You bring up some interesting stuff, afternine. However, I think that the most interesting thing about everything you mentioned is that they are not necessarily right or wrong. All of those factors can go either way:
I guess the size men can take is bigger than what women can take just because male physiology is bigger than female (in general), as is common that bigger men have larger hands (or feet or johnsons) .
- Women are usually more flexible than men. Even if a guy has a bigger anus, perhaps a woman's anus can stretch farther.
I think the thrill of insertion is however bigger for men then for women. For women the "natural" way to make sexy time is being penetrated, so it is more "mundane" and common and anal penetration is just filling another hole, while for men it poses something unusual, naughty etc...
- If it is common for a woman to receive penetration, then it must also be common for a woman to be excited about it. People's sexual activities, ideally, tend to revolve around what excites them.
- Many women who love anal play say they feel that vaginal play is "mundane" or has become mundane. So for many women, anal play is just as much an exotic alternative to the typical way of doing things as it is for men.
There is also the prostate factor
- The prostate is merely the male version of the g-spot, and the g-spot, ipso facto, is the female version of the prostate. Both spots are stimulated a great deal through anal stimulation, and therefore, under the right circumstances, anal penetration hits a certain target for women as well as it does for men. Furthermore, anal insertions tend to stimulate and excite the entire pelvic region, which can bring a lot of pleasure to the genitals whether one has a penis or a clitoris.
plus the mental letting go of the "masculine" role, being subconsciously submissive,
- If a man can think of a certain activity as a letting go of the masculine role, then a woman can think of it as just another part of the feminine role. Many people, some of them men and some women, are consciously turned on by the idea of doing something that feels feminine/submissive.
Being stretched and full by pregnancy beyond any trainable limit probably also drive women away from such pleasures.
- Interesting thought. Perhaps some women associate the insertion of large objects with child birth, but many do not. Especially since in this case the orifice in question is not the one that childbirth employs.