Transgender

Hi I'm not sure what I am,can anyone help? Since I've been 9 I've always played with two to three boys in my neighborhood Till I was 14 experimenting touching other boy's dick's playing doctor sticking small things in each others ass.now I don't want to get ahead of myself. There was never a problem in my home with my family seeing each other from time to time naked it wasn't a big deal. My sister's bedroom was across from mine and sometime I would see her in her full corset with garters and stockings, a slip. It was early 60's. When everyone went out I would find myself going through her stuff trying things on I felt so sexy.And I didn't even know why I was doing what I was doing.The next thing I know I'm playing with myself, and did not know what happened when I came. After a while I started to wonder about the douche/enema bag hanging on the shower curtain.I've had enemas when mom thought I needed one, and now found myself giving myself one and playing with my dick till I came. All I know was I was Hooked. I always liked girls and started dating them at 14 and I guess I started getting away from my own play time,school, sports,girls,But always played with myself. I wasn't always a good student and had to go to summer school. One of my teachers always came by early and would take a couple of us for donuts before school, I guess I never put it together .At 17 I joined the Navy never had or saw anything gay going on. There was a strip in Norfolk Va. with a dirty book store I found and went there to watch xxx and play with myself,I became familiar with the guy who worked there and started giving and receiving blowjobs I wasn't gay just horny I believe. when I got out about a year later I kept thinking about my old teacher and decided to go visit him. Boy was he happy to see me,we made a date to meet that Saturday. He picked me up early and I got in his car he told me to slid over by him we went for a ride and he started putting his hand on my leg going further and further up till he was rubbing my crotch I knew what was happening but was I nervous butterflies I guess you'd say. He made me feel wanted and I loved it I wanted what ever was coming next. We planned to go to the ymca to swim and go into the sauna all his Idea,I just wanted to go back to my apt to suck his cock. I could not control myself with my hornyness when we got back to my place and stripped wow what a nice cock he treated me so nice and gentle, I loved the attention.I started giving him a blowjob while he was laying on his back I wanted to please him so bad and not thinking ahead, the next thing I know he was playing with me lubing my dick and then I felt him by my ass lubing it up I was nervous and wasn't thinking of him fucking me.He asked me to climb on top and sit on it I guess he didn't have to ask me twice and there I was riding cock, he pulled me close and held me making love to me he was so gentle I didn't want him to stop I sat back up trying to get him deeper inside me lust took over and as he touched my dick I could feel him explode inside me and thats all it took Hooked again and why I don't know.Now at the sametime I was just starting to see a girl that was 16 years older than me I Moved in with her and lived with her for 7 years we had good sex she liked enemas and anal and I enjoyed it,But dressing up was still on my mind. I tried to bring it up and she wasn't interested.Another time I asked and she said she would try and help me. I went shopping and bought everything I use to wear of my sisters. Well I got dressed and she wasnt much help she said it wasn't her thing. Sucks for me. well I guess I grew out of it. I got married and divorced after 20 years. The sex life always sucked with my wife.I'm 59 now and living with a women that I told everything to.She lets me dress and roleplays with me but I'm all ways and I mean always think of sucking cock getting fucked by cock all dressed up, even her strapon doesn't do it for me anymore and don't know how I got this way. Can anybody help tell me why I'm such a sissy in a guys body??? Bobbie joe

Cross dressing is very different from Transgender. You seem to be comfortable with your physical gender. You seem to enjoy sex with another man, no big deal, lots of guys do. Cross dressing is a bit less common but completely understandable.

Therapy might be an option for you, not to fix anything, but for you to come to grips with who you are. That usually takes work but is worth the result. Be wary of therapists that seek to 'fix' you.

I would agree with Jds4med, psychoanalysis might help but, it is not a science, more a craft / work in progress about the human condition

If you know what you prefer and have resolved guilt, there is no harm in being yourself. Perhaps consider others who may care about you and discretion is perhaps wise?. Your preferences were set in your earlier life (as it is in everybody), no harm in enjoying it, practising safe sex, of course, this is the number one method of getting AIDS so very great care) .

Dressing up can be great fun , even more with another, penetration isn't always the only outcome when dressing up. For some women it is very off putting as they may well be expect a manly man, and face the loss of their own fantasy being fulfilled. so perhaps 'swinging' from one to the other in turn may satisfy both (and is a whole lot of fun ).

These days, there are plenty of therapists that specialize in gender issues. It doesn't have to be traditional psychoanalysis. It can be a tool to understand your own issues, not to fix anything.

I identify as transgender and slide back and forth between male and female. I think I am more comfortable with myself when I am toward the female end of the continuum and definitely like females more then males, especially the more masculine males. I have nothing against them, I just can't seem to identify with them or understand them.

As I reflect on my life, I realize what a gift I received being transgender. I have experienced life as both male and female. I have enjoyed so much more in life and have felt so many different emotions. I am very grateful. If a genie appeared out of a lamp and said I could “cure” my ways and become 100% male, I would put her back in the bottle. Now, if she offered 100% female, I would have to thing about that.

As I reflect on my life, I realize what a gift I received being transgender. I have experienced life as both male and female. I have enjoyed so much more in life and have felt so many different emotions. I am very grateful.

Having a choice is always better than having none. You are indeed lucky with your ability to experience life as either gender. And you have expressed it very nicely and positively as well.

The best to you in future years.

The woman was into enemas and anal but couldn't handle dressing up? that is an enigma. Crossdressing doesn't hurt anybody and she could have learned to love it. In my opinion anyway. Oh well.

The best way I found girls that were curious enough to want to see me dressed up like a girl was to shop at the same dress shop over and over till the girls knew me well and ask me to come over to their house and dress up for them. Those girls wanted to keep doing it as a secret play time for them.

As far as you need to get done in you arse by a guy, you should mention this to your girl, as she is already doing you with a strap-on, so she may let you bring home a guy to try it out, you could also mention that she might be able to get a few thrills from him doing her as well. You have nothing to loose by asking.

My sister had a few guys come over onetime and i did oral on them and they enjoyed as much as i, but as i'm a girlie sissy that will never grow up, i will never be big enough to have someone penetrate my rear. I will always be a sissy girl forever.

You could find a man who gets off on sex with a cross-dresser. Try haunting gay bars, see who's hitting on the cross-dressers or transwomen. Or pay. The drawback is disease, of course. Ever hear of HIV, AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia? I'm in San Francisco, where the term AIDS was invented. Seems young gays aren't afraid of it enough to stop barebacking.

Transgender, cross-dresser, transvestite, sissy, she-male - Ugh!- so many terms... confusing to say the least! I wear women's underwear, but male outerwear - so that makes me, I guess, an underwear cross-dresser... I've also paraded around in garters and stockings for the pleasure of men - so that makes me what? - sissy, transvestite? As for my mindset; I do not identify with men, yet I wouldn't want to be a full-blown woman capable of having kids.

Lots of terms and labels and how many fit. I don't agree with the plethora of terms in “the community” nowadays. I am very much a male in some ways and female in others. Granted I have a penis, but enjoy lots of girls stuff and would like to have sex as a woman. The compromise I would love is for males to have natural boobs too. The world would be peaceful, play with my boobs and myself!