Are you transgender or moving that way?

Are you Transgender or moving toward being transgender? The ESPY bravery award was given to Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner who’s now living as a woman. I started wearing female clothing as a child playing ‘dress up’ with my year-younger sister and 2 years older cousin. I stayed in the closet wearing mostly lingerie, but had a small outer wear wardrobe. Then a year and a half ago I was outed at work by my secretary. She encouraged me wear women’s clothes at workdays when there were no client visits. Through another employee—who also knew I was a cross dresser I purchased a very large wardrobe from the estate of a 45 YO woman. A whole new world of color & style opened up for me. I wanted to be able to wear my new clothes all the time. I got laser hair removal, took voice, movement lessons, and a lot of make up and ‘coaching’ from my 3 employees. I’ve moved so my new neighbors assume I’m a woman—or at least if they think I’m a trans they accept me.

Beyond the physical changes, life goes on. Who am I? In one area, professionally I just can’t make the change. I’m an accountant. I have my own office, which is about half the practice time. I have associates with whom I team up and do audits, which provides 70% of my income. I worry about losing professional status and experiencing rejection if I switch clothes.

I have always had a ‘light’ first tenor voice, and can sing higher than many women. When I approached the choral conductor, he wasn’t shocked that I wanted to ‘change.’ We usually sing with a partner of the same part; I blend very well with a second alto who has a voice that’s a little heavy for a woman. I was lucky to continue in the chorus still singing first tenor and sometimes second alto now.

I had little trouble with civic groups or the governing board of a non-profit. When ‘coming out’ I would let people get used to my feminized hair, voice, light make up, and one or two times wear one item of women’s clothing. When announce that I was same person I’d always been but desired to change my pubic gender, the usual reaction was, “Okay.” Not everyone likes the idea. One man with whom I had a good relationship asked why I couldn’t be a man; was I gay? The relationship went sour after I came out. Another man I didn’t know well was gay and made a pass at me.

However being the first transwoman any of them had really known I had to be very sensitive to their attitudes. The main sensitivity is the toilet. One woman on a community board said she didn’t want to see me in the ladies’ room. I avoid using the toilet unless it’s a single toilet. I don’t mind using the “women” room in a small building if it’s a single, but I’d be uneasy seeing someone I knew in the Ladies’ room.

As an athlete I have to differ with Caitlyn who said that trans people should be able to compete in the adopted sex. I’m a high grade amateur for my age in running, biking, and triathlons; 3-4 times a year I take home a medal in my age group. However I often come in ahead of the first woman. To me, it seems unfair that if I were to declare myself a woman, that overnight I would be the top ‘female’ in the area.

I don't understand "moving that way." You're either transgender or not. You know it if you are and probably have since childhood. It has nothing to do with cross dressing, physical attributes or sexual activity.

The question is do you identify yourself as female? Or don't you know for sure? If not you are just cross dressing. Now I got dressed up as Dolly Parton once for Halloween. I didn't feel one bit female. I did wear lipstick though but didn't shave my mustache. I was hot no doubt.

Bratwurst said

. . . . As an athlete I have to differ with Caitlyn who said that trans people should be able to compete in the adopted sex. I’m a high grade amateur for my age in running, biking, and triathlons; 3-4 times a year I take home a medal in my age group. However I often come in ahead of the first woman. To me, it seems unfair that if I were to declare myself a woman, that overnight I would be the top ‘female’ in the area.

I absolutely agree with you. Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner is totally, absolutely wrong on this one.

Transgender men to women should never compete with natural born women. Their bodies are those of men and they possess tremendous physical advantage over naturally born women/females. Female to male transgenders would come in close to the end if circumstances were reversed. Jenner is starting to have a big mouth and is taking advantage of his public position.

His/her getting an ESPY award for bravery is ridiculous for living as a woman. Many people do that as well as things that actually are brave, and they do that without the pomp and publicity and without the financial awards Jenner will no doubt reap.

Yes, well an award for bravery ...is that a f*****g joke or what ??....Brave my arse...show me where any form of BRAVERY was involved !!That's a slap in the face for all those that surrendered their lives both in the name of freedom & assisting others so that they should live.

Bravery--An act of courage...supreme selfless sacrifice....usually under impossible conditions....above & beyond the call of duty.

