Margy, I'll do my best to explain my perspective if you'll please not make assumptions that diapers have anything to do with pedophilia. I'm a father of four, and have been married to a wonderful woman for almost 10 years. My youngest kids are 5 (twins) and never during their diaper years did I feel like my fetish conflicted with them. In fact, their diapers grossed me out more than anything. Almost like a teen boy having a cute teen sister. She's still his sister and he can't think of her in that way.
Here's my experience and perspective:
I was a bedwetter growing up, and remember many embarassing situations where I had to wear a diaper under my pajamas in front of friends, relatives, and family. Getting diapered in my parents bedroom and trying to walk without the telltale crinkle of late 80's - early 90's diapers was impossible. They were bulky, noisy, and just plain obvious. My babysitters could tell I was wearing diapers, my friends could tell, and of course, my family knew.
In spite of trying alternatives for a few years, I was told I would have to wear diapers again at the age of 11 because we were going on a road trip and my parents didn't want me peeing in the tent-trailer or hotel beds. My mom bought me a package of generic "adult briefs" (diapers), and I remember the feeling of complete vulnerability I felt the first time I put one on. I had no pride; who could feel pride as a 12 year old boy wearing a diaper? I felt vulterable, embarrassed, and I didn't have a choice. It was almost like I was submissive to diapers. The diapers were a requirement, and I wasn't allowed to choose otherwise.
Waking up in the tent trailer in our campsite at 6:30 in the morning the first day of the road trip was a new experience. Everyone else was still asleep, so I quietly got out of bed and stepped outside in a t-shirt, sweat pands, and diaper. I was well aware of how wet, and therefore swollen, it was, and how loud my diaper crinkled with every step I took toward the public bathrooms. I walked past dozens of other camp sites, hoping no cute girls would see me. I arrived at the bathroom aching to pee, but not willing to have an accident in my diaper while awake. I felt like that would be a new level of lowness. The bathroom had a 4 digit pin to get in, and for a moment I had a pang of fear that I may have forgotton it. I often imagine what would have happened if I had. Standing there squirming from an aching bladder as I punch in number after number, trying to get the lock to open. Losing the battle as my already soaked diaper fills even more because my immature body hasn't grown up yet. Feeling the embarrassment of standing there wet as a kind mom rounds the corner and sees my predicament, and lets me in to the bathroom just a little too late.
These feelings of public helplessness and vulnerability have stayed with me, and I've often tried to think of how I might recreate them in my life. Never have I imagined anything to do with a child, because the object of a diaper fetish is a diaper. It's how a diaper makes us feel safe yet helpless. Secure from accidents but vulnerable to ridicule. Submissive to the demands of our body and the confines and telltale signs that a diaper brings.
After being on this site for a while, I've read about some weird stuff, but I can see how we're all the same in some ways. Some people like to have a vibrator in their panties in public, with someone else holding the remote control. Some like to be humiliated like a gimp (pulp fiction), some like imagining being at the mercy of a doctor or nurse, and some like being given enemas and such. I think in the end, we all either like to be at the mercy of someone or something, or we like to be the one who is dominating someone else. Our objects and methods are all different, but our desires are all similar.
I'm not an "adult baby", but I can say with confidence that they would concur with the above. They aren't objectifying kids, they are enjoying the feeling of being the helpless, vulnerable person and having someone else be in control.
Thank you for asking instead of simply writing us all off as perverts. Most of us are real people with real jobs and real families, trying to make sense of our streak of uniqueness without going off the deep end.