I really don't think I'd like it in a play scene .
I had a surgery last Wednesday to remove a tumour from under and behind my right eye . The week before I had one to deal with some complications left from Steven Johnson Syndrome . I'm absolutely fine until the time comes to be wheeled down to the theatres by the porters and theatre nurse . I then get very nervous .
Once in the admission area where there are lots of bed spaces all with patients in waiting for surgery , I was asked lots of questions and confirmed my signature on the consent form. The anaesthetist ( who I know very well , and is my favourite one ) came out to me . He told me I'd be fine and we were going in very soon. 10 minutes later I was wheeled to the door on my bed . They decided to let me walk the short distance from the door to the trolley . I wore a gown and already had many tubes , Ivs and wires trailing besides me . The three of them got me on the trolley and comfortable . Then I got very nervous .
I already have a long line in each arm. The anaesthetist took one hand and the male theatre nurse the other and they both put a cannula in the back of each hand. These don't exactly bother me but I have rubbish veins so they hurt like hell whilst they are poking around . The anaesthetist got his in first attempt . The theatre nurse took a bit longer .
Then the female theatre nurse starts talking to me asking questions about my kids etc to help me relax . By this point I have the anaesthetist standing at my head , female theatre nurse on my left and male theatre nurse on my right . My consultant then appeared to confirm my list of medicine allergies . As soon as she'd finished and went back into the theatre , the anaesthetist attempted to hold the mask over my mouth and nose .
As you all know I have CF . Nebuliser and oxygen masks do not bother me at all . I will tolerate them for meds . I have nasal cannulas when I need some oxygen . But that theatre mask sends me into a real deep panic . I was ok for about two mins breathing whilst the female nurse spoke to me but then I was struggling to breathe properly .
I managed to turn my head away from the mask and take a breath of air . The anaesthetist was telling me I need the mask on . I was telling him how much I hate it whilst he was trying to hold it in place .The male theatre nurse then passed him the first syringe full of medicine . That went into the cannula on my left hand . I managed to wriggle free from the mask again and took another deep breath of air . The Sats monitor started going off . The anaesthetist said to me ' Nikki , you need the oxygen . I know you hate the mask so bad but please keep it on sweetheart ."
In went the second syringe of medicine . I felt my legs start to get heavy . I remember him reaching across with a third syringe of a different coloured medicine . The rest of my body felt heavy and then I was gone .
I hate, hate , hate the whole experience . I hate being vulnerable and out of control of the situation , Definitely not for me in a play scene . I struggle to tolerate it for real.
Nikki