How do you feel about yourself, and your "perversions" ?

I do not consider my interest in medfet to be a perversion at all.

I feel great about my "perversion". But after jerking, I feel very guilty, I then want to give all up.

(But only for a short moment ;-)

My comfort level with my quote "perversions" started very very young. I don't know if I saw a magazine cover, or other picture but I know I've had these feelings of wanting to be tied up or restrained early on in my young teens. Long before i even really really knew what actual sex was.

At my first sexual encounter and subsequent five or six others until I reached 18 it was just basic penis to vagina after some heavy petting, kissing. Very childish, very sweet, very vanilla sex. I'm not complaining, it's just always left me feeling and wondering like it should be something else or it's got to be more than this.

And then I met my boyfriend who was 7 years older than I. I was 18 and I didn't know it then, but he was a Dom. He introduced me to a whole world of sex that I had only slightly lifted the curtain to. What I saw behind that curtain filled me with excitement and wonder and put me on the path of loving so many "perversions". So other than scat, diapers, bloodletting, sounding, cutting, burning anything that would potentially cause harm i was introduced early. Oral, anal, double penetration, fisting is all very regular to me and don't feel the least bit perverted.

Plus, I don't think it's strange I think it's a very natural you want to feel sexually dominated and vice versa to dominate somebody sexually. In my opinion is very normal human nature.

I feel fine about my proclivities. I'm not into anything involving minors or animals, only consenting adults, so nothing to be ashamed of.

I accept that in every sense of use of the English language, I am perverted. My sexual preferences are WAY out of the mainstream. And while I know that carries a strong stigma, I have come to accept, with age, that it is simply the way I am and in all likelihood, the way I was born. I've found over approximately 63 of my 70 years that nothing I can do or think changes these fundamental factors of my personhood. So whatever anyone says, I am what I am. I've never hurt another soul through my sexual proclivities...at least without their consent. And, FWIW, I feel pretty dann good about myself and how my life has turned out.

Medfet is interesting to me, even if I don't relate to most of the fetishes therein. I think in general, it's at worst a harmless thing. Honestly, I think it's harmful when people don't know their true sexual selves. A community like this can really help a person accept themselves.

All that said, my particular medfet has some moral challenges to it. At least I think so. YMMV. My medfet basically requires a girl to be sick in such a way that she needs to wear a mask in certain public situations. Think organ transplants, multiple chemical sensitivity, peanut allergy and the like. My favorite such masks that I've seen a patient wear are 3M 1860 (those thick, double-banded aqua N95 disposables. If any of you is a nurse by profession, you likely know them) and cartridge respirators (yes, one hospital in northern CA has patients wear them immediately after transplant for a phase).

About 11 years ago, I met a 19 year old girl (I was 30) who was going for a lung transplant. She had an account on deviantART where she showed off her artwork, which included modeling. Some of her modeling had her wearing a cartridge respirator. In her bio, she mentions the disease she lives with (CF), and elsewhere in it, she states being open for commissions.

I get all nervous, but I go ahead and PM her, saying that I know what CF is and that I actually have a fetish for girls in masks (I am not yet aware of the term "medfet"). I propose a photoshoot and give her my AIM. Within an hour, she appears on my AIM and says "hi". I'm terrified at this point, but she puts me at ease and we work something out. We became true friends for over a year, during which time I got to see her several times (she lived in my state), including in each of two of the masks she had in her wardrobe.

Over that time, I befriend several of her friends, albeit online, and at least two of them mention my fetish in a favorable way (my friend had told them. I didn't.).

I'm rambling. Since that time, it's been mixed. I've now learned to keep it to myself. I look at pics of such medfet situations. Maybe a girl is out on her hospital floor in whatever mask they make you wear there. Another girl's doctor ordered her to wear a 3M cartridge respirator on a plane. Etc. etc. But I never comment "cute pic" or something if she's in a mask for medical reasons.

I'm mixed, I guess. I love that this is a fetish umbrealla, but I get lonely at how secretive I need to be. I'm physically disabled, and so that severely limits any opportunities for romance. It';s just been kind of a taboo. Plus, I've moved around a whole lot. So, my social chops are a bit lacking.

I do love my fantasy world overall. I can dream of whatever girl I like, real or imagined, and she is wearing a mask with her normal clothes: schoolgirl-type outfits, pajamas, even a bikini at times. And it's not looked down upon. Like Japan, I guess, but in english and with WASPY athletic soccer, ballet and gymnastic girls.

I struggle with this often. I often times feel "guilty" but can't really justify why I feel guilty! I am NOT into anything that hurts anyone.. and NOTHING illegal or insane... So why feel guilty?

I... like so many... have been "brain washed" by society and a conservative upbringing. I enjoy things that would not be considered vanilla by society, yet so many secretly enjoy the same.

