Most of this summer vacation, our children are gone to their grandparents. My wife seized the opportunity to establish some little rituals, thinking they may help with my general nervousness. Let's share our story.
Normal bed-time is 9PM. At that time my wife sits on the bed with equipment ready next to her: a glass thermometer, vaseline, kleenex, her cell phone, and possibly other. I lay across her lap and the inserts the thermometer. Then come questions about my day, covering professional, personal and health issues (from whether I had a hard time with colleagues to my bowel movements). This is the opportunity to discuss matters while the thermometer registers. She leaves at least 3 minutes and anyway keeps the thermometer in as long as the discussion is not over.
Then the thermometer is withdrawn, read, and wiped; my wife records my temperature in her phone. The spanking begins. If I've been good, it's rather a patting and petting of my rear end and tickling of my perineal area. If I've been really bad, I get the hairbrush long and hard, until my whole butt is red. A hand spanking works for intermediate cases.
There have been variations. A couple of times the hairbrush was already ready when I laid across her lap. Once I had to fetch it and go back into position. Once she took me to the living room for a spanking on a chair.
If I'm nervous or I have stomach issues, I get an enema.
In the morning, we have less time. When I wake up she asks me to roll on the side, and then slips an electronic thermometer with jelly as lubricant. The temperature is still recorded.