Pee Shy

I never seem to have that problem -- but I always make sure to drink plenty beforehand so it's a relief when it's time. No matter the type of exam I'm ready and able infront of basically anyone.

I think the hang up is mostly a girl thing. I still hate to poop in a public facility though. They say that many learn constipation through that hangup. In school the stalls had no doors. Pooping in there with the noise that goes with it was humiliating and avoided it if at all possible. One of my first jobs included cleaning the toilet at our facility. I devised a few pranks for those that took advantage. Once they all pooped without flushing so that I would have an impossible task when I got to it. Pay backs! Believe it or not, I once caused a guy to put his foot in the toilet with a prank I pulled. After a few years I was receiving so many pranks that my nerves were shot & I had to back way off of that game. But it was fun and past fun at first, till I became everyone's favorite target. So, No Shit? Nerves often have reasons.

I don't remember where I read (or heard) this many many years ago - but a simple method to get the bladder flowing is to go through some multiplication tables while you're trying to pee.

I've always been successful going with 2x2=4, 2x4=8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024 - I've been doing this for so long and so frequently, that I rattle off up to 32.768 before I really even have to start doing the math in my head. But usually by the time I hit 32, 64, 128 - my bladder relaxes and I let it go. Out of habit, I find myself doing this often - even when I don't need any help to get the flow started. I'd say I do it 75% of the time when I go pee.

I find this trick not only works in a "shy" situation - like when someone is peeing in the urinal right next to you - it also seems to help when trying to pee just after an orgasm or trying to pee with a hard on - or in the morning when you've held your bladder so tight before getting out of bed, that it doesn't want to cooperate right away.

I'd be curious to know if anyone else has heard of or uses this technique.

I really don't have that problem. I know there are a lot that do I guess everyone's different.

There is an actual condition, a mental block, that makes some people "pee shy." It is very common, even for people that are not modest or shy about nudity. It goes back to childhood and toilet training. Most of us are taught that urinating is a private thing, then you are expected to be able to piss in a public urinal. You can get over it, but it isn't usually worth the effort,

It can also be a cultural issue. When I was in Okinawa, the roads had trenches along the sides called "Ben-jo ditches." (Ben-jo is the Japanese term for bathroom.) Men, women, and children of all ages use these as needed, and the slops are collected every night for use as fertilizer. Rather ironic in a place where it is considered offensive for a man to be seen in public without a shirt on. To the average American, it iis the other way around.

Now me, after a decade of Naval service, some of that time attached to the Marines, I have no problem urinating in front of people or on command. (Drug screening is a perfect example.) My personal circumstances required a mental adjustment.

I could be wrong, bur I tend to believe if one's bladder were truly full enough, that would preclude being pee shy. A possible cure to overcome pee shyness is to drink lots a beer in one session where you can give a good long stream and go often. Any other diuretic like maybe a nice large iced coffee might work as well. So allow me to play doc for a moment here & either write out a script for either a Dunkin Donuts large iced coffee to drink once or twice daily, or a 12 pack of beer to consume at one social sitting.

I've been to sporting events where i'll be relieving myself of a super full bladder in a row of urinals, and people will come use one & finish with me still going, & i'll say something like "Winner! You came & went & I'm still going". The development of strong bladder muscles can be a good thing. There's also that "breaking the seal" phenomenon,

On occasion, my 10 yr old & I will have to pee at the same time, and we won;t hesitate to go simultaneously in the same toilet Saves on a flush or waiting for a flush cycle too. When i was a kid i went through a short phase where my best friend and i peed a few times simultaneously in the same toilet. It was sort of fun, like a group project. More importantly, we both just needed to relieve our bladders.

^^^^ If you took the cup home, why did you pee in from of your mother??

I think it really comes down to how full your bladder is. If it is full, you can go. Now if you suffer from an enlarged prostate, then you may have difficulty going even if you bladder is full. But for men without prostate issues, I really think it really comes down to how full your bladder is.

There have been many occasions when I knew I was not going to get a chance to urinate for a period of time (e.g.,traveling in a car) and I hit the bathroom to empty my bladder so I can last longer and not have to stop to pee. Those pee occasions do sometimes take longer to go since I am empting my bladder that is not really full and I have no urge to go.

But as far as being pee shy, I really don't have that problem thankfully.

I second what ImDoug said. The multiplication tables in your hear work for me every time. Been doing this most of my life but have no idea where I learned about it.