I have been TRYING to reason with myself and realize that all forms of sex is good (as long as consensual and legal of course). Everyone has their turn ons and kinks!

The thing that makes me most crazy are those who judge others due to kinks they may not like (yet they themselves enjoy other things that are just as kinky or more)!

When I am watching some videos with someone giving CPR and then the person's heart is still not beating for long time or I even come across some sad videos (accidentally) I feel guilty. Most of the times I am turning the video off few seconds before I cum because I feel that guilty.. then after an hour I'd do the same again, I struggle with this and I can't find a reason why..

I am posting for the first time after 9 months joining. Pretty much lurking on this site. I love it btw!No one knows about my med fetish. This is the first time I have told anyone. Actually my ex knew I think but never mentioned it. I realize if I want to communicate with someone then I must post. Well here I am Zitsy. My name is SweetRN and I have a gyno fetish.

Hi @SweetRN . Welcome to Zity. Hope to hear more from you.

Fn

For me, it's hard to put into words why I feel a sense of "shame" about my inclinations. I think being brought up in a very conservative way, where sex was never truly discussed, helped to reinforce this idea of keeping things private. I'm into things centered around the idea of medical fetishes and things adjacent to them, but I'm also quite submissive with a masochistic streak. Trying to justify that, or even make sense of that, has been hard for me over the years. After all, "good girls" don't like things that aren't vanilla. It's taken me years to accept that there really isn't any way to get rid of those parts of me so I may as well just accept it and move on.

From reading the posts, I see many people are ashamed, embarrassed or feel guilty about their perversions--at least temporarily.

I for one love all my taboo perversions and sex acts. There are a myriad of acts I perform that are very pleasureful and while I do care if repressed vanilla mental midgets know my proclivities, I have many friends into the same sick perversions as myself, and we enjoy them very much. I haven't even mentioned some of them here because the politically correct do-gooders and legal eagles might object.

Basically, I don't get into any of the psycho-skrinko-babble, spiritual, karma, biblical or deity bullshit because there is no higher power watching me. I am my own free person doing what makes me happy. I make no excuse for enjoying my sexual and sado-masochistic tendencies.

I do what I do because I enjoy it. It's not that I don't care what others think, because I do, and that is why I don't advertize my proclivities to vanilla friends and neighbors. I have a reputation to uphold in the community, so what I do in the privacy of my own home, or the homes of other like minded people is just fine and we keep it to ourselves.

Most of the world is horribly repressed, including many who think they are open minded, and unfortunately many of them want to make the rules for other people. This happens at all levels in all organizations. We have to watch out for those politically correct and severely misguided people. It is no one else's business what I do. Every night I pray (I'm being facetious -- there's no god out there) that anyone who would try to stop me or other like minded people from performing what they enjoy should suffer the worst consequences and punishment that Satan can dream up. 😈

While I do not have all the sick proclivities a lot of others do - I have no Hangups about what we did. Shared it with some close friends who shared their kinks with us. But never did as couples. Sick proclivities are only in the eye of the beholder. It’s only shameful if you feel guilt about it - or if you’re Catholic.

While I do not have all the sick proclivities a lot of others do - I have no Hangups about what we did. Shared it with some close friends who shared their kinks with us. But never did as couples. Sick proclivities are only in the eye of the beholder. It’s only shameful if you feel guilt about it - or if you’re Catholic.

Hey, who you calling sick? ? I agree with every one of the interests you posted on your Profile except possibly one. No guilt here. I love my kinks and predilections and so have my last several GF's and an ex-wife. I do wonder how they affect my ability to maintain a LT loving relationship with a wife or GF, and, like Susie, don't advertise them to the vanilla world, but I deal with that as necessary. Thank you, Zity, for being here and bringing all these folks together who need a place to talk and enjoy discussing our habits with each other.

Eric

This is the first time I have ever shared or admitted to anyone my little secret thoughts. I have always thought of them as just a part of myself and not as perversions. They certainly do not harm anyone and as far as I can tell they have not interfered with my ability to enjoy life and form healthy relationships. I actually enjoy my little idiosyncrasies. I think that is why I like Zity I can share them and they are still my little secrets. Sharing my fantasies on Zity is like having sex and still being a virgin - OMG! This is a great topic for my next blog page

While I do not have all the sick proclivities a lot of others do -

I was being facetious. Sick proclivities are just kinks I don’t have. They are not sick Unless they harm someone who doesn’t want to be harmed. .

I am happy with mine, egosyntonic in other words... fantasies my conscious will allow me to live with. Egodystonic eroticism would be very bad. Anything involving rape, predatory behavior, bestiality or violence are just a few examples which are definitely NOT the way of Maddoc. Such atrocities I find too abhorrent to even think about, let alone fantasize about. That is all I have to say about that. I may have my PERversions but I am no PREvert!

NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL!

Like it or not, we're all a bunch of perverts!

