Reaction of parents to masturbation

When I was a child my mom once walked on me masturbating. She seemed very disturbed and interrogated me: what was I doing? why? who showed me that?

It's only later that I understood she thought that a child my age was normally "innocent" so I could have been somewhat "corrupted" by a pedophile or something.

She seemed puzzled and eventually left after reminding me that I should not do it in public (hey, SHE had entered my bedroom without knocking, otherwise I'd have hidden my erection).

How about you?

My parents were very cool about sexuality - except premarital sex. "Sex is a wonderful thing that a man and a woman do when they're in love and get married."

JDS4Med: I think mom disapproved of everything that was not vaginal intercourse within marriage or at least a stable adult relationship.

In my 20s recall her talking, shocked, of some guy who "kissed the vulva" as if it were of the utmost dirty perversity; and also called "perverse" some adult comics I had forgotten at their home, so I think to her oral sex was perverse.

She also disapproved of teenage relationships: waste of time, full of risks (pregnancy...).

She seemed to disapprove of masturbation but did not make a fuss unless seeing it directly. So for years I left semen stains without reaction but when she again walked on me masturbating when I was a teen (15?) it resulted in angry incoherent shouts.

My parents never said or did anything to dissuade us from masturbating or having sex. We were just warned to use a condom.

We were always nude in the house until our older daughter entered puberty and then she wanted their father to wear underwear around the house--probably due to social conditioning in school. We never hid the body and always spoke freely about it. My daughters and I had talks about masturbating when they told me they "knew what it felt like to be a woman". Besides, when they were in early puberty and we were doing some house remodeling, we had an American Standard bidet installed in their bathroom. I also conveniently left astroglide in their medicine cabinet, not that a 11-12 year old needs additional lube unless you're in a marathon session (which I was known to do.)

Teenage girls just soak everything, although I don't as much now as I did 10-30 years ago. They both told me they had used dildos prior to having sex with boys, so there was no hymen issue or problem with intercourse their first times. Extra lube is always good for all night marathon masturbating sessions which I did and thought my daughters might also do since the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I was raised by my very puritanical grandparents and was only caught once, but was warned about the wrath of hell! By the way I have masturbated, had sex out of wedlock, used butt plugs, enemas, suppositories, etc. and still have not made it to hell yet!

Switchablesusie: Wow... how did they get hold of dildos? Isn't the sale of such items prohibited to under-age folks in whatever US state you live in?

(I personally approve of youngsters learning the ropes of their body before trying it with a partner. Less stress.)

I'm reminded of the old joke from my generation, about the mother who walks in on her son, and he is vigorously masturbating, and she tells him he must never do that, because he'll go blind. And he says "well....can I just do it until I need glasses?"

I should point out that my discovering of masturbation was probably helped by my mother's insistence on personal hygiene. When you get told several times that you should every night was back and front and for the front you should fully retract the skin, no wonder you start playing with the said skin.

Switchablesusie: Wow... how did they get hold of dildos? Isn't the sale of such items prohibited to under-age folks in whatever US state you live in?

Older friends who looked older, fake ID's, online purchase. . . ??? We live in New York, not the middle of nowhere. These things are readily available. Harmless things they do playing with their bodies is none of my business. If they tell me what they do, I'll listen, but I won't ask. Even if they do all the stuff I did when I was a teenager, they will be just fine.

My parents never caught me masturbating. My ex did once and was furious. She wanted me to save it for her.

My parents never caught me either because my bedroom had a lock on the door.

They might have had an idea that I was masturbating because it took a while after the knocks on the door for me to put something on and dry my hands!

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There is a thread on BEING CAUGHT masturbating:

http://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=27780

I was never caught by my parents. My sister was by me and by our mom. I wasn't there when she was caught but she said it was by mom and she just opened the door and then said excuse me and closed it. It was weird because we were always taught not to touch there except to wipe or bathe.

I "think" I got caught masturbating when I was about 11 years old. One day I had only my underwear on but was standing behind my closet door which was hiding me from my open bedroom door. My mother came in and I am pretty sure she saw me standing and stroking away and then I immediately stopped. She did not say a word but had a look of "I know what you were doing" on her face. I think she was too embarrassed to say anything. My parents were very uptight about sex and we never talked about it ever so this episode fit with how we grew up.

Never caught either. My parents were totally blind.

ProV1: Did she have a disapproving look?

Having been in this situation from both sides of it I can say whilst felt bit awkward when I was "caught" it's not really an issue. I wouldn't be healthily or normal for teen etc to not masterbate it's 100 percent normal activity.

First thing I did was apologise for not knocking before going in to room ( tip close door fully don't leave it ajar if want to be left alone).

But whilst not topic I bring up have spoken about it and I am aware owns small vibrator.

But don't be naive your parents know you do/ did it. Even before physically "caught"in act it's fairly obvious when on occassion heard it and when do knock get told just s second, there's lots of scurrying and red faced under the cover with certain er smell in if as susie calls it been a marathon session.