I used to be pee shy. It doesn't matter how bad you have to go. If someone is there and things aren't right, its not coming out. It doesn't matter how hard you push either. I say I used to have this problem because I hardly ever have the problem anymore. Ever since I started my first laser hair removal series. I've probably had my genitals seen by no fewer than 12 different women and two men. So now I'm much more relaxed about my junk and therefore more relaxed while pissing!

I am Hugely pee shy! Gee, i could not even pee in front of my own wife (when i was married).

When i have nightmares, it often involves having to use a toiled but cannot get any privacy.

It does originate from school..... my first day at school i was horrified by the jokers popping their heads under the door - You know how some toilet doors are half missing at the bottom,, i don't like that. That one incident seriously affected deep into my psyche... So from that early age I learn't to hold it in all day until i got home from school!

If there was a big war and i had to join the army,, i would not be afraid of guns and bombs, nope, i would be terrified of the showers and toilets!! Seriously!

Very pee shy, have always been around others. Think a lot was due to threats in school that boys would corner other boys in bathrooms and beat them up. I was shy quiet type that got picked on a lot, so i would avoid using bathroom at school 99% of the time. I'd hold till I went home, even went home sick once because of it. Still to this day unless my stream has already started and is strong, if someone comes in or makes much noise, I clamp up. I try thinking about water or weird subjects and sometimes that will relax me enough. Even on my own sometimes I have to force myself to unclench if my nerves are acting up. Would love to be able to use group urinal with confidence but hasn't happened yet.

Yes, especially in those bathrooms where they don't have urinals but troughs. I have to close my eyes, calm down, and focus to initiating the flow!

As a child I was pee shy.

I have always sat down to pee, so then I always used the cubicles rather than troughs.

A lot of the reason for this was to avoid anymore ridicule and harassment from the bullies at school.

When I had transitioned and I was doing street work, obviously after a few hours of being outside, often in cold temperatures, it was necessary to pee.

Disgusting as it might sound, basically the girls would pee anywhere available. Usually behind bushes, or in drives and entries. Normally about 4 of us used to go together. It was a very quick hitch up your skirt or dress, pull your knickers to one side, and crouch down, and let it go as quickly as possible. Normally 2 at a time would pee, and the other 2 look out for anyone coming past. It was then swap over, so the others would pee and then the other two look out.

As there really was no other option, I can assure you that it very quickly cured any pee shy that I previously had.!!!

I have "shy bladder" also known as paruresis , and find it difficult to use a public restroom. When I do, I have to use a stall and then once I start going, I will drip when I stop so I have to wear a pad. When Poise pads came out, they were a big help. I also wear women's full-cut nylon panties as they hold the pad in place best, and moreover I like wearing panties.. Believing that my drip problem was something women experienced, I decided to then wear women's panties as a sort of "well, if I have a woman's problem, then I might as well wear their panties!"

67.5 y/o white straight male. Always had paruresis, still have it at 67. Very annoying, but other people have much bigger problems than this, so it's just a footnote to life.

Eric

I was like that until about 20. When I was young and in a public restroom I would have to take a deep breath and close my eyes to pee. Now I can pee anywhere. My brother is like that to this day, gun shy.

I was like that until about 20. When I was young and in a public restroom I would have to take a deep breath and close my eyes to pee. Now I can pee anywhere. My brother is like that to this day, gun shy.

I always hoped I would outgrow it, but alas I still have it (we used to call it Bashful Kidney) at almost 68. Like I said, annoying but not critical.

Eric

Since I do go out much anymore it's not as critical as when I was younger.... large venue such as sports events, concerts were really a problem... I would keep putting off using the restroom, thinking I could hold it...

I always hoped I would outgrow it, but alas I still have it (we used to call it Bashful Kidney) at almost 68. Like I said, annoying but not critical.

Eric

I had to work on it and tell myself it was stupid and no one cared. It took while but I got past it. What I really wouldn't like is the Japanese version of restrooms where it is unisex and just a hole you squat over. Yuck.

What I really wouldn't like is the Japanese version of restrooms where it is unisex and just a hole you squat over. Yuck.

I've seen those - the people who use them have very BAD AIM! They are filthy!!!

I've seen those - the people who use them have very BAD AIM! They are filthy!!!

Are men supposed to aim for the hole in the floor while they are standing?

