What turns a person into being bi?

My cousin and I would jack our cocks together when we were about 8.

I moved away until my senior year of high school. ( I always had a girlfriend) We were hanging out watching porn one night. A lesbian scene came on. I asked "why is it ok for 2 women to be together but not 2 guys". He just shugged. I had his cock in my mouth seconds later. We sucked eachother. Then fucked eachother. We would do this every once in awhile.

I went into the Army. Got married...

I started thinking about sucking cock. One night I told my wife about my previous experience and that for some reason I wanted to suck a cock. She said she was ok with it. We went to a gay bar. Found a guy willing. I sucked and swallowed him. She was so turned on.

I get to have one on one encounters too, but I really love it when she watches me sucking a huge cock. Sometimes we suck together.

At least your wife understood you xsmu99 about your bi-sexual experiences not too many women do, maybe she has them too. 😃

I think my interest in other men is just for sex. I guess that is considered bi as I also am just as interested in women. when I was 4-5 yrs old, the neighbor boy, about 9 or 10 would talk me into sitting with our pants pulled down. When I was about 10 or 11, one night he stayed over and he reached over and started rubbing my penis. When I rolled over, he started dry humping my butt. This happened a dozen times or so over the next 5 years till one night he actually slipped and it went in. OMG did that hurt. I didnt like him humping me but wished he would touch my penis again but didnt do it too often. That same summer, we were swimming at night and he caught me and pulled off my suit, pulled me into his lap and was stroking me till I was rock hard. He then stuck his dick in me. After a minute he came inside me and then left me alone. All these encounters with him didnt really excite me too much because I never got off. Then when I was 19, I stayed at his parents house. I slept on the floor in the living room and his younger brother came down and snuck up behind me. He started playing with me then he sucked me till I came in his mouth. Then He mounted me and rode me hard till I couldnt take it any more. At that point, I decided I LIKED being with guys too! My ass was soo sore but I went upstairs to the bathroom and jacked off and came 2 more times. I was sooo horny!!

I try to be open. I was open to women, and having a great time. My husband, he likes men sometimes, but younger guys. Everyone has their kinks! It's just life!

I see a lot of older guys on sites who have been straight their whole lives for the most part, and because their wives are going through menopause &/or have lost interest, i see guys turning to other guys. That seems to be a big scenario that turns these men into being bi.

You can say because they're older, they care less about what's looked down upon, and are more brave to be their true selves. You can say they had the inclination all along, just hadn't found the situation to embrace it. But the bottom line is, they don't begin to exhibit the behavior until there's a situation that make it look like the right time to bring that bi side to light.

Living in a society that now accepts gay and bi etc. sexuality also probably makes it easier for people to turn to that side of their character. Social acceptance goes a long way to easing tensions and overcoming older reservations.

In many countries there are social groups who still rage against gay/bi sexuality and condemn it, often voraciously. And in a way I can understand their bewilderment at how things have changed - for the better - over the years. I certainly don't condone their attitudes in any shape, way or form, but you have to admit that a lot of things have changed in a relatively short time. When I was young, consenting gay sex was still illegal in many countries. In the UK for instance only decriminalized in 1967.

Interesting discussion!! I love that!!

Over the years, I have gone from being completely straight to at this point at the least... bi-curious..... I've not been with another man sexually and just am not sure that I would desire to.... but whereas in My youth, I was homophobic and thought it completely disgusting for a man to be intimate with another man (probably from My religious upbringing), I have come to the conclusion that I should not resist My sometime urges and desires to at the least be OPEN to another man and his desires if the situation were to arise..... and in part because of the heart fetish that I discovered about MySelf when I was a boy in grade school, I have to say that I would at least be open to the possibility of My seducing another man's heart, as well as the possibility of his seduction of MY Heart, if it came to that..... does that make any sense?.... is there anybody out there interested in a possible heart seduction?.... lol....

I'll be honest.

