This Woman Got A Breakup Letter From Her Gynecologist. But Did She Deserve It?

Would love to know what everyone thinks:

http://ilyke.com/u1467p6540/this-woman-got-a-breakup-letter-from-her-gynecologist--but-did-she-deserve-it/69471/?pid=0

I think a few questions were unnecessary (like the seat belt question), her tongue in cheek letter was probably misunderstood and the doctor's termination letter was reasonable and written to a legal standard for patient termination.

The two of them were simply not compatible.

A very interesting post Tammy. Its a bit strange not willing to disclose your marital status and then asking for an STD test so I suspect there is more to this than were are lead to believe.

As Susie said:

The two of them were simply not compatible.

It does happen and its best to to dissolve that professional relationship sooner rather than later to prevent any animosity or recrimination from both parities.

The age of consumerism has come to medicine and doctors had better be aware of it. If they aggravate a patient, that patient will quickly switch doctors. It's not like the old days when the Dr. would say, "Now I'M the doctor and you will do what I say." Questions about non-gyn topics, or non-health topics have no place in todays patient history forms. Good riddance to that nosey Dr.

Not a lot of detail in this article to be able to effectively take one side or the other. That said..

The seatbelt question is an oddball...I'll assume this particular doctor sees reducing vehicular fatalities as her cause in life. As far as marital status...you see that question all over the board, not hardly an ominous item so simply choose to answer it or not.

The idea of the robe not having a clasp in front...coming in the midst of the vocal proclamations of someone who wants us to know she has sex, presumably a lot, and it's with men who presumably are in the same mode, and therefore her and her partners share a very increased probability of trading std's.....sorry but I'm not buying into the shy and embarrassed outrage with all this

We then learn that she asks for increased testing to cover std's ...and...the doctor goes along "without complaint" and orders those tests. Further the doctor gives a basic explanation as to why they were not automatically offered. Some doctors try to squeeze every buck they can get out of a visit, some don't some insurance companies balk at testing without justification, etc. Again here I am not buying into the outrage

The letter - reads like a smart @$#% provocation from a self centered politically correct punk. How dare this doctor not fall on her knees for failing to recognize the needs of a 28 year old who must be constantly vigilant about std transmission from all those darn risky sexual encounters that she, as a 28 year old female, must engage in.

Obviously I went a bit over the top...the std thing can be a serious concern...btu can be handled in adult fashion. I obviously side with the doctor on this one - I would have written ...nutjob...liability waiting to happen...run away...in her file if it were me.

I have however seen a number of obgyn history questionaries' that are outrageous -questions along the lines of ...do you feel safe around your significant other..who brought you to this appointment...do you feel safe going home with them...to the point of psychological baiting. We have experienced a couple of offices like this and the exam room experiences were equally odd

The seatbelt question is weird, but I am in favor of seatbelts. If my insurance rate is determined by how much medical care someone else needs after a crash, I want them wearing a belt. I know, it's purely a monetary concern of mine. I don't care if they die because of their stupidity, then again who will pay for raising their children, my taxes?

Her gown complaints are over the top.

STD testing is not a routine test, but youi can certainly ask for it if you have a concern.

As I mentioned before, her letter to the doctor was unnecessary and pretty strange.

Personally, I am NOT in favor of questions regarding domestic problems or conditions. I never ask and I would never report anyone for anything. It's none of my business.

Although the article does not make it clear whether the patient had ever seen this gynaecologist before, I suspect the root cause of this was a personality clash between these two women, and there may be a background of past disagreements between them. Disputes involving women can be very bitter and spiteful, often nastier, more vindictive and more personal than anything where men are involved, and I should know because I've seen plenty of both. In this case it's difficult to be certain without knowing the full facts, but this is my perception here.

The questions about marital status and seat belt use were irrelevant to this situation, although yes, seat belts do save lives. Proven fact.

It seems to me the patient had primed herself ready for confrontation before the gynaecologist even entered the room. On request she did receive the tests she wanted, and this should have been enough. Yet she went out of her way to make a drama out of it and continued her hostility by writing the letter.

The two going their separate ways seems to have been the only solution, whatever the full situation truly was.

My wife has had issues in the past with female doctors on an occasion or two, but she has never allowed problems to escalate like this.

Jane sounds like the patient from Hell. And she is so narcissistic she wants to blog and tell the world about how she was mistreated. The whole world revolves around her and if someone doesn't treat her as the center of the universe, or she perceives such, then she will quickly sing the victim song. Not wife, life partner, or mother material.

I get the impression a lot has been left out from "the whole story".

Read the fine print.

If anywhere it has been stated, or somewhere where it's established policy that either the facility or the doctor has the right to terminate treatment of a patient for (here's where you put on your glasses for fine print), is it "any reason", or perhaps "reasons including but not limited to", & for all we know, the patient may have violated one of those.

