win situation.

@Rigel,

Just clarify - please pardon my occasional (or more…….) cognitive difficulties with some simple things obvious to others. In this note @Rigel did

“…….but if I or my wife was the one that really wanted it and the other was a bit so-so………”

mean wanted to be dominant that session? Thanks,

Eric

@ericmacson I was referring to who was the aggressor. Not so much dominant but “taking charge”. Example: I or my wife wanted to be anally invaded - we would show the other a toy and tell her (or me) to use it. The one getting invaded was definitely in charge. Other times it was the other way around. “I want your ass - and I’m going to have it!” “I want you NOW!” was never ignored. 😈

Dont know if that’s a good answer, but it’s how we interacted.

Theyre called Scottish women…been around for years.

@ericmacson I was referring to who was the aggressor. Not so much dominant but “taking charge”. Example: I or my wife wanted to be anally invaded - we would show the other a toy and tell her (or me) to use it. The one getting invaded was definitely in charge. Other times it was the other way around. “I want your ass - and I’m going to have it!”

Don't know if that’s a good answer, but it’s how we interacted.

@Rigel,

Thanks. It’s an excellent answer, actually somewhat more nuanced than my brain was understanding. That’s why I asked - because I wanted to be sure since you’re a friend, but also because this issue of dominance is very interesting to me with both myself and several recent exes being switches. We both loved her as the Domme giving me enemas mixed with our other kinks. I loved being a very submissive and helpless enema receptacle! However, my 2nd ex-wife told me after the wedding a few months that her most closely-guarded sexual secret was that she was dying to be sexually submissive some of the time with her husband dominantly giving her enemas. We both loved it either way.

I have another related topic or issue concerning Assertive or Dominant Females which I’ll try to organize into another post here soon if I can write it understandably enough.

Eric