As for competitive sport at the highest level ...the facts are under international AAA & IOC rules....sophisticated testing procedures for any chemical enhancement by both blood & urine analysis....auto disqualification if deemed double positive (Sample A & B test) or failure to comply....pending clearance--immediate referral for genetic verification.

As for competitive sport at the highest level ...the facts are under international AAA & IOC rules....sophisticated testing procedures for any chemical enhancement by both blood & urine analysis....auto disqualification if deemed double positive (Sample A & B test) or failure to comply....pending clearance--immediate referral for genetic verification.

GENES count.

EXACTLY !!

If someone was taking hormones from puberty, I'd say that they should be able to compete. If, like most and like Jenner, they completed growth to adulthood then changed, no, they should not be able to compete on a level field with cis gender folk.

As for courage, I've experienced the courage it takes to change, but that's not what it's about. This is political correctness gone haywire again. Same thing as Obama getting a Nobel Peace prize for not doing anything yet.

Professional sports can make whatever rules the paying fans will tolerate. If wrestling fans want a show rather than skill, they will get it.

OTOH, for Olympic and other amateur sports, there should be NO question that drugs and doping of any sort that affect performance are forbidden. The Soviet bloc (especially the East German) "female" Olympic competitors of the Cold War era are the best examples that we should NEVER allow that to happen.

I’m on a journey, and I’m not sure where I am or where I’m going. In San Francisco it’s easy to find transwomen, cross dressing men, and people who are somewhere in the middle. What’s a woman? A full figured female, married with children and functioning sexually with her husband obviously. Not everyone is full figured. My female running friends have narrow hips & small boobs. They couldn’t run if they were built with wide hips. I think I look like my athlete friends. I’m naturally light boned; with some hip padding my figure is pretty close. Does a woman have to be sexual? Two of my employees aren’t. They seem to be socially inept, haven’t had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) for years. Like me. They’re like worker bees, females but not functioning sexually. I’m pretty much asexual although, like lesbians, I have an attraction toward females. I took a human sexuality class. At the first meeting there was a tall woman seated near me. I read ‘her’ as a transwoman in minutes. After a month when the topic was transgender the ‘student’ gave the lecture. She’d been in class mainly to sit & talk with students to expose them to a transgender person. She’d been a marine, police officer, married, had 3 kids, 6 grandkids & had a sex change with surgery. And she had a lesbian relationship. No I haven't had surgery; however there are plenty of 'pre-op' transwomen out there.

Transgender or gender dysmorphia is a condition where the person KNOWS that they were born in the wrong body.

It has nothing to do with physical development, sexual preference or fashion preferences. It might cause social withdrawal but that's a result, not a symptom.

Surgery is something that some transgender people chose to do, but it's not a requirement.

If someone was taking hormones from puberty, I'd say that they should be able to compete. If, like most and like Jenner, they completed growth to adulthood then changed, no, they should not be able to compete on a level field with cis gender folk.

As for courage, I've experienced the courage it takes to change, but that's not what it's about. This is political correctness gone haywire again. Same thing as Obama getting a Nobel Peace prize for not doing anything yet.

You speak with a lot of authority and conviction on this topic.

Am I to understand that you have PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED the courage to change or that you EMPATHIZE with transgenders through your educational activities?

You speak with a lot of authority and conviction on this topic.

Am I to understand that you have PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED the courage to change or that you EMPATHIZE with transgenders through your educational activities?

I was in a relationship with a transgender couple for a few years. We had very many long discussions about their process. Among other TG friends were pre, post and no-op, MtF and FtM. One wonderful woman worked for a surgeon as a counselor both before and after surgery. I learned TONS from all these people.

Bratwurst,

First and foremost I admire your courage to post about this very sensitive issue. It is something that many do not understand, even those of the GLTBAI community, friends and family and those who live their lives around it including those who are GLTBAI friendly and accepting. I have given you karma for your posts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Jds4med,

I would certainly be interested in the knowledge you have learned regarding this. I am sure many here would be. hmmm...maybe webby could start a section in the forum regarding this and GLTBAI issues etc in a safe format.