When I and my friends were going through puberty, and even occasionally in young adulthood, we would "play around' with each other. We would jack off together, jack each other off, and even tried doing some oral stuff. Nothing serious, just playing around, but we were totally straight.

I have to admit that, as the years go on, even though I am happily married, I have been giving the idea of seeking out male...companionship... on occasion, and have had some homoerotic fantasies. Am I bi? Hell, I don't know. I've never acted on these thoughts, or even know how to begin to.

Men could never replace women as my sexual partner of choice, but still, I think it is normal, and not just in adolescence, to wonder "how the other half lives."

Healthy, as a Bi man I love your post and it is well thought out and well written, I think one of the biggest things for me is that my attraction to men and to women is for different reasons.

Some years ago I was lying in bed with my girlfriend of the time, we were watching television and drinking Brandy in a "sniffer" with Bud Light Chasers!! and I don't remember how he topic came up but right off the top of my head when questioned about I don't remember just exactly but my answer was,"I am Hopelessly Heterosexual!!!" (There is a lot more to the story ........ask and ye' shall receive!!)

Got Bud Light??????,

highwater

I have no idea, but it happened to me and I am still surprised. I think it does come down to getting older and not giving a shit anymore.

because they're older, they care less about what's looked down upon, and are more brave to be their true selves.

I feel like I need to be intimate with someone, like a very basic need that drives me to get a woman. They are so wonderfully curvy! Now I can be with a man and it can be very intense. Perhaps because it is new to me and also because I limit the encounters. I limited them at first because I didn't want a man again. I wasn't excited to see him again. But a few days would pass and I would think more about what I might want to do again. Then, I would find myself going for it and loving it. I have been transformed into a sex with sensuous people person. Women and men can be that for me now and I am cool with that. People around me might not, but that would be their problem.

Over the years, I have gone from being completely straight to at this point at the least... bi-curious..... I've not been with another man sexually and just am not sure that I would desire to.... but whereas in My youth, I was homophobic and thought it completely disgusting for a man to be intimate with another man (probably from My religious upbringing), I have come to the conclusion that I should not resist My sometime urges and desires to at the least be OPEN to another man and his desires if the situation were to arise

Pretty much my current story. And i bet there are so many more guys out there who would say the same thing. Just from what i've read on a few websites from guys. This is more prevalent than folks would imagine, especially because it's something that is kept very discreet and secretive. So the public has very little notion that this is actually going on behind the scenes. Getting to see a lot of what various media does not.

When I was registering for this place I was a little at a loss to describe my "Sexual Orientation". I put myself out here as "Straight" because, as of right now, that is what I am. I had hoped for a category as "Bi-Curious" because I really am becoming more committed to exploring sex with another woman. I really want that, but so far there are apparently strings attached before I can even explore this avenue with either of a couple of women I am interested in at this time.

The "Unsure" category is not an option for me, because I for sure love "Straight" sex with a man, my husband. At the same time, though, I want to give being with another woman a try, too. I may not like it or want to pursue it, but I have to try this. I have talked to my husband about this and, he is leery, but willing to let me explore that little side road and see where it goes. He probably has ulterior motives, like watching or something, and right now I'm not ruling that out.

I thought about the "Heteroflexible" category, but to me that implies that I know for sure I am, indeed, "Heteroflexible." I do not know this about me right now to choose that category. Strictly speaking, if I do get the chance to have sex with another woman, I would be engaging in a "Homosexual" act while at the same time loving "Heterosexual" and thereby I could choose "Bisexual".

So for right now, I am "Straight" with "Homosexual" yearnings making me "Heteroflexible" until I find out what I like. When I first read this thread (?) I could see how some people wouldn't like to be "labeled" and restricted or stigmatized because of feeling a certain way. But the more I explore here, the more I see the need to be able to describe just what it is I want and where it is I want to go. Being able to put a "label" on it isn't going to restrict me, but it might be able to help me get to where I'm going.

