I find almost every single aspect of a physical exam extremely embarrassing. However, I also find almost every single aspect of a physical exam memory exciting and arousing. Mostly in order, these are my most embarrassing and favorites...
1. The moment just leading up to and actually exposing my genitals. Either lowering my pants/ underwear or lifting my gown. I am completely consumed with dread, apprehension, and anxiety.
2. When the doctor first touches and inspects the area just around my butthole during the rectal exam. I feel super exposed and vulnerable in this moment while bent over.
3. The moments between the end of the abdominal exam and the beginning of the genital exam. It's full of awkward tension and nervous excitement between myself and the doctor. I know what's coming next. The doctor knows what's coming next. We're both just waiting for the big reveal (see #1).
4. While I'm standing there in the middle of the exam room with my penis and scrotum and butt completely on display. It's just an awkward, embarrassing, unnatural feeling with everything just hanging out there and the doctor's face just inches in front of my stuff.
5. All instructions and directions I'm given from the nurse/ doctor. Being told to undress, where to stand, how to position my body. I think it boils down to me relinquishing control and being submissive to their demands.
6. Knowing that other people know why I'm there, what I'm going through, and what the doctor is doing to me. It starts with calling the receptionist and scheduling a physical. Checking in. The nurse confirming why I'm there. The patients in the room next to mine, the nurse, and receptionist just on the other side of the paper thin walls listening to our conversation and paper crinkling on the table. Me coughing. And how can the little plastic cap on the lube make so much noise opening and closing?! All the telltale signs...
7. Having my BP taken. I have high BP and white coat syndrome, so combine that with my medfet and being at the doctor's office and I always have really high BP and HR. For some reason that just really embarrasses me.
Like I said, almost everything embarrasses/ excites me. These are just my favorites.