What is worse, the embarrassment or the spanking?

My spankee considers the anticapation and embarrassment of me preparing her for a spanking worse than the actual

spanking. I do build up the preparation by using corner time and slowly lifting her skirt as she stands between by knees. Of course, the long lecture follows followed by time over my knee prior to the first swat 😃

Any thoughts?

If youd rephrase the question by asking which is better, Id say both are equally important. As someone whos into spanking not because I like to be punished but to make the foreplay more exciting I love the embarrassment of being exposed like that because it's like putting myself under the control of someone I trust.

One of the most exciting things about spanking for me is when the marks start showing and my partner makes a comment or teases me about them. It's just sooo hot. Like leaving hes mark, saying my behind is hes.

Hi FrozenRuby,

You may be right.

It's always been the embarrassment for me. None of my friends ever mentioned being spanked and I felt like I was the only one who had to suffer through it. I was such a strong willed child and having to submit myself to my father and allow myself to be hit was too much humiliation for me to handle.

The embarassment...the spanking is part of the embarassment....the preparation is more embarassing if the spanker does it because someone else is doing things like undressing me and putting on whatever Im to be spanked in scolding me or asking questions I am expected to answer... presenting is more embarassing if I have to present my bottom for the spanking especially if I have to explain and be lectured while presenting

I would say the worst part was the pre-lecture from mom with my pants already pulled down while she smacked the hairbrush against her palm. I remember just wanting to get over her lap and get the spanking overwith!

If it is in public; I get very embarrassed

It was definitely the embarrassment of having your pants and briefs removed and being spanked across your mother, uncle, or aunts, on you bare buttocks, then doing corner time in the living room with hand on top of your head and your red bottom in full view for all to see.Sure, the spanking did hurt, but the embarrassment was worst.

I like the embarrassment. If it gets painful, it's even more embarrassing to me, because I at that point can't take it any more, which I feel I should be able to do.

I've never had a punishment spanking in front of others, but I imagine the embarrassment would be a huge part of the rush. I often fantasize about being in public or in a group having my pants pulled down, then my plastic pants, and then having my diaper unpinned, only to be pulled over the spanker's knee. As Red as the bottom cheeks might be, the upper cheeks would be fire truck red as well - exposed diaper, bare-bottom, and spanking, all in one go! Thrilling!

The embarrassment of being spanked bare ass by my step dad was a turn on for me

Embarrassment and anticipation are very effective in getting me into the submissive mindset and really seems to enhance the punishment when it comes. I am in a part time DDlg relationship and there is a lot of opportunity for embarrassment surrounding my punishments. Cornertime is almost always utilized as well as lectures, inspections and temp takings. All of which have me blushing like a tomato and secretly knowing there is more yet to come.

In the context of this board, I don't see one being worse than the other. Worse may even be a poor choice of word.

Both the giver and receiver are doing the spanking as mutual entertainment. They are both consenting to the activity. Since it is something they both want to do, the question might better be put as which part one likes the best.

If both parties don't consent, then it is assault.

Of course, this is only between consenting adults.

Punishment of children is a very different matter.

As an older girl/young teen the embarrassment of standing in front of my parents with no panties on getting a lecture was almost as bad as the spanking coming up. It was a part of the punishment to me. Mom always taught me to be modest and not even let my panties show but when I was naughty I had to stand straight and tall naked from the waist down before they spanked me.

Those same feelings are now erotic to me, I often masturbate myself to sleep reliving those experiences.

Mom always taught me to be modest and not even let my panties show but when I was naughty I had to stand straight and tall naked from the waist down before they spanked me.

Those same feelings are now erotic to me, I often masturbate myself to sleep reliving those experiences.

You really have to wonder to what degree parents themselves were getting something out of spanking in this manner. It couldn't have been just to properly socialize and educate children or to teach them a lesson in manners or whatever. I cannot help thinking some parents were using it as a (subconscious?) excuse for some erotic self-indulging of feelings and urges that were otherwise sublimated in religious tenets and expectations. Weren't they aware of the sexual connotations? It's hard to believe they were not.

The anticipation is always worse, especially for me. I wonder sometimes (if I don't know in advance) how many swats I am going to get, will it cause me to cry, will it hurt badly, will I get it on the bare or clothed bottom, how long will the pain last, and other things like that. Once I am actually in position and feel the first swat land then I start to focus on the spanking itself. Afterwards a good rub on my bottom will always help.

I’d have to say the embarrassment is worse. My stepdad would spank me bare bottom from 11 to 17. When he’d call me over to him or drag me over to the chair or couch, he’d sit down and then pull me close to him and then he’d pull my pants and panties down to my knees or ankles. Then he’d hold one of my hands and prevent me from covering myself up, the embarrassment at this point was the worst thing for me. Then he’d pull me over his lap and spank me. Even though the spankings hurt and I hated that he could see my butt, the embarrassment from standing there with my panties down was far worse for me.

