Am I a submissive

Because I enjoy it when the doctor makes me undress and touches me in ways that only my husband does during sex. My doctor appointments are a huge turn on, I'm horny for days before my appointment and for days afterwards. I love it when he looks at me and say's undress. Does that make me a submissive ?

Not necessarily, and that isn't a bad thing.

You would be submissive if you were forced or coerced to follow their directions. Simply doing what they asked does not make you a submissive. It makes you a willing partner, which many men would find a wonderful characteristic!

I don't think that makes you necessarily submissive. It's just a feeling you enjoy.

"Submissive" is such a broad term.... You would have to tell us much more about yourself to be able to reach a conclusion. What about the exams turns you on the most? Do you get equally turned on by female doctors? Are you submissive in other ways?

Well, and does wanting to be on the receiving end ( of an enema, rectal temp taking, spanking, etc.) wanting to be CONTROLED & surrender control, make U a "sub"?

There is a difference between a sub and a bottom. If you are submissive in your vanilla then chances are you are a sub. However if you are only submissive in the bedroom that means perhaps you are a bottom. In any event good for you to get so excited by your doctors touch. On the other hand I am an extremely dominant guy in both my vanilla world and the bedroom. However I do like to give up total control on occasion to my partner. It is an escape for me. Does that make me a sub?

I feel a sense of vulnerability, embarrassment and sometimes shame every time my partner or another takes my temperature. I just feel like I have no choice but surrender and I like that I find a certain release to it. I am not sure if that means I am sub, but I do think I am. I am a sub to my partner not because I am forced to but because I believe he should take the lead. But at the same time, I like getting same as giving. Sub or high sub?

If you enjoy someone doing things to you, even just a few mild thing,s then you have submissive tendencies. Great. It is often the anticipation of what they are going to do that is more delicious than the real thing. Preparation, anticipation, examination and approval are dizzying, you have submissiveness all over you.

there is a difference between a sub and a bottom. If you are submissive in your vanilla then chances are you are a sub. However if you are only submissive in the bedroom that means perhaps you are a bottom. In any event good for you to get so excited by your doctors touch. On the other hand I am an extremely dominant guy in both my vanilla world and the bedroom. However I do like to give up total control on occasion to my partner. It is an escape for me. Does that make me a sub?

I'm in the same boat. I usually play from the top. I don't consider myself a Dom because I don't expect my control to extend beyond the scene.

With certain people in certain circumstances, I love to bottom - not submit. Yes Virginia, there's a huge difference.

Not at all, you just follow doctor's instructions which everybody does. This does not make you submissive

I'm in the same boat. I usually play from the top. I don't consider myself a Dom because I don't expect my control to extend beyond the scene.

With certain people in certain circumstances, I love to bottom - not submit. Yes Virginia, there's a huge difference.

My husband and I switch off being dominant and submissive in the bedroom in very sensual to very severe S&M scenes.

Our power exchange extends only as far as our scene. In daily life, neither of us would tolerate being submissive.

Not at all, you just follow doctor's instructions which everybody does. This does not make you submissive

If you have a good physician and you trust him, following your doc's instructions makes you a good, compliant patient that should enjoy the benefits of selecting a good, experienced doctor.

I am very confused about this dominate and submissive - I like having my clothes taken off, my hair pulled, and 'taken' but I have no idea what the hell makes dominate and submissive. Is there someplace I can read about this? What do I search for - on here, as far as learning more about this. I have sometimes thought I am submissive - but in my life there is no way in hell I want to be little miss meek and mild.

Never mind - I think I found someplace to begin looking here in Zity.Biz.

@LoraC

Only because it bothers the hell of out me, the term for the noun, the person, is a DOMINANT.

DOMINATE is the verb.

This is an extremely common error people make.

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See these books. In my opinion, in priority order from the top of the list down

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction1996

by Jay Wiseman

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Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and SubmissionJan 13, 1996

by William Brame and Gloria Brame

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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism1995

by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

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Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M LovemakingJan 1993

by Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin

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The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other AdventuresMar 10, 2009

by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

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Ties That Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style: Issues, Commentaries and AdviceFeb 1993

by Guy Baldwin and Joseph W. Bean

@Lora C don't get hung up on the labels. I believe the relationship and likes of being the elgtlthhhp are more related to the partner you are with, not labeling yourself. I believe interactions are tailored to the people weare with.

I am not submissive in my normal life roles...actually quite the opposite...but choosing to submit...that act of surrender requires trust for me....leaving me vulnerable. All the more meaningful in submitting to thatspecial someone.

warmly,

L qn

My husband and I switch off being dominant and submissive in the bedroom in very sensual to very severe S&M scenes.

Our power exchange extends only as far as our scene. In daily life, neither of us would tolerate being submissive.

Same (almost) in my last relationship. It was with a transgender couple (both MtF). We practiced hard core S&M. One of them was dominant in the dungeon, the other submissive. I switched, top and bottom, but not submissive past the scene. In the vanilla world, the two women switched roles. The dynamics were, well, confusing.

