Reviving an old friend!
Last Friday I went for my overdue colonoscopy. The prep for the blessed event is pretty standard: liquid diet the day before, 4 Dulcolax tablets, 2 bottles of dishwater (superprep), and two fleets enemas the morning of the test. Since fleets irritate me so much I got an ok from my gastro guy to substitute tap water enemas instead of the fleets. It has always worked and satisfactorily cleared me out for the procedure.
Thursday was typically miserable and I spent much of the evening seated on the porcelain throne. Since we live in a rural area and the medical arts building is a ways off, we have to start the tap water enemas pretty early to make a morning appointment. My bride is no fan of enemas, but in the last few years has been willing to help with baking soda enemas when my IBS flares up and with prep for my colonoscopies. Without her assistance, I rarely can finish a full two quarts, but with her help, I can almost always take a full bag. So I get out the equipment and realized the silicone bag had developed a split in the hanging hole - a sure way to have the bag drop once full. My bride assured me she could hold it up during the procedure and order a replacement on-line for the next occasion an enema was needed. Instead I went down to the cellar where I had stored the stuff I rescued from my mother's stored belongings. Recovering the cloth bag containing the Rexall Victoria combination bag and accessories I returned to the bathroom where my bride was waiting. I produced the syringe and said the her it was the same bag my mother bought more than 50 years ago and was last used - on me at least - when I was seventeen and suffering a nasty bout of flu. My bride and I were dating at the time and she remembered the incident since my mother made it a point to tell everyone every detail of my illnesses! Her only question was where did I want it, "bed or bathroom?" I opted for the bathroom, bent over the tub. (Just like in the olden days!!)
Although the bag and hose appeared clean, we flushed it a couple of times with bleach and hot water. Then filled it to the brim with warm tap water, screwed in the adapter and hose and added the latex catheter I use for enemas. Then it was down on my knees bent over the tub, with the bag suspended from a cord looped over the shower curtain rod, and my bride inserting the colon tube and poised to open the steel clamp. I glanced to my left where I could see it all in the big vanity mirror and it was like a picture from my childhood: Swollen red bag, red hose leading to my butt, a middle aged woman behind me ready to administer a good enema - it was deja vu all over again!! It got even more like the old days when my bride started telling me "just a little more" and "almost there." Then when the flow seemed to have stopped she lifted the bag over her head and told me "just this last bit and we're done." OMG! I was thirteen again! The second enema was over way to soon, but was as memorable.
Normally, since I forego anesthesia, I drive myself for the procedure. This time, since she had the day off, she opted to accompany me to the center, promising me a breakfast at the diner on the way home. She was allowed to stay with me in the pre-op area before I was taken in. Things were backed up - a lot of folks must be trying to spend their HSA's or get their medical deductions before the end of the year - so we waited a while before a young-ish med tech came to run through the pre-op checks. Since I did not want anesthesia, she didn't have to start an IV, but she did question me about the prep: "Did I finish the oral solution, did I experience any problems, were the movements clear, did I take the enemas this morning?" Before I could answer the last question my bride said "yes, he took the enemas like a good boy - the whole bag!" The tech looked surprised and said "not the fleets? A bag enema?" She answered for me again "yes, two bags and he took it like a trooper!" I interjected and said the doctor said I could use tap water enemas since fleets irritate me a lot. The tech said, "I didn't think people did those anymore. I guess you should be pretty well cleaned out"
I was wheeled in a short time later and was soon grunting as they worked the scope around the corners and inflated me like a Macy's balloon. Except for one small polyp I had a clean bill. The doctor commented on the good prep and said he would see me in three years. When I joined my bride for the ride back, she said she would order a replacement for the silicone bag online and I told her I didn't think she needed to do that since the Victoria still worked just fine! I anticipate the next time my IBS flares that Victoria will visit with me once again!
Nice to be able to revive an old friend - and recapture memories from so long ago.