I am in my early 60's and have had my prostate checked by 5 different doctors. I describe these experiences in my blog.
I was 30 for my first one, with the ugly man with big fingers sliding a well lubed digit in. It did not hurt but was not pleasant either. It was over quickly.
I did not get another rectal until I was 40. This was by an attractive 40 something female doc who insisted that a chaperone (attractive 20 something female) be in the room. Talk about embarrassing! After checking me for a hernia she showed me how she wanted me to lean over the table, and I did. She spread my cheeks just enough to get her finger in, then rotated and tried to get a sample for the occult test. She withdrew but didn't succeed because I had cleaned myself out. She reinserted and went deep, moving her finger around for what seemed like a long time. This time she was successful and withdrew. She told me to hold still while she “cleaned me up”. I didn't think docs were supposed to do that, but I didn't complain as she did a great job wiping me off. It was obvious that the doc and the nurse had enjoyed themselves!
I never went back to the woman and started seeing a 50ish male when I was 45. I stayed with him until I was 60 and got a hernia check and dre every year. The hernia exams were very normal. He never spent any time examining my penis. When it came time for the rectal exam, he always parted my cheeks wide, taking a good long stare at my anus. He usually said something like “ok, here we go” before he inserted with slow firm pressure. It was a pleasant feeling. He spent 30 seconds rotating and moving around in there. I actually looked forward to physicals with this guy!
The practice changed their protocols in 2017, and the “below the belt” exams ceased. I now go to a female pcp, and she has not asked me to lift the gown so far.
I started seeing a urologist in 2018, and he checks me fore and aft on my annual visits. The testicle exam is very brief, and the rectal exams he does are less than 5 seconds not counting the time he spends staring at my anus after pulling my cheeks far apart as possible. He always tells me to relax, and I do, but he goes in quickly, and it is not very pleasant. The last time I lifted my right leg and put my knee on the table (it was low enough). This gave him a better angle, and the insertion was much more pleasant. I think he enjoyed the view he got in this position, too! I do look forward to seeing him though, as I know what is coming!