Andie

I caught a bit of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' last night, with Bruce, before Cait, talking about coming out with his kids. I'll respect the opinion of Jds4med regarding the terms. I've heard many times transgenders saying they were born in the wrong body, that 'I always knew I was a girl.' However Bruce, at the stage when the interviews on TV were done was about where I am. One foot in the masculine side and one foot in the feminine side. I listened for the 'I'm a woman in a man's body' statement, but didn't hear it. The program last night was about discussions about coming out, with his children & ex wife, and his mother. The wife & kids were hurt that he was hiding the idea of changing from them, although they knew he was a cross-dresser.

Does Cait deserve the term 'courage?' What she did and is doing is carrying publicity about the transgender journey to a different level: on TV. Not only the ESPY but initmate interviews with his wife and kids, and the TV show 'CAIT.' 'Courage' IMHO doesn't have to be restricted to physical determination to do something in the face of danger to ones body. It could be determination to do something in the face of danger to what others think of you. It's easy now to be in favor of gay marriage, but it took courage to be a priest and perform a marriage 20 years ago knowing he could be excommunicated. Transgender is not fully accepted as 'normal.' There are hundreds of persons on this forum who cross dress to some extent, given the number of people who post. I wonder how many of these people could go to their friends and family cross dressed and say 'I like to wear the other sex's clothing.'

In my 'outed' thread I shared I wore lingerie to work, thinking I could hide it. No way was I going to risk scorn, derision, feeling people thinking 'pervert,' wierdo about me. The worst fright I ever experienced was when my secretary told me to take off my bra. She knew! Someone that close to me knew I was a cross-dresser! I could hardly function for the rest of the day. My worst fear was being found out, and it came true. Thankfully the consequences of being found out did not occur. She'd know for a long time but didn't want me to know that she knew. Over the next few months, now a year and a half I've had the 'courage' to stick my toe out bit by bit into public. Believe me. It took determination--courage if you will--to walk into a board meeting of a multi million dollar non-profit organization for which I am a financial officer and tell them I was going to transition. I had dropped hints for months in my appearance; it turns out that hints had done the job of planting suspicion, and the announcement was confirmation. I didn't get kicked out. This is San Francisco where GLBT is alive and well. However the GL part is a lot more accepted than the T part. Even after the board members told me it was acceptable to show up in women's clothes, it was scary the first meeting. I could see them all looking and wondering how much I looked like a woman or simply a man wearing women's clothes. It's reality for me that someone with radar can tell I'm not a woman when I am out en femme. And I'm 'out' in many areas of my life now.

While she has ignited a conversation, I give ZERO credibility to any Kardashian era Jenner interview. I just don't know what's hype, what's the result of media editing and what's truth.

Listening to Caitlin for accurate information is like learning medicine from TV dramas.

It's all hype, pomp and publicity. Jenner will always be "Bruce" to me. I'd have more respect for him if he just went about his business instead of strutting around on his reality shows.

On another note, there is a "Bruce Jenner Lane" someplace in Texas and there is a movement to change the name to Caitlin Jenner Lane. That is absolutely ridiculous. The guy got a street named after himself once and now some want to change it. THAT'S BULLSHIT! People there have that street name on their driver's license, tax forms, work forms, employment forms, insurance forms, etc. He can't hide from his past.

Zero tolerance for political correctness.

You know the Caitlyn Jenner thing might be an exceptional case as it's so much in the spotlight. The grandstanding and hype detracts from the issue for others. I really have a lot more sympathy for those who quietly trudge on with the issue.

You know the Caitlyn Jenner thing might be an exceptional case as it's so much in the spotlight. The grandstanding and hype detracts from the issue for others. I really have a lot more sympathy for those who quietly trudge on with the issue.

So do I.

It's all hype, pomp and publicity. Jenner will always be "Bruce" to me. I'd have more respect for him if he just went about his business instead of strutting around on his reality shows.

On another note, there is a "Bruce Jenner Lane" someplace in Texas and there is a movement to change the name to Caitlin Jenner Lane. That is absolutely ridiculous. The guy got a street named after himself once and now some want to change it. THAT'S BULLSHIT! People there have that street name on their driver's license, tax forms, work forms, employment forms, insurance forms, etc. He can't hide from his past.

Zero tolerance for political correctness.

It's the same political correctness that's trying to erase the history of the Civil War and the Confederacy.

