Old and in the way,
First of all, I looked at your profile because of your unique name, just to see how old you are, lol. Ummm, don't know if it makes you feel any better, but you are a long way from old. Besides that, I read a previous post of yours about the 69 position where you mentioned that you get a totally different feeling depending on whether or not you are on top or she is. Well friend, I"m here to tell you that if you are still able to get yourself in those types of positions, then again, you are not at all "old and in the way." It sounds like to me that your partner probably finds you quite useful, lol. But I digress.....
You made a comment in your above post that struck me as a bit odd. I am probably over stepping my bounds here, but I want to tell you something from a womans side of things.
You said and I quote, "I don't feel as selfish receiving pleasure if I'm giving it at the same time."
Again, I am getting up on my psych soap box, so please be kind. Sex is very different for men and women, both physically and mentally speaking. I can't speak for anyone but myself here, and the others in which I have discussed this sort of thing with, but, and again, I do not know what kind of relationship you have with your partner, but from a few of your other posts it sounds as if the two of you love each other, which makes a whole lot of difference in what I am trying to tell you here.
When a woman really loves a man, and is totally in love with him, she wants to please him. And believe it or not, I don't have to have an orgasm to be pleased in bed with Doc. Do I want to cum, yes, absolutely, does it excite me that he wants to and cares that he is pleasing me too, yes, again, absolutely, but because I love him so much, it isn't a deal breaker.
There have been so many times that the best sex I have had with Doc during our week have been the times when he allowed me to just sort of take him over, take his control, and I don't necessarily mean whips, chains, and under the bed restraint systems, but when I have lead him to bed, slowly taken his clothes off, kissed him seductively, and climbed on top of him and rode him gently and slowly until he came.
Did I cum, no, did I even come close to cumming, no, but it wasn't about me, it was about him. I wanted to give him his most prized posession, which is me. I know that I completely and totally pleased him by doing so, which, I know doesn't make a lick of sense to you guys, but for us women, totally pleasing our men that we love, pleases us just as much, and sometimes even more, even without having an orgasm.
That's what love does to you. It makes you want to give 100 percent of yourself to the other, and not expect anything in return. It's a gift, an offering of one's total self to the other.
I could go into more psycho babble as to why we are this way, but I won't bore you with that, lol. You can thank me later for not doing that to you, lol.
So please try to remember what I have told you. Sometimes your woman just wants you to relax, lay back and let her service you like the king I am sure she sees you as to her. It's not being selfish if you lay back and allow her to service you because she wants to. Men tend to be fixers, hero's, meaning they can come in and save the day, and men tend to think if they are not doing such that we might think they are selfish or lazy, but again, when it comes to the bedroom, that isn't always the case.
So the next time your woman wants to give you that gift, that gift being her thinking only about you, remember, by you accepting her gift of herself, in reality, you are pleasing her just as much by doing so.
And the next time you feel like giving a little without something in return, strip her pants off, stick your face in her nether regions, and then when she stops screaming your name, tell her that Mashie sent you, lol. Just kidding.
Gook luck, and I do hope to hear more from you. I like your candidness.
Mashie