FrozenFuby IMO the best reply to this discussion. Except that i am always the spankee and my wife is the spanker.

When she orders me to "Get my brush, now hold it" I know that i WILL be spanked but do not know, till after it is over, if it was for punishment (forgetting who is in charge in our household) or for foreplay! 😃

You really have to wonder to what degree parents themselves were getting something out of spanking in this manner. It couldn't have been just to properly socialize and educate children or to teach them a lesson in manners or whatever. I cannot help thinking some parents were using it as a (subconscious?) excuse for some erotic self-indulging of feelings and urges that were otherwise sublimated in religious tenets and expectations. Weren't they aware of the sexual connotations? It's hard to believe they were not.

Considering all the spanking fetish material seen on the web, what you said about spanking and parental erotic indulgence has allot of truth to it, especially when parent sets up a formalized (can't find the right word) and planned spanking for a child - as oppressed the spankings I got; all done in the heat of the moment right after I did something really wrong and out came the hair brush. I know it's said spanking should never be done like that, but I never sensed erotic pleasure was gained, just a certain kind of satisfaction.

ETA - corrected what I wanted to say..

Reddevil: I've long thought that our mother derived, I would not say sexual pleasure, but some form of satisfaction of "being boss" when spanking us.

At times, she would simply strike us on the clothed behind, but more serious matters meant more decorum: finding a private room, baring the bottom, etc. and I think she liked the apprehension we got when she said "we'll this with this matter at home".

@Pecan_nutjob Reddevil: I've long thought that our mother derived, I would not say sexual pleasure, but some form of satisfaction of "being boss" when spanking us.

Yes, satisfaction is definitely what my father gained - putting the fear into me.

Yes the build up is definitely what is most humiliating rather than the accual spanking.

Embarrassment. Such a vulnerable position. So much on display or nearly on display. Knowing forever that this person has seen you like this and touched you like this.

I still can’t get over the scenario of stepdads who spank daughters bare bottom. I’ll bet the majority of those men enjoyed it sexually. Some Zity members claim their stepdad spanked them until age 18. I wonder what the mothers thought about it.

Embarrassment. Such a vulnerable position. So much on display or nearly on display.

Never had time to think about it - as my spankings were done immediately after I did something wrong on.

I still can’t get over the scenario of stepdads who spank daughters bare bottom. I’ll bet the majority of those men enjoyed it sexually. Some Zity members claim their stepdad spanked them until age 18. I wonder what the mothers thought about it.

Agree with you!

It's hard to answer this question, since, as we all know, a good hard spanking hurts like hell. At the same time, I think the embarrassment wounds the pride and lasts for much longer. It's a toss up, to be honest. As for which aspect I like better? I'd say I like the embarrassment more. Spanking differentiates itself from other forms of pain in that it's incredibly childish and that's part of the reason why it's so humiliating.

The worst was realization that someone my hear my spanking.

As a small child, the pain was definitely the worst and only thing I was worried about. The older I got the more embarrassing it was to be spanked and it started to outweigh the pain aspect around 10; that is until it actually was going on, then pain overrode everything for the few short minutes it went on, and I stopped caring about all the other factors. But then, once it was over, it was embarrassing again, and I would wonder if the neighbors heard or (if I was in the wrong place) saw anything. Of course, they sometimes did hear, but overhearing a spanking in the 80s was not uncommon, and you wouldn’t always know which house it was coming from unless you were right next door. That was a bigger source of embarrassment then being bared by a parent.

Anticipation and other pre-punishment rituals like scolding and the process of bottom-baring certainly enhance a spanking. My experience (on both sides) is that the prelude is wonderful but pale in comparison to the intensity of the actual spanking action.

The anticipation of a spanking was the worst for me. Having to wait all evening in my room knowing that the spanking was coming. Then to have my bare body whipped. The pain was bad but so was the humiliation. If there were guests in the house they certainly heard what was going on and it was difficult seeing them in the morning especially if my bottom was still sore when I sat down for breakfast.

I think the embarrassment is a little bit worse than the spanking itself specially if my Mom or Aunt is doing the spanking. Having to stand in front of them for the lecture and then have them take all your clothes off is very embarrassing specially if my Penis got stiff which it did a lot. Both used their hand and the oval oak hair brush on my naughty bare bottom leaving my bottom very red and sore and me crying lots of tears. I will have to agree with a few people who said that some adults got sexual satisfaction from spanking my naughty bare bottom. Through my tears I did see wet spots on my mothers and Aunts pants after I got up from the spanking and was put in the corner to think about what I did to deserve the spanking.

Just to let you know that my Step-dad and Uncle got the same satisfaction as my Aunt and Mom did.