I love being a submissive and being ordered to due things

How did submissive become some kind of a bad trait, like that is not desired by many as well? And why are we becoming so hung up on labels? Not everything needs be so simplified, nor do people need to fit in neat little boxes. We are getting into some pretty ridiculous semantic exercises here anyway.

How did submissive become some kind of a bad trait, like that is not desired by many as well? And why are we becoming so hung up on labels? Not everything needs be so simplified, nor do people need to fit in neat little boxes. We are getting into some pretty ridiculous semantic exercises here anyway.

Who said it was bad?

Labels are sort of necessary for effective communication. How do you set up a play date if you don't discuss preferences. Preferences carry shorthand descriptions called labels.

If I'm trying to communicate with the kink world, it's necessary for people to state their preference. If I'm talking to a Dom who is looking for a submissive servant and I'm looking for a simple session as a bottom, labels are the way to clarify that.

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How did submissive become some kind of a bad trait, like that is not desired by many as well? And why are we becoming so hung up on labels? Not everything needs be so simplified, nor do people need to fit in neat little boxes. We are getting into some pretty ridiculous semantic exercises here anyway.

First let me say LABELS ARE PERFECTLY FINE AND I LIKE LABELS and political correctness sucks.

Labels keep you organized and helps keep definitions clear. As far as fitting people into little boxes is concerned, people can be fitted into more than one neat little box if necessary.

Nobody said being submissive was bad. Some people like to be submissive, others don't.

@Switchablesusie - SM 101: A Realistic Introduction1996 by Jay Wiseman is a Kindle book 😄 and it is pretty good reading, so far. Thanks for the tip - also for your input on Dominant and Dominate, and your not liking - - political correctness. 😉

Labels - who gives a shit? I'm an enema loving grandma who loves her hair pulled - and a cocksucker, recently doing the wild thing with another woman. Yeah - I'm just starting. 😄

Not at all,

You just like to be undressed. Sex arouse you.

Submissive? Not really, just like to be kinky on occasion. I think few people are really submissive in their daily lives, but I could be wrong. I like to be spanked on occasion, I like my mate to give me an enema on occasion or peg me. That does not make me a submissive.

Labels are useful to help us group things (or people) together. It lets us have a quick reference that makes communications and thinking easier. But especially when applied to people, we need to make sure that using labels has enough uncertainty around the edges so the value of grouping doesn't turn into rigid rules. People aren't well defined by rigid rules as we all have uncertainty, imprecision and we change over time.

I wouldn't worry about whether the 'perfect' term for yourself is submissive, or slave, or bottom, or kinky, or anything else in particular. Know what you like, know what you dislike, and always be aware that the longest list will be of things you don't really know if you like. (Try to have a few of those on your "let's try this" list.)

Good luck guiding your partner to maximum satisfaction, and keep having those regular checkups.

I've just finished - The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures Mar 10, 2009. Not all - most, of it doesn't pertain to this old girl, but I can see myself in a lot of what was written. But in relationship to my 'age' at - or being pretty new, to what I've experienced since coming here, there are a lot of things that do apply. It would have been better reading - before husband #1, #2, and the boyfriends before or between. I've read a couple of the books Switchablesusie suggested - they are not what I expected, at least it wasn't what may have been intended by the people who wrote the books. What I took away from the things I have read - so far, has a helluva lot to do with communication between two people, not just the tie this knot this way, spank them this way. No - most of it was about communication between two people, or mainly with yourself. Like knowing the difference between 'dominate' and 'dominant' - paying attention to the details, reading the signs, but mostly having my head and ass wired together.

I'd have to say - I am a submissive, but I have been learning that being submissive doesn't mean being without power. The trust you have to have with the other - man or woman, I am trying to work it out with the concept that, as a submissive, I have a lot to say about how much my 'dominant' partner can 'dominate' me. And I have FINALLY - maybe, caught on to the possible meaning of 'switchable', like maybe roles can be switched between two people. I am exploring a lot - and the more I explore, the more I learn about who I am, or was, and that I am different things to different people.

In a lot of ways - I know more, but at the same time, I don't now diddly.

I've been able to find these two books on Amazon.com in the Kindle editions and I've ordered them, and will be giving these a look. I found the titles from a posting further down below with a suggestion that the books be read in order. So I will give that a try, but these are the two that I now have.

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction1996 by Jay Wiseman.

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Jan 13, 1996 by William Brame and Gloria Brame

Thank you to the one who posted the list. That would be Switchablesusie.

You're welcome!

I love being submissive, and a doctor telling me to undress in front of them, or inviting others in to watch exam I find very satisfying

To be a submissive is comming more or less from each character and it also depends on the situation.

Submissive not sure. Even if you were extremely dominant you would still need medicals and still have to undress so really is out of your hands so sub or dom really does not come into it.