50 Shades Of Grey

To be honest, I am not really much of a reader, but I found a copy of Fifty Shades Of Grey last week at a Goodwill. Interesting reading, getting a few ideas and wondering if anyone else has any opinions. Tillie

50 shades of shit, at least from the perspective of a real hard core BDSM player.

I read about 1/2-2/3 of it a couple of months ago and gave it up. After a while, it did not hold my interest. I am not interested in hurting people or being hurt by them. Regarding enemas specifically (not that the book makes a point of them), I think they should be an enjoyable experience.

hankb

Jds, technically you are right. The book is notoriously misleading in terms of what BDSM consists of, as well as the terms on which people participate in BDSM. However you have to give the book some credit for generating discussions such as these. I would also like to give some credit to Tillie for bringing it up. At least the so-called novel has inspired people to ask questions about kinky relationships and activities, and consider putting them into practice. I believe that as a result, many people have made some important discoveries about themselves and about the fact that there are different types of love and a variety of ways to express and experience love. From researching other resources on the topics contained, of course. Such as right here on zity, for example. Don't lies eventually lead to the truth?

I've read them. Good for killing time on a long flight.

I've never done any BDSM myself, but from what I've read it would seem that people have their individual kinks and turn-ons. So my guess is that some people who consider themselves into BDSM will find the books realistic, and some won't despite considering themselves BDSM practicioners. Each to his or her own.

@Jds I TOTALLY agree with you. I couldn't even finish that book bc along with the chick being insipid and the "grey" actually being quite vanilla, the writing was terrible. Absolutely horrible.

I could not read it much. More so for the writing style than the scenes of bondage. But I should try to get through it before the movie comes out in February.

If we looked back on the early books in some genres, at this point they would seem simple. I'm currently reading "My Simple Life." It was written in the victorian era, and is all about sex. Kinda like a war movie or the Transformers is all about action or violence every other minute. Fanny Hill may have been written better, but is simpler than what we would have now.

Although 50 Shades is not a literary masterpiece, it needs to be applauded for the effect that it has had on the acceptance of BDSM thoughts in the mainstream (U.S.?) minds of people. I know at least one woman who has opened up her eyes to feelings that were lurking below her conciousness for so many years of her life.

Just as Andy Kaufman's early comedy was devised to egg people, and get reactions, this book very much succeeds in bringing a whip or ropes into so many bedrooms.

You do not need to be a "hard core" BDSM player to enjoy an occasional romp down that road. My wife and I ( and a few girlfriends before that) have engaged in spanking( paddles, strap and cane), pegging, enemas, "shrimping" and do not consider us to me "dominant" or " submissive", but a little kinky on occasion, although I am the one who is usually spanked. I did have a girlfriend at one time who was a switch, however. She also liked to be spanked and take enemas. But, now as we are older, we play like less seldom. Not that it has lost interest, but the desire to do it quickly goes. I have not read "Fifty Shades" and I do not plan to.

Have pretty much put the book down, not as I expected, probably will end back up at Goodwill. Tillie

Tillie,

I should have mentioned something before- if you want to "get ideas," there are of course many informative books about sex, kinky activities, and BDSM, as well as countless articles on the internet and posts here on zity. There are extremely informative instructional guides, and even erotic fiction that is probably higher quality and researched better than 50 Shades. As with most pursuits, you can spend your whole life reading about erotic stuff and still learn valuable new things all the time. The 50 Shades books may be a waste of time, but you should never be discouraged from reading. There are so many great resources out there to read, no one could live long enough to read them all.

Just look at all the books available here:

http://www.sheboptheshop.com/index.php?c=57&display=all

Here are some more on a different site that sells many of the same titles:

http://www.stockroom.com/Erotica-C266.aspx

You can find these books on amazon as well, and many bookstores will carry them.

I am not affiliated with any of the retailers I mention above.

I know the BDSM community believes that this movie will be a ridiculous representation of their lifestyle, and I understand why.

However, my vanilla wife has suggested we go see it this weekend as part of our annual Valentines/Anniversary (33rd) weekend.

While I'm confident that the movie will help her arousal for some decent sex that evening, I'm curious/hopeful that it might be a nice lead in to experiment with some light BDSM.

With that said, do any of you experienced practitioners have any advice on what might be some reasonable activities for first timers?

The biggest restriction would be my wife's bad knee restricts her from doggie position.

KISS. Try very light bondage (bathrobe belt, scarves, neckties) as a lead in. Nothing that can't be easily escaped from, just voluntary bondage leading to gentle power exchange. It doesn't even matter who's on Top. Simple and non-threatening.

KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid

Hi Dear Doug 😃

The Book Sucks , Badly Written :| But The Movie I Belive Would Be Kinda SEXy To watch ^_^

Go For Spanking by hand Instead OF Hairbrush as First Time ...... If she Likes it you can go for that too .....

For Nipples You Can Go For Spring Loaded Wooden clothespin

😃

~Cookie

Doug, There are many people in the BDSM community that have some form of restrictions or handicaps, yet still manage to enjoy themselves. Compromise and communication are the answers. As another member suggested, keep it light and simple, and as your wife begins to enjoy it (hopefully) you can slowly advance from there. The secret to success is mutual enjoyment.

scott

Hi Dear Doug 😃

The Book Sucks , Badly Written :| But The Movie I Belive Would Be Kinda SEXy To watch ^_^

Go For Spanking by hand Instead OF Hairbrush as First Time ...... If she Likes it you can go for that too .....

