I can totally agree with you on much of what you say. I feel the same about letting anyone know what I do, or the like I have for such things. Lets face it, people so want to slot you in to some form of classification, and be able to slam a fast judgement down on you. They feel better somehow, one they have that done. Now they know for sure for themselves, what you are, by what they think, and that's all that matters.
And those shows, well, they are all about ratings and what sells. They aren't going to want people on, who won't draw a crowd. That's just how it is, and rarely will a better side of this type of lifestyle, or a liking for AB or DL be shown.
Hey, but that's why we have this great website to come to. We know what's what, and can except each other, and not pass the quick judgements.
One last word, there is also good and bad in everything. There are some wonderful AB/DL people, and some not so. Take it as it comes, and know the person you are, is who you want to be, and be happy!