How to Switch?

To all you switches out there: how do you do it? Do you wear different clothes when in receiving or giving role? How can I get into a more submissive mindset? So far it seems to me topping is fun (but hard work!) yet I also really want to be able to "let go" once in a while. Maybe bondage will do the trick? Schoolgirl's outfit? ??? What "pushes the button" for you?

I will say it is much more relaxing to be in the submissive role even when receiving corporal punishment than to be a top.

A top that knows more than beating their submissive to a pulp has a much more difficult and tiring job to do both physically and mentally.

When I am the top, I often wear heels, corsets, latex wear, leather wear, velvet, etc, but when I am the bottom, I am usually naked, leaving all my parts open for torment and occasional pleasure for when my husband feels I have been good or deserving of a perk.

I don't really get into the school girl role, but frilly short skirts that require lifting before a butt blistering paddling sounds good. A little lingerie leaving your sensitive areas exposed is also good for other activities in a submissive role.

You get into s submissive mindset [you'll like this] by getting into a submissive mindset. If you want to practice alone, you can tie your ankles together and then wrists together. Then put on a blindfold and just lay absolutely still. Set a timer for a predetermined amount of time and just settle into the situation. DO NOT release yourself early. If you are very disciplined, you can force yourself to simply lay absolutely still without the restraints--even if you have to scratch your nose--suffer baby!

I just noticed you are from The Netherlands. Its too bad they don't have the Europerve event anymore--at least I haven't seen anything about it for a couple of years. I would love to take part in that again.

What is the europerve?????

A

Hihi... a party.

BTW... "forcing yourself to simply lay absolutely still without restraints even if you have to scratch your nose" is not submission, that's fucking meditation practice! Which I did. For about an hour a day. Until I ran out of discipline lol!

[quote author=Umami-Me link=topic=58996.msg397713#msg397713 date=1320872512]

Hihi... a party. BTW... "forcing yourself to simply lay absolutely still without restraints even if you have to scratch your nose" is not submission, that's fucking meditation practice! Which I did. For about an hour a day. Until I ran out of discipline lol!

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Well, it's clear then, YOU NEED A GOOD SPANKING and good restraints.

Europerve was (I think the last one was 2009 or 2010, none that I know of in 2011) was a fetish ball extravaganza. You could do just about anything between consenting partners including sex of just about any kind you could imagine. Check out the DeMask website. On the lower center portion of the page it says "Europerve past." Click that.

http://www.demask.com/dynamic/index.asp

http://www.latexnews.com/website/europervexiii.html

http://www.latexnews.com/website/europerve2001.html

You had to arrive in fetish wear. It was similar, only MUCH better than San Francisco's Halloween Exotic Erotic Ball. By comparison, the Exotic Erotic Ball was a party for children.

Wow... and to European standards that's even more of a dance party than a play party...

The last party I went to in Germany (in a small village near Hamburg) was at a small villa in a nice neighborhood. There were about 60 people: the dress code was "latex only". The food was great, you could drink whatever you wanted and as much as you wanted (whether it was freshly made tea or whiskey) and there were about 6 different play spaces including a "latex vacuum suction bed" spanking benches and a gyno chair which we were only too happy to test out! 😃 Right next to us, in the same room divided by only a see-through curtain was a couple "getting at it" with the woman lying on some sort of think wooden board hanging on chains from the ceiling while her partner was fucking her standing in front of it (her legs were suspended in the air for good access) Later that night we took a peek into another room and we saw the same couple this time the man being pegged by the woman, while they were both wearing gas masks. I kid you not! Next time we'll take pictures lol!

I believe what you said. That's what Europerve was like. Spanking, fucking, whipping, bondage of all kinds, you name it. It was an S&M fuckfest with loads of people and equipment. You just had to come properly dressed. Hundreds or possibly more than a thousand people attended. People didn't go there to dance.

About those restraints... I want a straight jacket for Christmas... 😜

About the spanking... I'm afraid I'm already too spoiled for that...

Do you have private parties in the US where you can do just about anything --as long as you clean up after yourself?

[quote author=Umami-Me link=topic=58996.msg397727#msg397727 date=1320877183]

Do you have private parties in the US where you can do just about anything --as long as you clean up after yourself?

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Unfortunately none that I know of or have attended. No fucking allowed. No exchange of fluids are permitted--at least you can't be caught doing it and many public play parties in the US have monitors. I have been to several in NYC which get very wild, but again, no fluid exchange, and the use of condoms doesn't count. No penetrations.

If you want that, you have to do it at private parties, which we have attended.

Switchablesusie you are right on the money, we are switches, we both enjoy it that way, at times when I get home I just want to submit to her, the stereo type of worked hard all day telling the crew what to do etc, just need a release from it. I generally call my wife during the day to talk with her telling her about the day, hoping to start the events for later in the day when I arrive home.

For me, I'm more often like being a sub for my fiance. I think it stems from my trust in him. He's more vanilla and though I have ask and he has tied me up for some sessions, he always makes sure its not to tight even if that's want I want. I remember one time before actually started having intercourse. He had tied me up with some ribbons I had and a pair of handcuffs. He was just kissing me but with some of the locations I was pulling hard on the restraints in pleasure. I plan on making him redo that when we get to see each other again cause I know we'd both enjoy it now more. Needless to say, trust in the person and at times love can help being a sub more wonderful. Yeah I'm still leading him down the rabbit hole slowly but I'm getting him to at least be willing to try some things with me to which I'm grateful.

For me, the switch happens when my partner's tone of voice and body language show me that he wishes to dominate me. It is, literally, a switch in my head that goes from D to s. And as long as he doesn't ask the impossible of me I can be a good girl. But the threat is always there...don't push my buttons. So, I must admit, I'm not the perfect switch. There is always a part of my dominant nature that remains on guard, so to speak, ready to snap me back to D.

I'm a sadistic Top-Switch. When I switch, I bottom, I never submit. I enjoy sensation, not much pain.

That's the way it is for me. YMMV

Also for me it's my partner's tone of voice and her body language to swicth the button. Usually we switch in the same scene, starting with me as a DOM and finishing as a sub, with my partner controlling my orgasm.

L met a woman online many years ago. We clicked and told each other our deepest darkest sexual fantasies, no matter how perverted. We also agreed to do anything the other wanted, no matter what. We met after a lot of conversations, it was magical and incredible. What I feel is unique is that we both subed and domed at the same time. Sometimes I was being domed by her and in a heart beat I was doming her, thereby reversing roles.

We both got into our roles, taking queues from our conversations, it all started when she started being a bitch to me, so I grabbed her by the hair and slapped her face, while she started undoing my pants and pulled them down. She was telling me that I was going to get my ass fucked. Get the picture? We spent three days doing this to each other and it was a blast.

Most of me and my friends switched now it's not so much a technique it's just taking turns. We usually get together for the day and one of us does the other one and then we switch.