Yes! I’d love a doctor to insert an inflatable enema nozzle in my vagina and pump it up to the point that I’m stretched and no position is comfortable. Due to the massive size of the balloon in my vagina and the nozzle dangling between my legs, any attempt at walking would be an awkward waddle.
The doctor would also insert a Foley catheter in my bladder. Doctor will keep the bladder with just enough liquid to distend and push into the inflated enema balloon. The numerous bladder nerves will be continually stimulated, causing at mimimim discomfort all the way to anguish and pain, depending on how much fluid is in the bladder, and what position my doctor currently has me squatting/sitting/laying in.
Doctor will also give me an oral stimulant laxative, enemas and suppositories that cause severe cramping.
A double balloon enema nozzle would add a nice touch. The 2 tubes dangling between my legs, cramps/pain (imitating contractions), the distended bladder and two inflated balloons all rubbing against each other, will simulate the sort of pain and discomfort a woman feels in labor.
With the nerve endings from all aspects of the pelvis being stimulated, cramping, and irritated, a woman’s brain is overwhelmed by the pain signals coming from the bladder, vagina, rectum, and colon. Any position a woman uses to manage the discomfort from one source of pain triggers surges in pain and discomfort from other areas of the pelvis. Squatting opens up the vagina, making it easier for a woman to cope with the discomfort and pain from the vaginal balloon. But it also causes the distended bladder, colon, and inflated rectal balloon to press on each other.
The doctor would need to perform vaginal exams/dilation checks when the bladder is at its fullest and patient is retaining a large cramping enema. During the vaginal exam, the doctor would push the balloon farther into the pelvis as he adds lube to balloon/vagina.
When the patient reaches the point of exhaustion, it would be time for the patient to begin pushing. The nozzles in the rectum and vagina would be given a couple extra pumps of air, to ensure maximum discomfort. Foley catheter and rectal nozzles would be gently tugged on, to ensure they properly seated in the pelvis and will not come out during the pushing phase. Before pushing can begin, doctor will need to perform one last vaginal exam, using a couple fingers internally and pressure on the abdomen to ensure bladder is not extremely full, but full enough to keep the patient uncomfortable during pushing phase˂ᚏ˃.
Doctor will have the patient use many positions for pushing phase. As inflated balloon in vagina begins to emerge, doctor will push it all the way back in, forcing the patient to start over. At some point, the doctor will determine it is time for the final stage of delivery, crowning and delivery.
The vaginal balloon will be inflated to the point it causes the ring of fire in the female’s vagina. When the doctor feels like the vagina is at maximum stretching point, doctor will instruct the patient to stop pushing and pant. It will be up to the doctor to determine how long the patient will need to refrain from pushing. The doctor will allow the patient to resume pushing through the excruciating pain. The inflated balloon nozzle will eventually fall into the doctor’s hands. ˂ᚏ˃
The doctor will let the patient rest in the current spread open position for a few minutes. He will fill the bladder to near capacity. The doctor will place one hand inside vagina and one hand on abdomen to perform an extensive pelvic/vaginal exam. It will be incredibly uncomfortable for patient, but needs to be done to ensure the placenta was completely delivered.
After the placenta check, the bladder will be allowed to completely empty and the Foley catheter deflated/removed. The rectal nozzle will also be deflated and removed. Doctor will clean up the vagina and rectum, ensure the patient’s bed linens are fresh/clean, help the patient into a fresh gown (no undergarments allowed quite yet), covered in warmed blankets, to recover from their labor and delivery. Doctor will monitor vitals, being careful not to wake patient.
After a good night’s sleep, patient will be ready to be released and resume normal activities when they feel ready. Before patient leaves, the doctor will once again remind her how amazing she did during her labor and delivery, reminding her to call the next time she is pregnant and needing a good doctor to help her through labor and delivery.