But again, we don't know the whole story.

Concerns about what tests to conduct: This goes back to another post about a lady doc who has interview/evaluation sessions with patients beforehand to make sure these kinds of issues can be addressed up front.

My advice to the patient about the gown/robe: It's the gesture for concern over modesty that counts. You pretty much need to be nude at some point to be examined anyway, and you would be wearing it for only how long?

A doctor may always terminate care of a patient.

There are a few caveats.

The doctor may not leave the patient high and dry without a doctor. The doctor must give emergency care for a period of time, which in Podunk, Idaho may be 30 days or possibly even longer, while in New York City, a reasonable time for giving emergency care may only be a week because there are so many doctors in the city and few in rural areas. The doctor is NOT required to start any new or elective treatment after discharging/terminating a patient and referral to the emergency room is acceptable. It is good practice for the doctor to also give the address and phone number of the local medical society so the patient can be helped finding a new doctor.

That's all it takes to discharge a patient and for the doctor to be protected.

There is no "fine print" necessary for the doctor to tell the patient their discharge/termination policy in any questionnaire

Thank you, Susie. All patients need to know that.

Susie,

It always amazes me that patients are not aware of this, don't take it seriously, then make a nightmare of drama about it when the physician does terminate. So many of these type of patients act, think, behave as if the world, the medical care they receive and do not receive and the physician and the clinic revolve around them. The majority of these patients are a nightmare to deal with from the very first moment they have any interaction with any of the staff every time. Sad, there are people in this world who are always looking for drama, contention, something wrong, something to sue about, something to complain about etc etc etc. She definitely comes across this way. For the Dr and her staff, GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

I have a neighbor who is very miserable and is always involved in ugly drama, contention, looking for anything wrong with everyone and is sue happy. It really is a tragedy.

This is another case of a patient not wanting to take responsibility for their own care as well as a patient who feels entitled.

Doctors are reasonable people however you have to communicate what you want from them and or what you expect. If it's appropriate and medically warranted then the doctor will often try to accommodate.

For some reason patients always seem to think that they are doing US a favor by coming to us and that we should be grateful and or thankful. Which in turn makes them feel like they should get what they want and do so on their terms. However, it's not like that at all. It's the doctors business and the doctors license on the line. A doctor can kick you out of their practice for any reason they want and at any time. As Susie said, they do by law have to give you 30 days or whatever the law says they should, but that's it.

People and patients are cry babies. They think they need to be catered to and be made to be happy all the time. When it comes to their doctors they think again that they are doing us the favor and that we should be so happy to have you as a client and that we need to bend over backwards to make you happy.

Fact is, we don't. There are plenty of people who we actually like and who treat us with respect and are thankful that they have a great doctor and staff that cares about them and who takes care of them. Even in a single doctor practice he/she has thousands of patients. The numbers only go up from there with the more doctors you have then the numbers reach into the ten thousand range and on up. Do you think by losing a hundred or so is an issue? No, not at all. Buh-bye.

People's attitudes needs to change, and they need to be thankful that a doctor actually accepts them into their practice, not the other way around. Something else patients need to realize is that no doctor will take you anymore without records from your previous doctor. If you are kicked out of a practice for any reason, any reason what so ever whether it's for non-payment, for being an ass, or for drug seeking, the very first page that gets scanned over to your new doctor will be why you were kicked out of that practice. Also remember, NO doctor has to accept you as a patient and they don't have to give you a reason. So if you show up for your first appointment and the staff has viewed your chart from your last doctor and you have been an ass, don't be surprised if they tell you to go fine someone else. Keep that in mind.

Sometimes personalities clash which is perfectly fine. That is the human factor. So if you have issues with your doctor be an adult about it, discuss it with them and if you find that you guys just don't see eye to eye then site that as your reason for leaving. Don't be a jerk, it will follow you for the rest of your life.

Mashie

In the USA professional organizations recommend asking these questions of adolescent patients broadly including ages 9-25 to provide a tool addressing high priority adolescent risk behaviors during comprehensive health assessments. These surveys were developed by medical committees that included representatives of: State Departments of Health, Managed Care Plans, Adolescent Medicine Specialists, American Academy of Pediatrics, Academy of Family Physicians, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and Medical Society of the State of New York among others. The lengthy questionnaires cover various issues including questions about safety such as this sample:

Do you wear a seat belt when you ride in a car, truck, or van? Do you wear a helmet when you roller blade; skateboard; ride a bike, motorcycle, all-terrain vehicle, mini-bike, scooter; or go snowboarding or skiing? (Circle all activities in which you participate.) Do you or does anyone you live with have a gun, rifle, or other firearm? Have you ever carried a gun or weapon? Have you ever been in trouble with the law? Has anyone touched you in a way that made you uncomfortable? Has anyone ever forced you to have sex? Has anyone ever hurt you physically or emotionally? (Copyright © 2010, The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

Consequently there has been considerable public controversy, misunderstanding, and misinformation. The intention is to allow physicians to provide a standard of care that encourages healthy, safe, and productive youth.

