Casual Conversation During An Intimate Exam Or Procedure

How many of you ladies and gents have found yourself casually talking about cars, sports, politics, etc. or just generally shooting the bull with your doctor, nurse, technician, or patient while they're handling or probing your nether regions, or you're handling / probing theirs?

Discussing how to rebuild a carburetor on your Alfa Spyder, the Steelers' chances of making the Super Bowl, or the best local Italian restaurants seems like an excellent way of alleviating any embarrassment or arousal you may experience during an invasive medical procedure.

My latest assigned PCP is a very attractive female brunette in her 30s. When I eventually see her one of these months / years for a complete physical, I plan to find out what interests her and talk about that ( to keep my mind occupied ) until I get outta there.

During my wife's exam yesterday, we all chatted about work etc, all the while she had her finger in my wife for over a full minute. The doc turned and told me to give my wife a break at work and never missed a stroke.

My wife's doctor asked her what I did for work, right after he asked her to "scoot down", and just before he inserted the speculum.

No real doctor has ever asked me questions relating to anything but my health, and that is what I prefer to keep it on a professional level.

I have never had a casual conversation with a physician while they have been examining an intimate area of mine. At some point after the doctor enters the room there is a casual conversation, but it's usually very early in the conversation/ history taking.

However, about half way through my vasectomy, the urologist, his nurse, and myself did start talking about recent family vacations we had been on. I think he was trying to fill the awkward silence in the room.

I've never had a conversation with a physician, but my chiropractor always gets me into a hobby or sports convo. I think he does it on purpose to get my mind off the procedure. He's a big guy and good at what he does, but he's an "old school" bone cracker. So, he gets me interested in something, then CRack!! I always end up laughing because I know that he did it on purpose.

He's got this massage thing that literally bounces on your back. It is the best part of the whole thing. He talks through the whole massage, and I can't say anything because I'm being pounded by "bouncing Betty".

I can't see this happening with the doc. Different procedures and different type of guy. No fun, very strict, no bouncing Betty!

It's a common strategy - when we (that is we medfet doctors) move to the intimate sections of our evaluations, quite often small talk lessens the anxiety for the patient. On the other hand, we all know that one of the strong points of medfet IS the examination of our "intimate" sections. So, in play, I, more often than not, try to increase the tension rather than subvert it. In a non-medfet scene, it is common for the Dr to distract attention away from the procedure or assessment. It's pretty low-level psychology. If you do NOT want the small talk you can certain interceded and ask for quiet - but that may also lead to some awkward moments afterwards.

As always, if you are a patient, do NOT be afraid to speak up a little. In a medfet scene, this can be quite nicely used. The moment I see the hesitation in my male patients being told to lower their underwear to their knees, the more I move to increase his humiliation. It's good for all.

A urologist some years ago would suddenly bring up some random topic as he as about to do a prostate exam on me. There would be the instruction to "drop your shorts and bend over the table" followed by some weird question like "have you been in the new _________ store?" or "have you seen the _______ movie?" Whatever my answer was, he was always have something else to say about the topic while he was probing my rectum and prostate. It was obvious that he was trying to distract me from what he was doing but I have to say that it wasn't exactly like distracting a kid just before giving them a shot. I knew what was happening or about to happen so answering his questions while bent over and getting a finger in my rear was comical. The only time that I remember him breaking out of his questions was when he had to comment that he was having a hard time with my sphincter during the rectal exam. Kind of a "gee, golly whiz, your sphincter is really tight today" and then back to asking about some current movie. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. "Sorry"?

Compare that experience to another doctor who wanted to describe exactly what he was doing and what he was feeling during the rectal and prostate exams. Almost like a tour guide who is telling you what to look for. "Now, I'm rotating my finger around the entire circumference of your rectum" and "Now, I'm checking both lobes of your prostate. They feel smooth and of normal size."

I DO NOT want my doctor making small talk during any part of the exam. I want him concentrating on me and my exam. His making small talk to distract me also distracts HIM.

Either tell me exactly what you are doing and seeing while you are doing it or shut up and give me all the information when you are done.

DO NOT try to distract me during the exam with small talk. Small talk distracts him too.

I DO NOT want my doctor making small talk during any part of the exam. I want him concentrating on me and my exam.

Oh Susie you're such a killjoy

Oh Susie you're such a killjoy

Possibly, but also correct. Perhaps because I'm a physician and Susie's a highly experienced graduate level RN, but all I want the doc talking about at that point is me and my medical condition. Save the small talk for later.

Eric

My doctor has definitely asked about hobbies, sports, family-life—and what I love about this idle chitchat is that while it appears that the doctor is making mere small talk, sometimes it becomes clear that he has a real medical reason for probing into these topics. Maybe he's checking to see how much anxiety I have around social situations, or if I'm in an abusive situation. His concern is touching, and also really arousing. During the genital exam, my doctor usually chills out on the small talk, but I remember once (with my previous PCP) my doctor still was asking about my bicycle riding while examining my testicles—I think he wanted to know what kind of seat I had, to know how much pressure I was experiencing.

My doctor and I make small talk throughout the exam and the genital portion is no different. The conversations are about anything and everything.

Happens ALL THE TIME — for some reason, my gyno always seems to bring up the weather during a breast exam!

There was quite a lot of talking during my last smear (I’m a trans guy). I get my injection from her every three weeks so it was a general conversation just like then, with her interrupting herself every so often to tell me to open my legs etc. I was grateful for the talking, it’s always a difficult thing to do for me so it made it feel more like a normal appointment with her.

If it’s an sti check then the nurse just tells me what she’s about to do and says that everything looks fine before moving onto the next part.

There was no talking at all during the breast exam I had other than to give me instructions.

My wife is in the mortgage business and has been for a while. Back in the early 90s she told me it was kind of awkward when her gynecologist was asking her about mortgage rates while he was examining her.

My doctor will sometimes ask about summer or maybe about a continuing education module. But she is strictly business with my sister. I mean she won't talk as much. She knows my sister is a joker and if she starts her it is hard to stop. It doesn't bother me. Sometimes she will carry a conversation on to the exam room where my sisters' girlfriend is. I have not been in with her girlfriend. I just get told about it. You are not in there long enough to carry on a full-length conversation. It's pretty fast. Like she will do my sister. Then go to another patient and then back to me and then to my sisters' girlfriend. It's pretty busy but she will ask questions and listen to you about health concerns.

If there is a time for conversion it is nice as you can feel more comfortable and trust the doctor. Last time I was chatting about the cars with my physiotherapist during the procedure.