And for those who read my profile, I am "Straight" because there isn't a "Bi-Curious" or "Heteroflexible-Wannabe" category.

We all do have choices.... sexuality can be somewhat fluid. I am gay I do not see myself as ever being capable of turning Straight but I suppose it is theoretically possible that I could become bi in that I could learn to enjoy sex with a female (this is not something i have ever tried and indeed when younger the idea of having sex with a female made me ill so I can understand straight guys who are repulsed by the idea of gay sex since the idea of heterosexual sex was repellent to me. Turning bi is most likely always just a matter of acknowledging true feelings since most people are to some extent bisexual (indeed over 30% of young people today self identify as bisexual).. For someone like myself or completely straight to turn bi would likely be an admission that the sexual acts with the other sexual choice feels good and we might as well enjoy it. I know well that in prisons, the army, and boarding schools homoerotic if not downright homosexual behavior happens a lot among heterosexuals. I have even known guys who for whatever reason when their wives are no longer having sexual congress with them say to themselves I remember the fun I had back then and will do that now. I find it interesting to hear men talk about how then could never have a sexual act in the presence of another man when I have suspect the majority did as teenagers. I have no interest in turning bi or even turning a straight man bi but various situations can make strange bedfellows out of us all. If i were stuck on an island for 50 years with only a woman would we have sex, I don't know... I have encountered enough horny straight men who have said 'could I pretend you were a woman' to know that in the case of being trapped on an island for 50 years with a straight man to know something likely would happen. We are sexual beings and to quote Alfred Kinsey "The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform."

I think most females have bisexual tendencies to a point. Growing up my best friend and i would hold hands and hug. No big deal. Then when I caught my sister masturbating and she convinced me that it was safe of course I had to show my best friend. It was more experimenting. . . . .

I sincerely doubt most females have bisexual tendencies. I have spoken freely with a number of women including my mother and "most" is definitely an overstatement. "Some to many" girls will try it and experiment, as you described, but they will not continue after doing their experiments. Experimenting doesn't make anyone bisexual. It's just experimenting and learning about your body.

There are highly sexual, very horny women I know who have no interest at all in a tryst with another woman. When I was about 30 years old and my mother was in her late 50s, I asked my mother who I know is a monster in bed, prefacing the question by saying I had been with women, if she was ever with or had any interest in being with another woman. She said with a laugh, "eeww, licking a pussy is a man's job!"

It is sort of hard to say unless you do your own study.

https://www.google.com/search?q=do+most+females+have+bisexual+tendencies&rlz=1C1PRFA_enUS432&oq=do+most+females+have+bisexual+tendencies&aqs=chrome..69i57.6710j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I was never turned bi, it's what I always was.

That's not what I always admitted to being, to myself or others, but I had always assumed everyone felt the same way towards both genders, and only acted on the attraction to ONE of those.

So I genuinely believed I was straight, even after acknowledging i was attracted to women, and calling it things like 'heteroflexible' or 'just curious' made it easier to blend in with people who were really straight, which was where I thought I belonged.

The open and frank discussions on zity was one of the things that displayed what straight people do and don't like, and realise that my own tastes don't match up. Of course, enjoying sex with girls was a pretty fucking big hint too, but I'm not always the brightest crayola in the pack.

So although I have called myself different things, from straight, to heteroflexible, to bi, my preferences in terms of gender have not changed.

I have always just been straight and when I was small and growing up I always knew it was just men (not boys really) who I was interested in. When I was old enough to get him I started to see a sexy man and I kept him and he is everything I have wanted. I have never thought I was missing a thing by not having sex with other women or having relationships with them. I have got 2 old school friends who are bi but I am sure all the rest of them are like me and only like men. I think @SwitchableSusie is right, I do not think most women have got bisexual tendencies either.

A little over three years ago - I wrote a post https://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=617296 here where I said that

Even asking this - it's not something I really understand. All I know is that it isn't as cut and dried as I once thought - teaching an old dog new tricks.

