Gee I dunno. Susie may not have the theology right on this one after all.
Sure if they are not married they will go straight to hell. But, if they are married and have such thoughts, much less such activities, they can't possibly ever go straight to heaven. That would contaminate the rest of us angels.
So if they do try or even think about any of the suggestions made here, they will need at least a 6 month bath soaking in brine followed by a good coat of white enamel exterior paint to get them fit for heaven.
There is a restaurant in Palm Beach, FL, called Ta-Boo. Maybe a lunch there would be good way to start if you really do want to pursue this. It would be a nice start and a good lunch.
SirWilliam, its a pity that solo vices will apparently no longer constitute grave sinning. You are correct, you will need an assistant to really get up a head of steam.
-- And having said all this, let us acknowledge that we do owe a huge debt to Christians for their tolerance and for their ethics and values, even if we do chide them.