Somebody seeing your rectal thermometer . . .

WHOOPS!

This morning, I woke up a few minutes early and I decided to take my rectal temperature. I keep my thermometer and the small jar of Vaseline in the nightstand next to my bed; there's a box of tissues on top of the nightstand next to the alarm clock and the light. Anyhow, I had enough time, so I enjoyed myself by first lying on my stomach with the thermometer inserted, and then turning over on my back with my knees raised and my legs spread - it always makes me feel so exposed, so vulnerable, and I can also let my hand wander lower and stimulate myself while simultaneously moving the thermometer in and out. Well, it all went well and, in fact, it brought me to an orgasm and I drifted off to sleep. My t-shirt above my waist, my hand still between my legs, and the thermometer still inserted . . .

the next thing to happen was that I was jolted back to consciousness by the phone ringing, so I answered it - only to have a robocall on the other end about some survey wanting to know about my satisfaction with my cellular service provider! How annoying - and even more annoying was now I was actually running late! So, I removed the thermometer and laid it on a tissue on my nightstand. I didn't have time to wash it - I usually carefully wash it with soap & water and then an alcohol swab before putting it away.

A quick shower and morning preparations and out the door I was . . .

. . . Later in the day, I met my friend after work and she and I went shopping. I wanted to get some new curtains that were on sale. The store had just what I was wanting, so I bought them on the spot. My friend suggested that we go back to my place and hang them. I took her up on her suggestion since it was going to take two people to do it right. We got them out of the packaging and threw them in the dryer and went to dinner. When we got back, we got the curtains out of the dryer and they were ready to hang.

We went into my bedroom and got to work and then ... from the corner of my eye, I saw it! YES - the rectal thermometer on the tissue, the opened case, and the opened jar of Vaseline. Oh no - what was I going to do? I tried to keep my friend on task so that we could finish and get out of there - but she's not that way. We finished hanging the curtains and then she stood back to take a look. She noticed my unmade bed and said, "This will look much better with the bed made." She started on the opposite side and worked her way around to the side where I sleep (a queen-sized bed). As she finished tucking spread under the pillow SHE NOTICED.

"Hey, what's this?", she asked me, as she picked up the thermometer.

"Oh, I was feeling a little under the weather this morning so . . .", I replied before she cut me off

". . . You take your temperature THAT way?", and she pointed to the Vaseline.

What was I to do? What was I to say?

"No, no . . .", I stammered. "The Vaseline is for dry skin."

"Oh", she said, and put the thermometer back down . . .

How embarrassing - What do you think? Has that ever happened to you? What would you do?

Ive never left it out but its in my medicine cabinet along side a tube of lubricant and a box of tylenol suppositories so im sure all the people who have used my bathroom at one time or another have snooped and seen it. No one has ever brang it up because its too embarrassing and exposes them as a snoop.

@notformee... why didn't you just admit that you did. You could have said it's more accurate, or that you were nauseous and couldn't keep an oral thermometer in your mouth. She probably would had understood.

NotForMee,

I think it all depends how intimate you are with this friend and what kind of relations you have. this "incident" could be an opportunity to bring up the subject and tell your friend about your taste for rectal temp and try to convince her to engage in some mutual temp taking games for fun.

UPDATE: First, this friend is initially a friend from work but we have recently been spending time out of work. Now, today . . . I saw her at lunch and she sat down at the table where I was. The first thing she said as she sat down was, "Hey! Bottoms up this morning?" I really didn't see it coming and, without even thinking, said, "What???"

Then, she said, "You know, the thermometer, did you use it again?"

"Yes, I did," was my reply - because I did.

"Are you feeling OK?", she asked.

"Yes", I answered.

And then we started talking about other stuff . . .

@NotForMee.... And if the subject comes up again..... then what are you going to do / say?

". . . You take your temperature THAT way?", and she pointed to the Vaseline.

What was I to do? What was I to say?

I was envisioning how else this conversation might have gone...

You: "Yes, I do."

Her: "Really? I thought I was the only one!"

(Probably not, but you never know!)

Hasn't happened unless someone found it while snooping (which is possible given dorm room and other roommates over the years, etc.)... if they saw it they didn't say anything. I've done a roleplay scene before where a friend came over and saw the thermometer by the bed and asked questions, and that led to some (planned) fun. Not quite the same thing as a colleague spotting it in real life, though.

