Should a sub / slave be allowed to have an opinion

I had a situation where I disagreed with my Master recently. He wanted me to keep a full diary of everything I did .. thought .. read .. spoke and felt on things I fantasized about .. masturbated over .. discussed with people ,, had erotic thoughts etc. My thinking is that I already have a busy day and I really didn't see it as a simple task taking a lot of time and effort .. but with very little return. He wanted to keep it between the two of us .. I having friends who follow and participate in my day and my activities .. wanted to share this with them .. and allow them to add to my diary .. thus giving everyone insight into my day .. and my life .. and providing me with the humiliation and embarrassment that I crave.

In the end we agreed to disagree and I must confess my behavior could have been better. So my questions are

1. Do I as his slut and slave have a right to disagree ..

2. Do I always just do as he says .. regardless of any benefits .. time wastage .. return .. etc.

3. What should happen now to first make him happy .. and secondly restore his unquestioned authority.

Please understand that I will take these replies back to him either way .. if they suport him .. support me .. etc and hopefully try to resolve this problem.

Thanks guys ..

Jo

You certainly can have an opinion, but necessarily during play time.

You definitely can lie to him. He doesn't have to know your every thought.

I would be leery about having something like your diary in a computer--it could be published too easily and recording all your thoughts is a ridiculous waste of time with NOTHING in return for you.

If you think, even as a slave that you should tell him everything, YOU'RE CRAZY. I'm a firm believer in giving out only necessary information.

I decide WHO needs to know information, WHAT information they need to know and WHEN they need to know it.

Do what he says to the extent that it makes him happy. What he doesn't know won't kill him.

Telling him you asked for opinions here is only going to work against you.

I hope you have a very good and committed relationship with this guy because quite frankly, I don't see it doing well for long.

I have never been a slave, but even as a submissive, my former Dominant wanted to know what was in my head. He didn't make me write it though, he simply engaged me in conversation and personally asked what I thought about different things. We had a discussion on it, and I was allowed to have my own opinions, but his word was always final.

To the question if you have the right to an opinion, the way I was taught about Master/slave is that yes you can have an opinion, but that is a position. It's how you feel. Your opinion however, cannot interfere with you carrying out your Master's demands. You should put forth the necessary effort to complete his request, and maybe in time HE will see that the points you made in your argument are true, and you really don't have time to write such a complete journal. If you are not willing to follow this one seemingly harmless command, are you really willing to be his 'slave'? According to my studies, you have to follow his demands/commands/requests no matter what because being a real Master, they are what you need to be a better person. You are not to question his commands, but you do not have to like them.

Again, I'm not slave. I could never be a slave. It's a very serious position, and I just can't do it, but this is what I have been taught by Dominants and Masters who have had many submissives and slaves in their lifetimes. I wish you the best in your quest for resolution.

Also, I forgot to mention, your Question #3: What do you do to make him happy and what do you do to 'restore' his unquestioned authority?

First, you need to realize where you went wrong. You need to know it in your head and in your heart. Then, you need to explain to your Master where you went wrong, how you realized your mistake, and then sincerely apologize. As for restoring his unquestioned authority... he never lost his authority. If he did not still control you, you'd not be there looking for ways to reconcile. Simply reaffirm his unquestioned authority and be prepared for punishment. He might or might not punish you for disagreeing with him so adamantly, but it all depends on your relationship, your level of training, and his demeanor. Again, I wish you the best.

soumise

I believe that a master/slave relationship can only be successful if both receive mutual benefit. I do not believe in a one sided relationship, where the master is the greatest beneficiary. The slave should have a strong desire to be submissive to that master as result of how they are treated and rewarded.

Now as for as the diary is concerned, unless they are your spouse, are in a Real life relationship. I do not believe that a master needs to know what, when , how your live your normal , outside of play, life. That truly has no impact on what your roll as master slave/sub. Privacy still must be respected in my opinion

That would be micromanaging and a turn off for me as either sub or Dom. As a Dom I very much prefer a man who has his own mind and I do not want to know his every thought about anything and everything. As a woman (I haven't been sub for a long time) I would find that kind of threatening really. I enjoy the privacy of my own thoughts and it is up to me how much I share of them. Anyone micro managing me in that way would make me feel trapped and I would not trust them.

Also, in the very core of BDSM play there is a huge need for dialogue and exchange of information and opinions. This means both Dom and sub should have opinions and those opinions should be heard and considered. Why is it a power exchange is there is no exchange and you are expected to shut up and take all his opinions as your own? This seems foolish and even dangerous to me. If you can't express fears, concerns, etc chances are you will end up being hurt.

Tis my thought that it is about an egalitarian relationship, entered by two people, each knowing where they want to reside in their minds, and willing to share with the other.