There's been a lot of life since then - and being here at Zity.Biz has helped me get a handle on a lot of things, one of them being, when all is said and done, I am bi-sexual, but mostly heteroflexible. While I very much prefer a cock - being with another woman, the right woman, is very rewarding and fantastic. 😃

I don't think I - 'turned bi' or was 'turned' so much as it was always probably there inside of me. My first woman - Gibby, understood what I wanted, and who I was, and that I would probably have some qualms in actually putting my face in another woman's 'business'. 😉 Oh sure - I had been curious before, but since I have a pussy of my very own, I know how 'fickle' or 'finnicky' they can be, I was never THAT curious with another woman to face plant right between her legs. Besides - this is a fairly small town, and things get out. 🙄 Especially - if you're not good at covering your tracks, and I apparently am not that good at keeping secret. BUT - there's another here who has 'spilled the beans' too. 😉 😁

Gibby got me past any qualms I had about - having my face down in another woman's business, mainly by getting me hotter than a pistol with her own well placed tongue, and then striking while the iron was hot. 😁 But if I wasn't inclined to have another woman - then nothing would have got me to take my clothes off and lay back and take that trip I must have known I was going to take sooner or later.

I didn't 'turn bi' - I just didn't know I was or that I wanted to give in to it. No - that does not mean I will fuck just any woman, any more that I'd fuck just any man, I've got to like 'em or love 'em, before I give myself over to them. I'm not 'bi-curious' because I am flat out 'bi' - but still, I think heteroflexible is the best description. 😃

I knew fairly early on that I was attracted to women and was even in a long term relationship with another woman for many years, while being married to a great guy and raising a family. I guess you can 'acquire' a taste for the same sex, or become 'heteroflexible' but if you don't feel that way, then it isn't going to happen for you.

As @Amethyst said

I have always just been straight and when I was small and growing up I always knew it was just men (not boys really) who I was interested in.

It's what makes you happy that counts, as long as it is between consenting adults.

And @Lora_C

I didn't 'turn bi' - I just didn't know I was or that I wanted to give in to it. No - that does not mean I will fuck just any woman, any more that I'd fuck just any man, I've got to like 'em or love 'em, before I give myself over to them. I'm not 'bi-curious' because I am flat out 'bi' - but still, I think heteroflexible is the best description. 😃

Just as long as you enjoy, I don't think it matters how you got there, or when.

@Lora_C

BUT - there's another here who has 'spilled the beans' too. 😉 😁

Then make bean dip and enjoy, but in a well ventilated area. 😉 😶

Lora C said

. . . . . blah, blah, blah 😁 😁 😁 . . . . ( you know, the pop-up says not to include unnecessary text 😁 )

Gibby got me past any qualms I had about - having my face down in another woman's business, mainly by getting me hotter than a pistol with her own well placed tongue, and then striking while the iron was hot. 😁 But if I wasn't inclined to have another woman - then nothing would have got me to take my clothes off and lay back and take that trip I must have known I was going to take sooner or later.

I didn't 'turn bi' - I just didn't know I was or that I wanted to give in to it. No - that does not mean I will fuck just any woman, any more that I'd fuck just any man, I've got to like 'em or love 'em, before I give myself over to them. I'm not 'bi-curious' because I am flat out 'bi' - but still, I think heteroflexible is the best description. 😃

I think we're about the same, so I will speak freely. 😁

I wouldn't "fuck" just any woman either. In fact I have had higher standards for fucking women than men all my life, and as I have posted a number of times in the past, I love being with a few particular women, but it is primarily for the closeness, not so much the sex (not that it isn't fantastic) but I do prefer sex with men.

Technically we are really bisexual, it's only the frequency of same sex encounters, that from a picky semantic standpoint makes us heteroflexible, although from the high frequency of your encounters, I'm not sure you fit into that category any longer!!!! 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁

I know this is just a joke, but I always loved the 'old' adage that says :

'Every woman is only 2 drinks from being bi-curious!'

