I see that the OP has not been on this site for 4 years, so i doubt he'll read this. My only hope is that he found a way to make his situation better, and that he is in a better place to be able to cope.
He was looking for advice/suggestion on being able to deal with his self-hate, so I'll speak on that (though i can see that I did so 4 years ago). Because the topic here is self-hate, and that maybe the OP will come back and read this, or for anyone else who has issues around self-hate.
The 1st step should be trying to convert to self love. To love one's self. Putting yourself in a place where you look forward to waking up in the morning because you know you will do and experience things that you will enjoy. What you will eat & drink, where you will go, and what activities. Kind of like pretending to be on a date with yourself, and asking your date what he wants to do to please him. You start doing things to please yourself, and reflect on it after a period. See if you don't see progress. This is just a basic overview to give you the idea.
The 2nd step is tackling the shame. You're only doing something wrong if it's either illegal, you're causing harm to someone else or yourself, or you have a hate that causes you to be prejudice and discriminate. That's it. Those are the only times one should ever feel shame. Whatever people have said & done to you or about you is more about them. THEY are the ones who should feel shame. You should not feel shame because you feel you have brought this on.
Why feel shame about your sexuality? During a sex act, are you pleasing the other person or harming another person? If you are making someone else happy during a sex act, what is the shame in that? Now, if you're harming another person in a sex act, that goes back to what I said above about feeling shame in terms of it being illegal (rape) or harming another person. So then you should do what? Avoid that behavior.
Why feel shame about homosexuality? Because certain religions, certain circles condemn it? Choose other circles. Find other circles that don't, where it IS acceptable. Look at the progress society has made over the years towards acceptance and tolerance. That should indicate it's something to feel less and less shameful about. [Since this post is about dealing with shame and not religion, you can PM me on my interpretation of God's actual stance]