In my opinion the sub does have a right to disagree. My partner and I take turns with the roles and we agreed if one of us being the sub disagree with something we are told to do when the role play is over then we talk about it. At times it has worked where I have seen and understood why he asked me to do certain things even though I didn't want to but after talking about it and deciding to do it I enjoyed it. He has also done the same thing for me. One thing I didn't think I would like was wearing a bullet inside me when we went out to eat and letting him control it. We had dinner with some friends and the whole time he would control the speed. It was so hard to control myself because he told me I was not to react to it for any reason. I was to be a lady the whole evening. I could only release when told too. We went into the restroom at the restaurant and he took car of me and again in the taxi. I believe the driver enjoyed watching in the mirror about as much as I enjoying being taken care of in the back.

Well dear Jo,since time matters a lot Master has to be satisfied for now with a very short summary of a dairy, report whatever He likes.It should be a very reasonable request from Him if He could take care of all you need to survive,and pension.Since you are both working,this diary is to be very short but helpful.Remember writing a lot for Him means less time with Him.Life is hard now days.My best wishes for both of you to work it out,without you needing a pillow sitting.

Jo, your answer is in question 1. As his slave, not submissive you have very few rights and those do not include the right to disagree on a specific task or instruction. As a practical matter the advice you have received to be very careful is valid even if you are totally committed to this path. Your thoughts are your identity and once given up can't be "put back in the box". My personal belief is any master or in the your case "owner" will recognize minimal rights of their underling and property and will foster and encourage those rights while maintaining unquestioned leadership. If as his slave you don't matter your placing your basic wellbeing in his control. Answer two is yes, but again be careful since unquestioned authority leaves you very vulnerable. Your time means little in this context if you don't have an identity, your identity is your servitude to your master. Third is to accept his will and his decision if punishment is necessary because your self described behavior, "could have been better". At this time the request appears limited to erotic thoughts, the cliff you stand on is what follows, be careful as absolute power corrupts absolutely is unfortunately usually very true.

Do not keep a diary, you will find it distasteful later on

That is very private and I have a lot of thoughts that I do not want to be on paper, never know what could happen to it, I will tell others I trust most things but there are some better hidden.

Only when you start you have to tell what you want as making a deal the you will have to beg for it

Hi Jo

As a slave myself, I was in a similar situation. Even though one is a slave, I am encouraged to have opinions and to voice them, but I must also be respectful. Master had wanted me to complete a journal and I too have a busy schedule and wasn't sure I would be able to complete it each day. He explained the benefits of it to me, and it is an intricate tool He uses in training. It allows Him to see where my head is at and lets Him know how far He should push me in my training. We did come to a compromise, where if I have a busy day and I ask for permission, He will allow me a pass on it, up to three a week but if I abuse it, then it will become mandatory each day again. Anything I journal is also considered to be a safe zone, no punishments or judgements will occur with anything I write. The goal wasn't to add to my day, but to give Him insight into it and it really doesn't take that long once one gets used to writing each day. As His slave, His word is the final decision and many Master's are very reasonable and recognize that life outside of the lifestyle occurs, hence the compromise.

In response to your questions, I don't know how your dynamic is, but as I said I am encouraged to have opinions and have the right to disagree, but the final decision is His not mine. To make Him happy, first I would apologize and also surprise Him with the journal at the same time to let Him know I regret my actions and am being an obedient girl.

I hope this helps 😃

Each master/sub-slave relationship is different. For me I want a submissive not a doormat, therefore I accept a sub with an opinion. The most important part would be the respect level, she must voice her opinion properly. I understand there are days when it is just impossible for her to complete a task as directed--after all, her work life or family life needs to be tended to as well. On days when my suggestions aren't doable she is required tosuggest a couple tasks that are doable and I will choose. It works for the submissive relationships I've tended to in the past.

I think there is a difference between a slave and a submissive. and weather you live a power exchange lifestyle, if you do, then HELL NO is way all the way. BUT this is earth and we all human. we are different from each other and it would be impossible to agree with everything that comes your way, especially because your a warm blooded woman and not a robot... I would suggest you ask Him to set up protocols on what He find is an acceptable way for you to approach him should the need rise again...good luck :-) (

I have wondered about it. I am a ub and maybe a switch. I have the following thoughts about it. I had a friend that said I did not understand when I said I thought shows as. Countable for her actions and that she should act responsibly on her own. Maybe totally wrong but jam interested in a person that can and will express themselves and then when a decision is made to accept it unless it is violation of safety and or integrity.

I am interested in thought patterns feelings and desires. I want to know what goes on when things happen. Probably very simplistic but just a thought. To me if you really care you listen to the intent, not just the words. I want compliance but not at the risk of hurting some one. I read that these are real people with real feelings reall needs and they can be hurt far worse by not caring. The tongue has no bone in it ut is capable of cutting one to shreds and the damage may never be able to be repaired. Easy to be rash not to easy to repair the damage . From the what it is worth department!!

In every D/s relationship I have, I expect the sub to have her opinion(s) on many topics...including what we do when in full "play" mode. The only thing I expect as far as her voicing her opinions is that she not do that when we are in D/s play time. Of course, she could use her safe word but that seems inappropriate to stop our activities for routine opinions that could be discussed at any time. If a sub has an active brain...something I really like to have in any submissive...then she will have opinions.

To me, it's just common sense that opinions are only discussed when not actively engaged in a scene. At any other time, I value my sub's opinions and hope she values mine.