This is a long read, but this is what I did to get my wife into the lifestyle.
Note: I wrote this out on my PS3 browser using a controller. There are spelling errors.
When I first told hailey about my diaper fetish she hardly blinked an eye and asked me a boatload of questions about it all. She was willing to give anything a try. It weirded her out at first but she came around eventually. This is how I did it. 😃
At the beginning it was pretty much me being on the bottom. Ill be the very irst to admit that Im not a very good bottom. I never have been. I was a bad sub, I topped from the bottom a lot. Maybe sub is too strong a word, It was more getting hailey used to the diapers so that she was comfortable enough wearing them herself. It was all fine and dandy with my wearing them, but I wanted her in diapers and serving me. 😃
The first time she put a diaper on for me was Christmas eve. After the kids were in bed and I started the Daddy duty of assembling the toys, hailey came downstairs where a white satin nightie. She was walking pretty slowly and my eyes went wide when I heard the tell tale all important sound "crinkle"
She looked so shy and innocent, very insecure about her diapered state and how I would react. It took everything I had not to put her over my knee and give her a good spanking and ravish her on the spot. I wanted to eat that innocence. 😃
In the beginning it wasn't so much the diapers that turned her on as much as it was the attention I gave her while she was wearing one that did. This was the start of the haileys training back to innocence.
She didn't know it at the time what I was doing and more or less, neither did I. I knew where I wanted her to be and where I wanted "us" to be. My slave in a healthy balanced vanilla to lifestyle relationship. It was just a matter of figuring out the how. I knew it wasn't gonna be a quick thing. If this was gonna work it was gonna be a long term thing. I didn't want this to be something we played at. I wanted it to be something we "are" and live.
The first step to all of this, was getting her into BDSM and diapers and ageplay. Three different things, but in my opinion, three things that compliment each other well. The ageplay lifestyle is a softer form of D/s. It is like anything else it has layers upon layers of what is done. Being into diapers isnt the same as being an age player. For those of you in the know about these things you'll understand what I mean by that. For those of you who aren't. A person cane be a diaper lover without ever being an adult baby or doing anything to do with ageplay.
I'm greedy. I wanted hailey to be into it all!
During the initial "getting her into things" stage we were experimenting with the various roles. Hailey liked being on the bottom and I liked being on Top. At the time I had little to no experience having been a bottom and "trained" as one. For all of Nannies patience I was a pretty willful little boy.
I started hailey slow with mixing diapers and BDSM. A little spanking here and there while she was wearing one. Light stuff. Lots of sex! I got her to the point that when I diapered her it was "GO" time. To hailey diapers equaled sex. She wasn't just turned on by my attentions to her anymore. She was turned on by the diapers themselves. She had a full blown diaper fetish.
By this time I had a pretty good idea of how I wanted things to play out. It was just a matter of getting her on board without knowing she was going anywhere hehe. I had her into diapers. Sure it was strictly sexual for her, but it was a start. It was time to move to the next phase of her training. I needed to ween her off the sexual side and move it along a different path.
The first time I diapered her and told her to go to bed with no sex she cried herself to sleep. This was the beginning to what she refers to as our "rough patch". I didn't cut sex out completely. But she started to hear "no" a lot more often then she was used to. There were many a night she cried herself to sleep at night. I would diaper her and then roll over and go to bed.
It killed me hear her crying, but she needed to learn that diapers didn't equal sex anymore. It was very hard but very important. This was a crucial part of her training. Diapers did not equal sex, diapers equaled submission. This is what I needed her to learn. If we were gonna get to where I wanted to be, she needed to not only learn this but understand and accept this.
We would talk about it a lot, not always having sex when she had her diapers on. She would get angry alot. She got spanked a lot and more then once put into the corner. It was a PUNISHMENT punishment to spank and diaper hailey then park her butt into a corner and ignore her for a while. she HATES the corner and will pretty much do anything to stay out of it.
We were exploring a lot more and trying to live the Master/slave relationship. Not always easy with three kids around. We found little ways around that. Hailey calling me Daddy was the biggest way to keep her in that mindset. It was something she could do any time, all the time and with our having kids around the house it was out in the open. Who cares if it had a double meaning for us. Hailey may be calling me Daddy but what she is really saying is Master. She hasn't called me by my first name in YEARS regardless of who is around.
I digress.
We would have many discussions on why BDSM was a sexually based lifestyle but not at the same time. And before anyone jumps down my throat, I understand completely that it varies from person to person. Some its all about the sex and others its not. Personally for me I find it very spiritual. It is sexual for me but its not all about "getting off" either.
I get off on the energy that is put out. Yeah I call myself a sadist, but its not the pain I am inflicting that I love. Its the emotions and energy that the pain causes that I do. Its why I am constantly in contact with hailey while we play. I am feeding off her energy and emotions all the while trying to share my own with her.
This is where I wanted hailey to get to. I wanted her turned on by her submission. Getting turned on by other aspects is ok as well, but it was her submission that was important.