I apologize if some of this has already been said, but I only had time to skim the above comments, but still wanted to comment Aside from the style of gown, the issues seem to be what the patient felt were irrelevant questions and performing or not performing certain lab tests. First, regarding the latter, depending on the patient's insurance, certain tests are often covered only with certain symptoms or at specified ages, so tests may not be done unless medically indicated and/or with the patient's understanding she might have to pay for them. Second, is the issue of what may appear to be intrusive and/or irrelevant questions on the history. For years, public health and mental health groups have urged medical professionals to screen for and educate patients on topics like seat-belt use, accident-provention, smoking, exercise, domestic violence, and suicide. Some ER's now screen everyone for suicide risk. More problematic is this has often been accompanied with associated questions about access to guns. Likewise, medical professionals are urged to be more sensitive and accepting of alternative "lifestyles," but asking patients such questions can be seen as intrusive, even insulting. The medical professional today is caught in a bind from conflicting demands of time, decreased reimbursement, increased paperwork and regulations, demands of a "nanny state," law suits, and occasionally easily offended patients.

I don't want to steer off topic too far, but we are dangerously close to a society of sheep being led to slaughter. Medical professionals need to immunize themselves from a police state...not actively foster one. Especially where our youth are involved we need to guide them to be outstanding citizens....not victims of conjured up peril. Advising a teenager on the dangers of smoking, alcohol and drug use, and fostering programs that teach how to safely ski, snowboard or use a firearm are to be applauded. Asking them to circle if they participate in these activities....and....flagging them as "risk behavior" is right out of Orwell's 1984.

The number of teens responsibly exposed to firearms is quite large, especially in hunting states, and aside from that car, truck , or van with seatbelts....how about the school bus?...oh I forgot...the elite argue against seatbelt or other protective measures in that situation and argue it's safer to get slung up against the big seat in font of you. And of course the biggest mystery...exactly what happens when a teen answers yes ... that they live with someone who owns a firearm...or that they have been I trouble with the law. And what exactly does that mean ..a parking ticket...felony assault....murder?? So if a teen says yes, my dad owns a gun....what exactly does a medical professional do...they have zero business asking the teen about the gun, its purpose, its make and model...they can do nothing...so why ask in the first place...who sees and collects that information....and for what reason? And there is a reason court records are sealed in the case of minors. Physicians do not have a right to ask a minor about any record they may have or infractions of the law to any extent.

I long for the days when children played in playgrounds, when parents were not arrested for "neglect" by allowing them to play and be children....when politically correct self appointed guardians that would call the police to a playground did not exist....and when doctors gained the respect of all around them for their humility and dedication to helping the suffering. And yes, I know these good people are still out there. Perhaps for the next step these prestigious organizations can be to keep a scorecard on doctors not achieving a 95% completion rate on the risky behavior survey and promptly revoke their license.

I'll now jump off my soapbox

Greg

^^^^^ Yeah, most people just plain suck!

There aren't many I want to be friends with.

In the USA professional organizations recommend asking these questions The lengthy questionnaires cover various issues including questions about safety such as this sample:

Do you wear a seat belt when you ride in a car, truck, or van? ....

I worked for a few years as a professional driver, transporting stevedores in the (enormous) harbor area in my city. Prior to being hired, I was required to have a medical exam - which was rather perfunctory all things considered. But even though this was a case where obviously the question might have been reasonably applicable, no doctor or anyone else for that matter, asked if I used a seat belt while driving. I am quite sure the understanding was, it is the law to do so, so no need to ask. It was assumed you complied. Because if you didn't comply, you'd lie about it anyway. So why go through the silly charade?

A really odd question for a doctor to ask, if truth be told. I'd say it's not in a doctor's purview to ask if traffic laws are obeyed.

I think I would be miffed and squint and raise an eyebrow if I were asked this by a doctor, even if it were on a questionnaire.

These are things you are asked about AFTER being involved in a physical injury in a traffic accident.

. . . . A really odd question for a doctor to ask, if truth be told. I'd say it's not in a doctor's purview to ask if traffic laws are obeyed.

I think I would be miffed and squint and raise an eyebrow if I were asked this by a doctor, even if it were on a questionnaire. . . .

I admit it, I'm a speed demon!

Look out, coming through!

VROOOOM! 😁 😁 😁