I enter the hospital alone. It's an upscale private hospital. I complain of extreme soreness in my nipples and penis. The female doctor, in her 30's, comes right away while I'm still in the lobby, and tells me she wants to do an exam immediately.
"Please strip down. Everything. Even your underwear and socks. Right here is fine," she says. I trust her, so I remove all my clothing right there in the waiting room. She tells a nurse to put dispose of my clothing, and to take my cars keys and wallet and drive them back to my house.
"We're short on mobile beds right now, so please lie down on the floor, arms and legs spread." I obey. She probes me without gloves on my nipples, penis, face and as much of my anus as she can without flipping me over.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask.
"I don't have to tell you," she replies. After half an hour of constant probing, making me even more sore, she calls in two nurses and a gynecologist. Everybody who comes into the waiting room stares at me. A bed finally comes in. They insist that I remain motionless and lift me to the bed.
"Do you at least know what's wrong with me?" I ask.
Ignoring me, the doctor says, "We may have to intubate this if it talks again. It's going to have to stay with us for at least 8 weeks, hopefully longer."
The nurse wheels the bed into the elevator and up into the ObGyn level, where the bed is parked right in front of the ladies' restroom. I am not given any blankets or any way to cover my nudity. The bed is fitted with stirrups and I'm spread eagle in them, propped up so my flaccid penis and anus are front and center.
I have an itch on one of my nipples, so I scratch it. The gynecologist darts over to me and says, "Okay, I've had enough of that! Restrain it and intubate its mouth!"
I still want to trust these skilled professionals with all my heart, even though their methods seem bizarre. I let them restrain me arms, hands, legs and feet, and plant a tube in my throat.
I lie there for what must have been all day, but I lose track of time because there are no clocks. Finally, a nurse shaves my entire body, even my head and brows. So many people come in. Almost every time a lady comes to use the restroom, she giggles. Many of the ladies sitting on the nearby bench stare at me. They won't stop staring, and I can't say a word to them. One lady asks the nurse if it's okay to take a picture. The nurse tells her of course she can, so she takes like 20 pictures of me from every angle, even really close. Pretty soon, other ladies get the hint and start taking pictures of me, too.
About every half hour, a nurse stop by and rubs my nipples and penis. They're still sore and it hurts and nobody has said why, but they never wear gloves, and sometimes, they stick their hands in a bucket of ice first.
I don't even remember them putting me to sleep, but I remember waking up to hearing, "It's coming around now." Two nurses were roughly rubbing my nipples. Fuck, that hurt!
"Harder, Susan!" one nurse said, "It can't even feel what you're doing to its penis. The local is still working down there. It can't even feel the tube between it's scrotum and anus! No more penis peeing for it!"
Then, the gynecologist said, "Good news, girls. Now that it's on a liquid diet and we don't have to worry about it peeing itself, we've been authorized to keep it here another 16 weeks beyond the original 8!"
"Ooo, we have a mascot now!" another gyn said. "Hey, look at its heart rate. Its palpatating! That means it reeaaaallllly likes the idea of being a helpless, immobile, impotent, naked inhuman mascot whose pictures are all over the internet!"
"Well," said another, "That's got to be better than being a...man. Ewww!"
Then, I hear footsteps as everyone greets the Hospital Administrator.
"Hi, Administrator Blue!"
"Hello, ladies! Great job!" ... wait ... I recognize the administrator's voice! I sat next to her at a restaurant the day before! She had touched my coffee cup and said, "Sorry, my bad."
Administrator Blue continued: "I see that the drugs I administered to cause the nipple and penis pain worked! I've been on the phone with our largest feminist donor. She's agreed to fund our mascot project for the next 20 years! Let's find some cables and suspend it from the ceiling in just this same position. I don't want it occupying an expensive bed. Come along! We have work to do!"