To be a domme or not to be a domme ?

Hi guys !

I'm in a sticky situation, I hope you'll be able to help me.

Here I go...

I've always had a, er, deviant sexuality. I've been a sub for years to my master whom I loved deeply. All those years I've always wanted to try to turn the tables around, at least once, to try, but my master was totally against it.

Today I'm single and I've met this guy on a Eurostar on my way to London. He's way older than me (he's in his 50s, I'm only 24) and handsome as hell ! Anyway, long story short, he wants and I quote 'to be my bitch'. He's into everything but scat...

I should be happy I finally get to try to be a domme, he's coming to Paris next week and I'm really anxious because i have absolutely no idea what to say or do !

Can anyone share their first experience ? And if you could point your favourite videos i'd appreciate it (i need some inspiration)

Merci 😃

Firstly a welcome to zity.... There are quite a number of helpful articles posted here that may provide the "inspiration" you seek...Maybe start by reading Category BDSM...Hope it helps !!

That Australian Thanks ! I'm still working me way around the website. I will check it out, I'm sure I'll find inspiration. Xx

. . . . All those years I've always wanted to try to turn the tables around, at least once, to try, but my master was totally against it. . . .

Ditch the guy. You're not his indentured servant.

Anybody who won't throw you a bone and allow to to turn the tables at some time isn't worth your time.

One more thing, if you are 24 years old, "all these years" isn't a very long time. You don't really have much invested in this guy.

WHY DOES YOUR PROFILE SAY YOU ARE UNDER TWENTY???

Susie, the OP mentioned that she is now single. I guess you missed that, but I'm not complaining because I know you have a lot of reading to do in your moderation of this site and it is inevitable to miss something sooner or later.

I actually opened this thread because according to the homepage you were the last person to comment on it, and when I read the OP I was hoping you would have some great advice, tips and wisdom to share in response to the questions she ended up asking, which you apparently missed as well.

Black Barbie, I just thought of some ideas for you and this guy who is so fortunate to have met you. You say that he wants to "be your bitch," so the coup de grâce in that situation is most likely you use a dildo/strapon to fuck him anally. As with any anal activity, you will need to use plenty of lube for this, of course. Do not use lube that happens to be silicone based because a dildo is often silicone and silicone lube melts silicone toys.

Also, tell him to take a series of plain water enemas until the water comes out clear and have him do this the morning of your date with each other, before he even gets ready to visit you. That way he will be clean and ready for whatever activities you will engage in when he does arrive. You don't want to wait until he arrives and give him the enemas yourself because then you will both have to spend a great deal of time just waiting for him to come back out of the bathroom after he finishes expelling the enemas.

Some other stuff you can do, of course, would be to have him lie on his back and then kind of sit on his face so he can pleasure you with his mouth for a while. And then you can spank him on the butt cheeks with his belt. He will remember you every time he puts that belt on in the future! First you could put a butt plug in him, then get on top of his mouth for a while for him to orally please you and satisfy you several times, then spank him, then take the butt plug out and fuck him with a strap on dildo until he has an orgasm.

I can understand Susie's reticence. New member, first post, asking for videos, profile not matching what is being said. There are a lot of one off members here who post very specific stuff then disappear. I'm not saying that Black Barbie is one of these, just that Ivan see why there might be question marks.

However, in the spirit of things I can make a few suggestions...

He wants to be your bitch. What about what you want? You've been a sub to a Master before so think about all the things you had done to you that you might want to reciprocate.

Some light, or even heavy bondage is a good place to start. Get him tied down and blindfolded and then you can get up to whatever you like!

Having him pleasure you is a great start. Make him understand it is about your pleasure first and foremost. If he wants a reward he'll have to work for it! 😉

Keeping him plugged would also be a good idea. Maybe tie his ankles to the headboard. This is a seriously exposing situation an he won't be able to stop you putting whatever you want inside him.

Tease and denial is always good for horny guys. Play with his cock and bring him to the edge over and over but don't let him cum. Maybe he has to make you cum five times before he's allowed release himself. When you do let him cum have him shoot directly into his mouth or feed it to him afterwards. That will show you how serious he really is about this.

As ever, play safe. Meet somewhere public and tell someone where you are going. You only met this guy once, and whilst he is probably a decent chap you can't do any harm by being cautious. He will understand, and if he doesn't then get rid of him fast.

Most of all, enjoy yourself!

Thanks @HC ! I didn't know about silicon lubes melting sextoys..

I can't tie him, he has anxiety so he cannot be tied which is a shame...

Seems like we'll have a lot of shopping to do, strapon, butt plugs, a whip, and a leash too maybe.. Tease and deny is my area of expertise to be honest lol. Wow all this sounds much more fun than I thought.

Another question, will I have to be verbally abusive ? This is really not my type... I can be directive and quite bossy though..

P.S : I'm real, very much so, made of flesh and bones. I'm 24yo and I live in Paris. I don't know why my profile is putting up that I'm less than 20yo and YES I am straight. I had an experience with a girl in london (she was fit too) but not my thing, way too boring in my opinion. Nothing like a man with a dick. Excuse my French.

H C said

Susie, the OP mentioned that she is now single. I guess you missed that, but I'm not complaining because I know you have a lot of reading to do in your moderation of this site and it is inevitable to miss something sooner or later.. . . .

I didn't miss anything. I know she is not married and I purposely did not relate my first experience because it was a gradual elevation of my childhood and teen-aged dominating personality. She should ditch her master. She has next to nothing really invested in that relationship despite what it feels like to her, and please don't tell me that "perception is reality" because perception is NOT reality. Reality is reality.

When she said "today I'm single" it sounds like she is alone on her London trip and has the opportunity to be a domme to this guy she met there when she returns home. I get it, she is not familiar with exactly what to do. She never said she broke up with her master, just that she was single/by herself on her trip. At 24 she should see whoever she wants and when she gets home from her trip, she should break up with her master.

That is what I meant.

Susie,

Oh- Thanks for having the patience to clarify that for me!

Black Barbie,

To answer your question

will I have to be verbally abusive ?

You do not have to do anything that you do not want to do. As for verbal abuse in particular, many people do not incorporate verbal abuse into their dominance and submission play. It is quite common for people to find the idea of verbal abuse a bit of a turn off. As I described yesterday, there are plenty of other activities you can do instead.

It makes sense that this person does not want you to tie him up. Even if he were into that particular activity, this is only your first time playing together and it is not advisable for anyone to allow a stranger to tie them up in any way. Just look at what happened to George Constanza!

https://youtu.be/For8y4DwOpA

So, how did it go?

(He says, not really expecting a response...)

I don't think we're going to hear either. Lol

Er, 24, and "all those years".

Well it would seem you have tons & tons of experience to drawn on since you have been in this life style for so long.

I have always been a sub due to strict up bring. My wife is a lot younger than me and has a more dominant personality.Then a few yrs ago became incontinent now diaper bound which puts me in a bad spot.She is strict but fair there is no spanking or rough stuff but everything is done her way.

If he wants to be your bitch. You might want to dress him up in some women's clothing (skirt, blouse, stockings) if he's into that. I find it to be a turn on.