For Nipples You Can Go For Spring Loaded Wooden clothespin

😃

~Cookie

I'd stay away from any pain at first unless she specifically asks for it. This is just a first (kinky) date. Don't expect to get to kinky 3rd base.

I'd stay away from any pain at first unless she specifically asks for it. This is just a first (kinky) date. Don't expect to get to kinky 3rd base.

Right 😃)

Absolutely take her to see this movie. It will open her vanilla eyes.

As with any activity, start slow. BDSM is NOT about clubbing someone over the head, dragging them into a cave and going to town. It is very much a mental activity. And it is all about what she likes. I am into BDSM, and there are many things I do not like, I like to be spanked on my butt, but NEVER EVER slapped on my face!

Try a blindfold, light spanks on her butt, hold her hands above her head to Restrain her, if you are both inexperienced start super slow. Plan what you are going to do.

Take suggestions from the movie, but tone them down. If she likes nipple stimulation and you want to try nipple clamps, try clothes pins on YOUR finger first. Stimulate her nipples with mouth and hand first, place them on the aereola NOT THE TIP.

Just use common sense.

NEVER tie anyone up without reading about it and always play safe. That means never tie anyone up.

LadyM

This movie is sure to have a cult following like Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I heard theaters near me have let it be known that they are permitting Fetish costume wear but are prohibiting people from bringing things like rope, chain and whips to the theater.

Absolutely take her to see this movie. It will open her vanilla eyes.

As with any activity, start slow. BDSM is NOT about clubbing someone over the head, dragging them into a cave and going to town. It is very much a mental activity. And it is all about what she likes. I am into BDSM, and there are many things I do not like, I like to be spanked on my butt, but NEVER EVER slapped on my face!

Try a blindfold, light spanks on her butt, hold her hands above her head to Restrain her, if you are both inexperienced start super slow. Plan what you are going to do.

Take suggestions from the movie, but tone them down. If she likes nipple stimulation and you want to try nipple clamps, try clothes pins on YOUR finger first. Stimulate her nipples with mouth and hand first, place them on the aereola NOT THE TIP.

Just use common sense.

NEVER tie anyone up without reading about it and always play safe. That means never tie anyone up.

LadyM

Tone it down?? The movie and book are TAME.

Nipples, good clamps are a must! As far as location of the clamp goes, the clamp should engage just under the base of the nipple, otherwise, when you pull on it, 😈 the clamp will pull off.

Never tie anyone up?? I'd have little to do if I didn't tie people up first. 😁

If I had to guess...at this movie, there will be an inordinate amount of jewelry being worn....rosebuds, buttplugs...you name it....crowd watching should be a trip....yeah...it's tame stuff...for player like us...but for the newbies and old folks that find this taboo....it will impress them no doubt.

It's an R rated movie. How can they show anal jewelry and butt plugs in situ in an R rated movie?

The most you could expect is to see the props and toys on a bed or in someone's hand.

It's an R rated movie. How can they show anal jewelry and butt plugs in situ in an R rated movie?

The most you could expect is to see the props and toys on a bed or in someone's hand.

I think they meant the audience

Susie....the jewelry...? the buttplugs...? I'm talking about the audience, girl....chuckles....watching the young chicks waddle to their seats ought to be hilarious.....

OK, OK. Got it.

What an excellent way to start the cult following Susie! I will be surprised if it actually has legs, but maybe they will shock us with a half decent movie.

The book was full of incredible masochism bc it was so BADLY, badly written, painfully so. And it was tame. And vapid and dull.....and Maddow pointed out that good ole Alabama in the big red south has had the MOST advanced ticket sales and sold out shows. Lol.

. . . .Maddow pointed out that good ole Alabama in the big red south has had the MOST advanced ticket sales and sold out shows. Lol.

That must be because the people are so repressed and suppressed down there and this gives them an outlet.

I think so. Alas, I spent 9.50 to see the flick today and it was horrid. Even moreso bc I never finished the book, so the end of the film seemed odd.

Vanilla people will think it's great. But it's different to us like the difference between Erotic and kinky.....Erotic you use a feather and Kinky you use the whole bird ! Everybody here is pretty much into the whole bird

I also didn't like the subtext that there has to be or is something "wrong" with him. Not sure if that's conveyed in the book. The movie, it wasn't a film, said that it was "based on" the book, which is what they usually say, so I don't know how closely it followed it.

Actually, I don't think it's a good movie to go see if you want to entice a partner to play with power exchange etc. It is depicted very badly.

I hear the book is so poorly written that you have to be a masochist just to read it through! Then again, the book is supposed to be nothing more than pornographic, and porn is never meant to be held to very high standards in terms of storytelling. Additionally, people tend to agree that most porn gives an inaccurate and unrealistic portrayal of what real sex looks like.

As for the movie misrepresenting the BDSM community, movies have been misrepresenting and stereotyping people of all walks of life for decades and decades. Some movies can be artistic, enlightening, and/or progressive, but most movies tend to misinform audiences and reinforce stereotypes regarding women, minorities, countries outside of America, the haves, the have-nots, the mentally ill, you name it. Not to mention that fact that even the vanilla side of sexuality is often misrepresented in movies.

So it is no surprise if this movie follows the same trend of inaccuracy that most movies do.