Squatting at home when you aren't wearing any clothes doesn't seem so bad, although I like to relax while sitting on the toilet.

If you are at a public place and dressed, it seems you could easily get urine or feces on the back side of your clothing unless you removed them

Wiki link on "squat toilets". The Japanese are moving towards western style toilets. Agree it would be an art form NOT to soil your clothing when using a squat toilet. The ones I saw had feces all over the floor around the toilet - you'd have to step in it to get over the toilet.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet

Not a problem for me but I love being naked with anyone. Anytime. I know people who have that issue though. It’s interesting.

I always have had a problem. Even when my bladder is full. I wanted to pee and the toilet is full of people I would rather not pee and go find other toilet. It's really fustrating. Or if there is a queue of people waiting, I would act that I have just peed and walk away.

I always hoped I would outgrow it, but alas I still have it (we used to call it Bashful Kidney) at almost 68. Like I said, annoying but not critical.

Eric

I've heard it called "shy bladder" and never outgrew it, now in my mid-70's. Mine got worse in my 30's when the nervousness would cause me to drip after going. So I had to stuff a paper towel.. when Poise pads came out, they were great, and I combined my love of women's panties with that of needing a pad... (figured why not get something I like out this condition).. Wearing panties and pad, I always and only use a stall in the restroom, but that can be tricky - some don't lock or are really private, and need no one to be in an adjacent one...

Shy Bladder Syndrome or Paruresis is massively common, more so amongst men than women due to the urinal bowls or open troughs, with little or no privacy screening, which men are expected to use en masse.

To quote from Wikipedia, ‘It appears that paruresis involves a tightening of the sphincter or bladder neck due to a sympathetic nervous system response.’

Whilst you may feel fairly relaxed, your inner animal brain may feel less so. Standing with your cock out whilst strangers stand nearby and move behind you is not the safest position. Imagine you were a Wildebeest on the plains of Africa, having a pee, then you spotted in the distance what might be an approaching Lion. Would you:

a) Hope it at least let you finish your pee before attacking

b) Start running awkwardly whilst still leaking pee everywhere

c) Stop peeing instantly and prepare for fight/flight/freeze

Your animal brain favours c) so if you feel at all anxious/threatened, e.g. self-conscious that the other guy is wondering why you’re not peeing like him, your animal brain locks up the sphincter and refuses to cooperate, whatever your conscious brain is saying.

There are several good books on Amazon on Shy Bladder Syndrome, but overcoming a longterm spooked animal brain system, with the performance anxiety of previous failures loading the odds against you, is not easy.

Perhaps best to scrap these awful male urinals or else install heavy screening between them, as is becoming more common as understanding of SBS grows.

It's now less bad than it used to be - as a kid I never could use a urinal, now I sometimes can. Any of you that got rid of it entirely, how did you do it?

It's now less bad than it used to be - as a kid I never could use a urinal, now I sometimes can. Any of you that got rid of it entirely, how did you do it?

Quite a few years ago I read this Amazon book: Shy Bladder Syndrome: Your Step-by-step Guide to Overcoming Paruresis by Steven Soifer. Probably out of print now but still findable online, but there are other books published since that I haven't studied. There was an exercise in it where, with a willing helper (e.g. girlfriend) you tried to desensitise by peeing whilst getting her to stand progressively closer, from many yards away to eventually in the same room. I did get to manage this OK, but the trouble is your sympathetic spouse becomes less troubling to your animal nervous system than a random stranger. So success doing this exercise may not transfer to a random public toilet. But that book did link to courses you could attend with other SBS sufferers who could spend a weekend together progressively desensitising to each other by doing this in a more realistic environment, i.e. not home or with friendly female faces.

If it bothers you, and this can be really disabling in situations where a bunch of guys are expected to pee together and say drive off for hours, when there may be no cubicle toilet free, I would suggest you research similar Paruresis courses which may exist in larger cities of larger countries. One in Seven men suffer and some have to substantially change their lifestyles as they simply cannot pee (reliably) at open urinals/troughs for all the money in the world. The number of guys including young ones I see who will always pee in a cubicle, perhaps with the door open behind them, tells me this condition is going nowhere. Irrational fear is irrational, you can’t tell a person with fear of spiders that it’s nothing even if the next person thinks it’s a joke.

The not being able to go was bad, but worst was if I was able to then I couldn't prevent embarrassing my self by leaking a bit. Funny thing, when home and relaxed, I don't drip or leak.