Two Thanksgiving holidays ago my Mom discovered that I still use a rectal thermometer. "Oh...OK," she said. It didn't faze her, although I was a little hesitant to admit it.

I had been in bed with a miserable head cold, sore throat and a nagging cough. Mom came over early on Thanksgiving day to help prepare a large dinner that we were planning for my family and two neighbors.

She sat down on the side of the bed and asked how I was feeling. Don't feel like cooking, I joked. She felt my neck and forehead and could tell I had a fever. I told her that my husband took my temperature during the night. It was 100.8. "That's a fever," she said. I remember pausing a moment before admitting, "It was in my bottom, so we didn't think it was a big deal." I remember Mom's response: "Oh, OK."

Some years ago my nephew was staying with me while my brother and his wife went on their second honeymoon trip. he was 14 at the time and about 5 days in he came to me and asked if i had a thermometer and if he could use it as he thought he had a fever. I said sure it's in the bathroom cabinet. He came back in a minute or two holding the thermometer and said "I can't use this it's rectal." I said "It's all I have you can use it rectally or put it under your arm, his replay was that's gay uncle Ken." We never talked about it again, he did decide to use it under his arm i think the reading was 97 point something.

Great story & an even better recovery! Good quick thinking!

My ex girlfriend stopped over, and saw my rectal thermometer(s) next to the Vaseline jar, which I had inadvertently left by my bed. She stopped in her tracks, and told me that I "have issues." Then upon further discussion, she told me that I have a "weird fetish," and she cut her visit short, with some lame excuse about being busy. I've since only heard from her rarely, and the communications have not been warm.

NotForMee: Well, in France, it is not uncommon, at least for people 40+ years old, to take their own temperature rectally - it used to be the case that hospitals required patients to take their rectal temperature, and it was like that as well in many families, including mine.

What would be less common is Vaseline - for self-taking, people generally would insert the thermometer without extra lubrication, since there is a far lesser chance of injuring oneself than injuring others.

In the early days in our relationship with my wife, we were living in the US. I was in bed with some kind of stomach problem - diarrhea and fever. It was a Saturday morning and I had left a dinner with friends the evening before because I was feeling sick. So one friend came over to visit us.

I had not paid attention but on the bedside table there was a thermometer, lubricating jelly, cottong and alcohol (for cleaning after use).

Now, it is not uncommon for couples to use lubricating jelly, but, coupled with the thermometer...

To the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever seen any of my thermometers that I haven't wanted to see them. They're not very hidden, but not out in the open either.

Wow I'm sure that got her thinking. It could be good or bad, I'm surprised she picked it up. If I saw someone's I think I would just pretend to not see it.

Several years ago I had a good friend of mine from nursing school come spend a week with me. Not even realizing it, I had left my mercury rectal thermometer, in it's case, along with a small jar of KY sitting on the sink in the spare bathroom. My friend had noticed it because a couple of days later she wasn't feeling very well and asked if she could borrow my thermometer. I said sure if I can remember where it was. She said it's sitting on the sink in the spare bathroom. Thanks I said and went to retrieve it and came back holding both the thermometer and KY in my hand and she already was turned on her side on the bed. I smiled at her and she asked if I would mind taking it? That was the start of a special relationship.

Thanks for your story Teri! It's always been one of my fantasies to have a thermometer or enema bag out, either accidentally or on purpose, and find out by coincidence that a friend is into the same thing. Your story would be like a dream come true!

On occasions I’ve left it out, either by the jar of Vaseline or in it after having been shaken down and wiped after a reading. At times just so I could repeat a reading if sick.

If I’m getting a home massage the thermometer and Vaseline are brought out before the arrival of the masseuse and left visible as stated above. I have gotten a variety of comments on it and have also gotten what I hoped for, the therapist taking my rectal temperature. Not all , but some have.

Not as an adult. Growing up, especially in the midst of getting over being sick, the rectal thermometer, along with a jar of Vaseline, and a box of tissues, was in full display on my night stand. Friends of relatives coming into my room would certainly notice, but even as a teenager, I never thought about it then, as the same setup could be seen at my friends homes as well. On many occasions I would have friends in my room when I was sick, only to have my mom come in to announce that it was time to take my temperature, which was done in front of everyone. I was also on the looking end of the same procedure when I was at a friend or relative’s house as well.