@SwitchableSusie said

Technically we are really bisexual, it's only the frequency of same sex encounters that from a picky semantic standpoint makes us heteroflexible, although from the high frequency of your encounters, I'm not sure you fit into that category any longer!!!!

I honestly may not - and I have thought about that, I really have. The high frequency - comes from proximity, that sounds crass as hell, sorry Beth Anne, but we are together at the shop a lot 😃 and I love being with her. Ruthie - she's hit or miss, and not that frequent at all, although when I first started, I was sure that she would be more 'into it', that isn't the case, and I'm glad. 😃 Gibby - she lives too far away, although I'd 'do her' as much as possible. 😉

So @SwitchableSusie - how far away do your 'ladies' live from you? Do you have almost daily contact - or run in the same circles as they do?

I love being with a few particular women, but it is primarily for the closeness, not so much the sex (not that it isn't fantastic) but I do prefer sex with men.

And Beth Anne is a great friend - a wonderful woman, lover, to be close with, sex or not, she's very giving and a class act.

If frequent sex with Beth Anne - means leaving the 'heteroflexible' category behind, I'm good with that. 😉

. . . .So @SwitchableSusie - how far away do your 'ladies' live from you? Do you have almost daily contact - or run in the same circles as they do?. . .

One lives about two hours away in New Jersey and the other about 90 minutes away on Long Island. A lot depends on traffic.

In NY, we describe distances by the time it takes because depending on traffic, an hour ride can be only twenty miles. Of course, at off-hours, it is as fast as any other part of the country, but there are only about four "off-hours" during the 24 hour day here. Traffic in the NY metro area/suburbs SUCKS.

We have telephone contact about twice a week and we don't run in the same friendly circles. We became friends when we were younger and our children were young and lived close to each other but have since moved in different directions mostly due to our jobs and husband's businesses.

When we do see each other it's a real treat because it isn't very frequent. As I described once before, our get-togethers are only a couple of times a year, not counting the times with our husbands who have NOTHING to do with our sexual relationships.

@SwitchablSusie if she was closer or you worked together - would you and she be more 'active'?

@SwitchablSusie if she was closer or you worked together - would you and she be more 'active'?

Probably not.

I wouldn't want to be away from my husband that much and the women really want to be with their husband and partner.

One woman is 99% hetero like I am and the other became a full time lesbian after her children were born.

@Lora_C

My first woman - Gibby, understood what I wanted, and who I was, and that I would probably have some qualms in actually putting my face in another woman's 'business'.

What you wanted? ... it was and is friendship with no bounds and a friend ... or friends ... to share everything about you ... up to ... and including ... your sexuality. 🌹

Who you were? ... you are ... that rare woman ... friend ... who wasn't afraid to be really naked ... figuratively ... and literally ... with a friend on every level imaginable ... and willing to try something new ... no matter how intimate. 🌹 The only requirement you have ... is that the one you show all of yourself too ... not just your body ... that person has to be a friend ... and a true friend.

@Lora_C ... forget the labels ... heteroflexible ... bi sexual ... bi curious ... whore ... slut ... those are only about sex and fucking. If you absolutely have to have a label ... or labels ... go with ... loving and devoted wife 🌹 ... loving mother 🌹 ... skilled & accepting & 'welcoming' lover 🌹 ...

But this post asked the question ... 'What turns a person into being bi?' ... @Lora_C ... you had those tendencies a long time before we ever got naked together ... or that curiosity ... and you liked it 😃 ... with a friend ... 😃 ... 🌹 🌹 🌹

Nobody turns bi. They discover their own sexuality.

When I was young, and just discovering sexual attraction, I saw guys, and thought 'I really want one of those', and I saw girls and 'I really want one of those, too!'

I few years later I discovered I could have both!

You are very much correct Buttwoman. Its actually the outcome of our hidden desire how we want to enjoy ourselves.