I am not young anymore and erections are not as readily available as they used to be. However, an enema almost always produces those old familiar ‘hard feelings!’
Recently I had a colonoscopy, but during the pre-screening I was found to be inadequately prepped. I was offered the choice to reschedule (and be billed for a ‘missed appointment’) or be given enemas and see if that would clear me enough for the procedure. I, of course, chose the enemas.
The admitting nurse was a fortyish woman and kind of ‘Rubenesque’ but pretty in blue scrubs. She said I'd be getting a 1500cc saline enema to see if that worked. I was, by now, naked except for my socks and the open-back hospital johnnie on a gurney inside an emergency room cubicle with an open curtain separating me from several other similar cubes around the room. It was not the most private setting!
The nurse left and returned with a full disposable enema set, pulled the curtain, hung the bag on the IV stand attached to the gurney and told me, “roll over onto your left side, right knee up toward your chest and we'll get started.” She lifted the blanket and folded my gown exposing my butt. She lifted my right ass cheek and said, OK Hon, I'm going to put the tube in now." And she did! “She asked, ”everything OK, Hon?" I nodded and she said, "alright, I'm going to start the water." And she did! I should tell you that she was saying all this in a conversational tone and volume. I am sure those in adjoining cubes could hear it all.
The warm saline, added to the nurse's hand on my butt holding the tube, and the very thought of receiving an enema from someone other than my wife, was producing an erection normally reserved for Viagra or Cialis! I was rock hard - which would have great except where I was and the fact that eventually I would have to turn back over and head for the toilet. I tried thinking the most horrible thoughts: Rachael Maddow, my peculiar proclivity being made public, even broccoli! Nothing worked.
Too soon, the nurse announce the bag was empty and asked if I could hold it for a couple of minutes. I croaked, “Yes, I'll be OK." She removed the tube, and said I could roll over onto my back. Before I could say anything, she pulled me over and the tent pole in the blanket was readily apparent! Mercifully she did not react shocked or amused. Instead she said in a near whisper, “It's OK Hon, I have give enemas to a lot of men here and it happens to many of them. I've seen it before and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It just happens. It even happens to my 10 year old son when I give him an enema. You just concern yourself with holding that water in." Little consolation.
A short time later I had to make the walk of shame to the bathroom with her holding the back of my gown closed while I walked hunched over to conceal my little friend poking out the front of my gown. I declined her offer to stay with me while I evacuated and, thankfully, as I emptied, my condition eroded. I could not flush before they checked the results - more embarrassment. I was still found to be not clear enough, so I got a second full bag of saline. Thankfully, I did not have a repeat performance of the 'hard time' experienced during the first enema.
The result: After all that I was clear enough, the colonoscopy proceeded and except for a few benign polyps, I am fine.
So, “YES” enemas can produce an erection, even when you don't want one!