It's Mashie, and I am back!
I know this is not the place exactly for this post but I wanted to make sure it was visible to everyone here and not limited to our elite members. With that being said, I did spend some time in crazy town for a few weeks, so this is why I am placing this post here.
To start with, I want to thank everyone for their prayers, support, love, friendship and so forth while I was so sick. I have started to call it while I was "sleeping" actually. I have almost no memories from the past 2-3 months. I do know that Doc did a great job at keeping all of you updated as to what was going on. All of you will never know how much I so greatly appreciated everything you did. I will never be able to thank you enough either. I could have easily died twice and I guess I even asked Doc to just let me die because it would be easier. I know now that my brain is starting to put the pieces of when I was "sleeping" back together that it was, aside from his love and support that it was the many members of this board, as well as my love for this site that gave me some of the drive I needed to fight back and keep death at a distance. It really made me open my eyes for sure.
Things are making sense that I didn't realize. If I had to guess I would say that I have really been sick since my bout of colitis back in October. It was then I started having a lot of issues being able to eat and drink. I went from 248 to 114 when I went to rehab to recover. I am 45 with a large frame and 5'4". 114 is not at all appropriate. More on that later.
I went up to NY for my kidney surgery which went flawlessly actually. That was a Tuesday. They called me on Friday and said they were going to pull the stent the following Friday. I tried to go home because I didn't want to pay for a hotel that long. I stayed at Doc's for a few days after my kidney surgery to recover. I drove 30 minutes to go home and stopped for gas. I got out of the van and almost fell over. I knew something was seriously wrong. I ended up back at the hotel until Doc discovered I was there and still in town, lol. He said he had a feeling that I didn't leave. He convinced me to go back to his house, which I did. I just started feeling more and more tired and my belly just wouldn't let me eat anything.
A few days later I started getting sick. What started out being white, yellow, and foamy from gastritis ended up being a very dark brown. I can tell you as a nurse this isn't a good thing especially in a patient who really hasn't eating anything in months. As gross as this is, I was vomiting actually bowl, yes, shit. This also isn't a good thing. I was getting IM Zofran and it wasn't helping. Doc insisted I go to the ER which I refused. Finally one morning, I believe it was a Wednesday actually Doc and his wife drug me out of the house and Doc took me to the ER. I have no memory of this much.
Once there labs were done and what not. They tested me for everything including sepsis which is a serious infection. If that lab value reaches 2.0 you are septic. Mine was sitting at 1.8. Sepsis is serious and patients often die if it isn't caught and treated in time, and even then, if you have a patient that is already compromised as I was they don't often pull out of it. Had Doc and his wife waited another day, my story could have been very different than it is today. I have had H1N1 before as well as Scarlet Fever and I was sicker than I had ever been. Apparently I vomited on Doc more than once. Again, I don't remember that, but I have had it done to me lots, but never from a patient puking up actual shit, lol. Somehow he still loves me. He would even get up in the middle of the night with me when I was getting sick and take care of me. God love my studly hunk of man meat.
The rest of my ER time is a blank and so is the rest of that day but apparently Doc and the nurses had to use a slide board to transfer me to the hospital bed. They also carried me to the bathroom. The only thing I can remember is that Doc was there all day. I have been dating him for almost 9 years now and he has only called in sick to his own practice maybe 3 times that I know of, one of which was this time. He wasn't going to leave me until he knew I was going to be safe. He made sure the entire hospital knew he was in charge, I was a VIP and that they had better take care of me lol, and they did. Everyday I had the head doctors of their respective departments, the next person down and their NP's in there. At one point one of the hospital administrators actually paid me a visit.
I was not in my right mind by any means. Apparently I punched the head of internal medicine. In all fairness everyone knew I was a nurse and we can be cranky patients. Also he told me himself it had been a good while since he had seen someone as young as myself so sick. He pressed down on my belly that was hurting so bad and it sent me to the ceiling. I told him not to touch me again, and guess what, he went to press down on my lower abdomen again so I punched him. I feel bad now, I do not remember doing that. It wasn't until a few days later when he told me that I knew what I had done. I think he was also the one that said and ordered I have a nasal gastric tube placed, which I refused point blank. No way in hell unless 1) Doc says it's okay, 2) He is there when it happens, and 3) If they knock my ass out with anesthesia.. I have to be totally honest with you, he had me on a general/regular diet from day one. I couldn't eat and was constantly puking, and still puking up shit none the less. Putting a cheeseburger and what not on my tray in front of my face is not in my medical opinion appropriate.
I can't even begin to tell you how bad and how much pain I was in. Plus I was so tired. I had my choice in pain meds, either IV Dilaudid or IV Tylenol. My pain usually sat at a 7-9. The Dilaudid would take it down to about a 2-3 but only for 20 minutes. The IV Tylenol would only take it down to a 5 at best but would last about 5 hours. I think I took the Dilaudid a few times but mostly stayed with the Tylenol which surprisingly does a somewhat decent job with abdominal pain. Colitis pain can be pretty hard to control unless you really push the big boy meds, but I didn't want to be one of those patients. I already had the nurses spending most of their shift in my room as it was making sure I was still breathing.
They actually had me on telemetry which is a monitoring system for your heart. I guess if I remember correctly I was having heart issues but I am not sure what those were. I had to stay on it the entire stay. I do remember one of the doctors coming into my room and telling me that he was going to D/C that then the nursing supervisor rushed in with a few paper strips and told him he needed to look at them. After he did that he said that he needed to keep me on it, but I don't think he told me why and I don't remember if Doc ever told me either.
Okay, I will continue the story later. I am still a bit sick and recovering so I get tired easily and quickly.
With all my love and appreciation,
Mashie