I have gone through all the same feelings as everyone else, guilt, shame, feeling sick and alone.
I finally began to search for a therapist that would help me deal with the diaper issue, but as you can Imagine, I had talked to probably 10 therapists before I could get one that would agree to talk about this issue. Most of them said there was nothing they could do but frankly, I think the topic freaked most of them out and since most had never even heard of this issue, I'm sure they related it with children somehow. Which we all know is not true. I finally contacted a therapist that agreed to see me. (I would only talk to a female therapist because I just felt way out of place talking to a male therapist about my wearing diapers).
The person I see now seems to have no problem talking about this issue and we have started from my first diaper desire to my loving the smell of pissy diapers to the sexual feelings I get from diapers to wanting a Mommy, etc. I also told her I would not wear a diaper to therapy as it is a sexual thing and I would probably start to hope she would want to change me. She said she understood but if I felt that wearing a diaper to therapy would help, that she would have no problem with it. I immediately told her that her statement will get me to thinking she is encouraging my fantasy (I hoped). She said she was only trying to help me feel comfortable in dealing with any guilt or shame I might have over my diaper desires. She is wonderful. But I will continue to keep things professional even though now (deep down) I am beginning to hope this actually turns her on. I will probably ask her directly because she encourages me to be open with all my diaper feelings at all times. Regardless of where this goes, it has been a great experience for me to sit with and woman and openly discuss every detail of my diaper life. She has actually helped me to understand that my diaper desires are no big deal and she likened it to a man with a desire to dress as a woman. She said diaper fetishes, while maybe not as mainstream as other fetishes, are just as harmless and if that's what I like than what's the big deal. No matter where the desire comes from, that is who I am and should not feel bad about it.
Whew.........I feel like I just had another therapy session.......anyway, she has helped me to accept who I am and what I like to do. It has and will continue to be a very good thing to be able to discuss this very openly with someone outside the diaper world. I recommend this to anyone......