Define "normal"

I think perhaps that I could have worded my reply a bit better. I don't so much feel shame any longer, as I do a sense of uncertainty. I do wish that I had a certain higher degree of self confidence, but I feel I am not alone in my way of thinking. I was raised in a very odd way and, admittedly, it wasn't the most nurturing of environments. That alone gave me some self confidence issues that have lingered despite multiple therapists and what should amount to a measured share of Jack Daniels stock. Coupled with the societal idea of what is "normal" being pounded into my brain, I've had a few issues accepting that I don't like vanilla ice cream, let alone vanilla sex.

This could be because my medical fetish seems to coexist with a very strong submissive sexuality as well, and that just leaves me confused a lot of times. I would love if I could somehow wake up with a vanilla sexuality because there is so much of me that wants to buy into that societal ideal of what is normal and what is okay. For people like me, I guess we just want to not be different for once. I'm not saying that is right, in fact, I am saying it is far from right to be ashamed of what you are and what you want. I wish that I was confident about my interests. Heck, I wish that I could somehow construct a vibrant flag depicting a speculum, a whip, and preferably a penguin with a bow tie that I could wave with a sense of pride. (I'm not into penguins in a sexual sense, but dang it, if I ever get to make a flag, I'm putting a penguin sporting a festive holiday bow tie on it.)

Would I change what I like if I could? I don't know. Am I still a bit scared to admit that I like what I like? Yep. Big Yep (with a purposely placed capital for emphasis.) However, finding a site like this makes me feel not so abnormal, and maybe not so alone in my interests. For that I am very thankful and I do hope that I haven't offended anyone by including the word shame in my original post.

NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL!

Like it or not, we're all a bunch of perverts!

@maddoc63 said

Define "normal"

the usual, average, or typical state or condition.

That's how all the dictionaries I read define "normal"

If we were "normal" our kinks would be vanilla activities.

I feel unique, and out of place, like I've been beamed down to the wrong planet.. but it's not because of my kinks, it just because the way I see existence here on this planet. My kinks help take my mind off of this...

I don't know how do I feel, in one way I am happy with who I am but on the other hand I am unhappy with society thinking kinks are weird. I feel that a lot of people are supressing their kinks and living vanilla life because they are afraid of what others think and how others try to set rules of what is normal and what is not. Once you realise that you should live however the fuck you want to then you can start to discover yourself. Even I didn't know much about some kinks but I took some time to learn as it seemt interesting to me. And guess what? There is nothing weird about it, actually I think kinky people are very happy in their lives and mentally seem very healthy.

50-100 years ago people thought oral sex was kinky, not that everybody didn't do it.

Presently, if you're talking about sex, everyone will admit to oral and they will not even consider it kinky.

50-100 years ago people thought oral sex was kinky, not that everybody didn't do it.

Presently, if you're talking about sex, everyone will admit to oral and they will not even consider it kinky.

I'm going to surmise that seldom-practiced or non-existent bathing and hygiene habits made oral sex unattractive for many all that time ago. The French invented the bidet (or at least enthusiastically embraced the convenience) but the rest of the Western world thought it too perverted a contraption apparently.

So, no real wonder if oral sex was considered kinky when people took their first bath come spring time ... ha ha. But don't joke too much, that old joke was still being used in Looney Tunes cartoons and Abbott and Costello sketches not that long ago.

Nowadays it almost seems if people don't shower at least twice a day they are lacking the proper hygiene habits.

Welcome to Zity @curiousintx. You are in the right place at the right time. You are definitely no longer alone in your thoughts and feelings. Relax, enjoy the party and make some friends.

First of all I do not view myself and others in kinky life style as having perversions . Whether you are kinky or vanilla, everyone has a dark side just as every community does also. I f you are not being a detriment to nonconcenting individuals or publicly offending other reasonable people ,then enjoy the ride. If you think,you just invented so new sexual act or scenario ,dream on ,most likely some did a 1000 years ago, .. Mankind has been chasing sexual pleasure since Adam and Eve.

Murder , robbery and crimes against humanity are perverse.

I feel great. I love life. I love women. I love Texas. I love playing in bed. I love to make people love themselves. I love sunsets. I love my family. I want to love you. I love my perversions. H A T E isn't in my vocabulary of love.

Recently I read Paul Ableman's book 'The Mouth and Oral Sex' (1969). He puts it well: 'In this book, we will resort to the term "deviant" ... simply for classificatory purposes. We nonetheless want to repudiate firmly the notion that there is anything categorically different about someone whose mode of sexual expression differs, no matter how widely, from the statistical average.' (p. 71)

- Ken

Perversions ?!?!?!?

What perversions ?

And I had a friend who always said, "Nothing is perverted if you admit it."

Perversions ?!?!?!?

What perversions ?

And I had a friend who always said, "Nothing is perverted if you admit it."

Or simply accept it without guilt.