As I said earlier, Ive always believed that ageplay and BDSM work well and compliment each other well. back on topic 😃
Once hailey got over the whole diapers equaled sex part of her development we were able to focus a lot more on the Domination and submission. I called diaper sex period it the silliness period, but it was necessary at the time to get hailey to this point.
Yes her diapers made her hot and bothered to wear but she was wearing them because I wanted her to be wearing them and it pleased me to have her so. It was one more tool in my bag to control her with. She was dressed like a "little" because that is what made me happy.
hailey has come so far and grown so much. She has learned a lot about herself and I am very proud of her.
Every so often I would throw out to her "where would we go" It was an "innocent" game I liked to play. In reality it was in preparation for what was eventually to come.
We would talk about the crazy places I was going to take her to while she was diapered. Threaten to expose her, spank her, things like that. She would get turned on by the thought but was terrified to do it. It was going to happen, it was just a matter of time.
The first time she went outside the house wearing a diaper, she went out back to have a cigarette. She was wearing only a diaper and a t-shirt and it was late at night. I was proud of her. I think it was the fastest she ever smoked a cigarette in her life. baby steps.
The first time she went out in public we went to go see a movie. She wore two sweaters that went passed her butt to hide any tell tale sign of a crinkle butt. She walked really so as to not make herself crinkle. She was convinced EVERYONE knew she was wearing a diaper. She whispered when she talked as if to not draw attention to herself. It was cute and very funny looking back on it.
By the end of the movie her girly bits were so hot and bothered. It was cute to hear her shift her weight knowing she was making herself crinkle just a little then cuddle into me. She was so turned on by the time we left that she gave me a blow job the whole way home while I drove and then attacked me once we got home.
We would do little outing's here and there. Nothing major and they didnt always end in sex. THat was a regard for positive and submissive behaviour.
After years I finally had hailey were I wanted her to be. Comfortable with herself and her submission. Going out in public was still kind of a soft limit. One of the few that I allowed her to have. I was very up front with her and told her eventually she wouldn't even have that.
The first time I spanked her in front of some vanilla friends while she was diapered she almost passed out hehe. A few days later I had her diapered for an entire week. She had to ask me to go to the bathroom, even when I was at work she would have to call me and say " Daddy I need to go pee can I go potty?" I should put it out there that I don't make hailey use diapers for their intended purposes. I have in the past as a punishment but its not part of our play. I'm not ruling it out as a "never" but at this stage in our lives not really.
Most of the time when she called I would say yes. Sometimes I would ask her why she needed to use the potty when she was wearing a diaper. This would make her squirm. There were a few times I would say no and tell her to call me back in an hour. There have been times I have simply said no and told her to use her diapers. Not as a punishment simply because I wished it so.
It was around this time that we found the local BDSM community and joined. We went to our first munch and play party at a groovy girls house (lilswitch) We met some wicked people and felt very comfortable. After a short while I diapered and collared hailey and its been wicked roller coaster ride ever since. There have been a lot of ups and downs, no regrets and lots of learning about each other all around.
She is more comfortable in them then out. They make her feel safe and secure. She sleeps better diapered and on a whole is better behaved. 😃 Daddy has his diaper slave.
They are a constant reminder with every crinkle of her submission and my dominance over her. It is sexual without being sexual. She wears them now not only because they are a comfort to her but because it makes me happy she is so.
Going back over what ive written so far I have left out so much. There simply isnt enough time to go over 10 years of mutual exploration, training and just having fun to have gotten to this point in our lives.
Its gotten to the point once again that hailey is ready for the next phase in her training. Actual ageplay.
Even though I dress her like a "little" I have never treated her like a real "little". Its more of a control thing. I have always wanted to, its part of my fetish, but its something I could never really do at the beginning. There were to many obstacles hailey and I needed to get over first.
She wasn't mature enough or self aware as she is now. She needed to not only learn but to believe in herself and trust completely enough to just give in. I had to get her into diapers, then to love them. Then not only love wearing them, but be comfortable in them. Once she hit that be comfortable enough with herself and her submission.
It was a long hard and evolved process. It was rough and not always pleasant. We made it and we are stronger for it. I couldnt tell her any of this along the way. It would have ruined the training. She needed to experience and learn then wrap her head around it all on her own. ( well with my guidance of course) hailey was a freak inside and a submissive little from the get go, she just didn't realise it.
I am sure there were quicker and easier ways I could have done this, but I love were hailey is and so proud of her. While I was training her I was learning myself. It was something we did together we both learned. I wouldn't change a thing.
I am looking forward to the next period in our play. treating hailey like a "little" not for semi humiliation or control, but for the fun of just letting go and having fun. An innocent loving, caring fun. I told her what I planed and she's nervous but willing. Its not something that will completely take over the BDSM play but its something we will mix it up. I'm excited. Its something we've toyed with in the past but I didn't take it as seriously as I could have.
Who knows where this next phase will take us. I have gotten messages in the past about doing ageplay play dates, maybe its time to revisit those offers as well.....
I appreciate the time ya took to read this. I hope you got as much out of this as I did writing it.
DaddyShdw