Jds if you're talking about the removal of the confederate flag I'll have to take exception to what you say. For African Americans that flag is a symbol of a time of horror for them. It should be removed. If you weren't referring to that then sorry. I actually have very little sympathy for the notion that the civil war should be remembered with anything other than distress.

I agree with Liquidsky.

The Confederate flag is akin to the swastika.

No, I'm talking about the removal of anything confederate from multiple sources. Things like taking reruns of Dukes of Hazzard off the air because there's a flag visible. Removal of statues of confederate leaders. It's revisionist claptrap. Make it like it never happened instead of using history to study how not to repeat past mistakes.

No, fictional TV shows aren't educational (usually) but removal due to the innocent display of an item just isn't right. Should we stop showing the Star Trek episode PATTERN OF FORCE? How about every WWII movie that depicts either the swastika or rising sun?

I agree with Liquidsky. The Confederate flag is akin to the swastika.

One quick and single aside on this thread.

In Europe, where we have too many neo-Nazi and racist supremacist groups, along with their newer versions of the swastika flag (with rune symbols or fantasy swastikas or regional heraldic configurations), these groups also often sport the Confederate flag either in the form of tattoos, flags carried at rallies, marches, as bumper stickers or whatever.

So, even here, the connotation is abundantly clear. And there is no one to claim regional heritage either ... the symbolism is clear as a bell.

What was totally distressing about the recent refusal of many merchants such as Walmart and others was that in response there was a furor to buy these flags before they were no longer available. Yikes!

I'll root for Caitlyn. Bringing the issue out in the air waves has already had a positive impact on me. One issue that had nagged at me was that I'm still sexually oriented toward females. Caitlyn, as Bruce said he was hetero too. So I can move along without worrying too much about that issue. Secondly far from detracting from the issue for me, one of the people previously trudging along, the publicity has been good for me. Several people with who have known me before and after and some who met me 'after' mentioned they saw Caitlyn on TV and passed along encouraging and accepting comments. I know there are people who harbor distaste and disgust for cross-dressers and transpeople; one sees the comments on Caitlyn video comments. A supportive acquaintance told me someone else referred to me a 'drag queen' behind my back. Therefore I'm still treading lightly in some areas of my life.

I'll root for Caitlyn. Bringing the issue out in the air waves has already had a positive impact on me. One issue that had nagged at me was that I'm still sexually oriented toward females. Caitlyn, as Bruce said he was hetero too. So I can move along without worrying too much about that issue. Secondly far from detracting from the issue for me, one of the people previously trudging along, the publicity has been good for me. Several people with who have known me before and after and some who met me 'after' mentioned they saw Caitlyn on TV and passed along encouraging and accepting comments. I know there are people who harbor distaste and disgust for cross-dressers and transpeople; one sees the comments on Caitlyn video comments. A supportive acquaintance told me someone else referred to me a 'drag queen' behind my back. Therefore I'm still treading lightly in some areas of my life.

bratwurst,

Look inward, not outward. What other people do or say is not a criteria for you to base your life on - in any issue.

Do YOU feel like you're in the wrong body? When you were a kid, did you identify more as a boy or girl?

Your sexual preference is meaningless here. I knew TG people who are sexually attracted to the same gender, the opposite gender, both genders or no gender. Surprise - it's just like everybody else! Same thing for dressing. I know folks who are completely happy with their gender and get a sexual thrill by cross dressing. That's not TG. Being anywhere on the Kinsey scale of sexual preference doesn't make you transgender.

Once again, look inward. Get professional help if you think you need it. Being on SF, there's tons of experienced therapists. You might also want to join a support group. People dealing with these issues in real time can help you sort things out.

Blurring the lines - Awards & Credibility

http://beforeitsnews.com/2015/11/family-of-911-hero-refuse-glamour-award-over-caitlyn-jenner-3075256.html

I really had no desire the change from male to female, but I did have a strong urge to rid myself of all my sexual urges. That's why I chose to be surgically emasculated. Testosterone has a strong impact on one, both physically and psychologically, and to finally be free of that hormone, I am now more peaceful and less stressed.

Why bother with the surgery? Just take high doses of estrogens and anti androgens. Chemical castration is so much easier. The only reason to have the surgery is if you want female genitals to be constructed. Surgical castration is done rarely with advanced cases of prostatic CA. Was that why it was done?