Mom caught me when I was 11. I was laying in bed with my pajamas around my ankles and wanking away. She said excuse me and left, locking the door on the way out.

My dad even encouraged me to masturbate frequently because it was a nice way of feeling good without resorting to sex or worse, getting a disease or ending up pregnant.

Vis a vis your da kine, as American Express says, don't leave home without it!

Caught? Not persey.

I had been having phone sex with this guy. I was probably mid teens. It was like 3am? and I get a text on my phone from my mother that I was too loud.... AHH it's still embarrassing just thinking of it. ?

I was never caught, my sister was.

That lead to a family "conference". Ridiculous, embarrassing and one of the most stupid memories I have as a teen. I really don't know what my parents must have been thinking to say the things they said to us...

It had a negative impact on my sexual life for a long time and now I came to the realization that it must have had to do with the ideas my parents had about these normal behaviors.

I was told that masturbation wasn't a normal behavior, that something must be wrong with us, that we will become "crazy" ( not sure what they meant by crazy, perhaps neurotic?) and that only sluts do that.

20 years after that...and I'm on a slow path to healing and getting to know who I really am, what I like and take control of my sexuality.

I've purchased books and I'm learning about sexuality so I will be a better mother to my daughter and not screw her up...

It was hard enough to be a teenager, but those ideas made it even harder, not to mention guilt, low self esteem and depression.

I caught, actually was told by my daughter in simple terms that she was masturbating while she was doing it. She was five or six and I was putting her to bed, getting ready to read or sing to her. I heard a noise under her blanket and I thought she was playing with a toy she slipped under the covers because I heard a clicking noise and I asked her what the noise was. She said, "I'm enjoying my wetness." At her age, I doubt an orgasm was in the picture, but she clearly found her pleasure zone.

One other time a few years ago when the girls were young teenagers, my husband and I had come home from an evening out, and walked into the TV room where the girls were watching tv and obviously masturbating until the instant before we walked into the room. Everyone knew what what going on, nobody said anything about it and nothing needed to be said. It was just two girls exploring their bodies.

I guess we were pretty blasee about it.

I was caught one time by my Mother when I was either 6 or 7 playing with myself, and she said to me nice girls don't do things like that its Nasty and Dirty. So whenever after that I made sure I was in my room with the door locked the next time I touched myself. I wasn't going to stop just because of what she said it just felt so good not to stop. 😃 LOL 😜

I was never caught, my sister was. That lead to a family "conference". Ridiculous, embarrassing and one of the most stupid memories I have as a teen. I really don't know what my parents must have been thinking to say the things they said to us...

That's horrid and humiliating. How pompously self-important. I hope that the family conference was just the immediate family and didn't includes aunts or uncles ...

Never ever got caught.

I would have died of embarrassment if anyone I know caught me masturbating.Gosh! 😳

Though I know if it would have happen ,like If my mum caught me o something she would not have said anything.

I once got caught not actually caught I was watching porno in living room and I thought no one was home. Mum entered from backdoor and saw....

She was like " well you are a grown up, enjoy" and left the room laughing hysterically 😕

~Cookie

That's horrid and humiliating. How pompously self-important. I hope that the family conference was just the immediate family and didn't includes aunts or uncles ...

Agracier, it was indeed humiliating and pretty bad memory... Thankfully it didn't include anyone else, just parents and us.

What was even more humiliating was that my father did all the talk. My mother was looking down on us with disgust and dissapointment.

I've never had a talk about the natural course of life, what to expect at that age, or later in life.

Having my first period was traumatic because I didn't know why I was bleeding and I was ashamed about it. I had no idea that the changes the body goes through were normal and I was pretty down during middle school.

As I grew older I started reading about sexual education in a teenage magazine, pretty popular during that time and it felt good to realize that those were normal behaviors, and that I won't become "crazy" if I did it, nor was I a slut.

I didn't ask my mom anything about body and she didn't offer to say anything either. My grandma explained to me about period and body changes. Grandma was midwife.

I think the most I've ever asked my mom was a few months ago about her pregnancies with me and my sister. I'm taking part in an HG research study and they wanted to know about mothers, grandmas, immediate relatives pregnancies...

NADYASB: This may be indiscreet and of course you may decline to answer, but what is your family's cultural background? Staunchly Christian, for instance?

Pecan nutjob I think your question for Nadyasb was very rude, and I think you should apoligize to her. 😡

Kid thank you ?

Pecan, my parents views had nothing to do with religion. My father is an atheist and my mother...I have no clue whether she cares or not about religion. The only times they've set their feet in a church were funerals or weddings.

I think their views came more from an internal turmoil they must have been experiencing and they simply had no clue how their actions/ideas would impact their kids.

Plus the world was a little different 20-30 years ago anyway. Now pretty much anyone can google whatever they want whenever they want.