Am I gay?

Yes very nice and correct post!

I'm very anally erotic just the thought of pushing the nozzle up my ass gets me excited. But I have become comfortable in the fact that I am a bi-sexual or as susie puts it heteroflexible. I have been this way my whole life.

Lots of straight men enjoy anal stimulation (and, despite the stereotype, lots of gay men do not). Anal eroticism and homosexuality are two different things. Get your wife to take you with a strap on... it will likely cause more questions, but like the millions of straight guys getting pegged tonight you'll LOVE it.

It's completely up to you if you feel gay or not, but I have read some examples where the boy gets penetrated and not being gay. It's not a fact to be gay beacause of being penetrated by a guy.

I am not gay but could very easily be BI! I had anal sex one time, he was in me. I also tried to give a friend a blow job, but he stopped me before I could get him hard. My wife has plugged me many times & made me cum into my mouth. Now that I no longer have erections, I think more & more about a hard penis!

As someone who is Bi, the test I applied to myself was did I like women. I determined that I enjoyed girls a bit more than guys, so while you might entertain a few homosexual fantasies the bottom line is if you like women sexually you are not gay.

No, it most certainly doesn't mean you are gay! If anything you are that much more manly and straight that you can admit that you like most men are aroused by the nerves in and around your anus being stimulated.

I personally don't think it makes you gay to take a cock in your ass. To me being gay means you love men. You love everything about them and want to be with only men. Being straight means you love everything about women and want to be with only women. That said, I have played with many dildo's and none are the same as the real thing. A cock is hard yet soft.. it has give to it that dildo's just don't have.. but it also has warmth and the skin on it moves a bit and provides the most arousing friction and sensation on your anus! I DO NOT suggest you cheat on your wife with a man.. but if you maybe buy a ultraskin or cyberskin dildo and make sure you use a condom because they can get dirty quickly and have to be thrown away.. but experiment on your own! Also consider buying a butt plug if you like the sensation of your anus being opened a little which is in fact intensely erotic! Especially when you are having sex! That way your wife doesn't need to fuck you.. and you still get the stimulation!

People love to throw labels around but sexual orientation is a very complex thing and to me it boils down to who you fall in love with. Straight men can fool around with a guy and still be straight just like gay men can fool around with a woman and still be gay. Experimentation doesn't change your orientation. The heart does. You sound like you truly love women but have some curiosity about getting fucked by a guy. I am sad to hear that you didn't get to experience this before you met your wife as it's an incredibly hot experience and is one of the most intense orgasms you can have.. (cumming while a guy is inside you or fucking you) But you can still experiment with toys!!

I am straight. When I was in my twenties I visited one of my friends and his gay friend happened to be with him. We had a normal chat for a while and my friend asked me if I am interested in other men and I said ‘no way’. Then we started drinking and started talking deeper about gay things. Then my friend had anal intercourse with his gay friend. Something he wouldn’t have done if he wasn’t after drinks. But the point is I enjoyed watching it. So I think it is not the gender that arouses us but the action.

I personally don't think, enjoying anal sex by a man means he is a gay. anal sex is a matter of feeling that some person enjoys some doesn't but that in no way connected towards the sexual orientation of a person.

I am not gay but sometimes I LOVE having my favorite dildo deep inside me. Typing one handed is slow and difficult. I need an extra hand. Anyone wanna hep me out? The way I look at is like this. Sometimes I go long lonely stretches without a girlfriend like the last several years. I have a lady who gives me FWB sex but the sex isn't as good as it could be. I prefer women but sometimes want a nice hot cock plowing my backdoor. i am retired and find i wannna check off sex w.multiple partners. like an orgy. enema play daisy chain 'baitin' having my ass eaten with a long hot tpngue is what I wood prefer right this minute but i am alone so i gotta make do. if i lived in san fran or capitol hill i'd park at the cuff and pick up some hot twink. i took a stayhard pill an hour ago and i think it has kicked in. first time i ever done that. feels real nice. i want my cock buried in my subs ass and a nice 7 incher slammin my hot hole. im glad i got 2 of those pills. i neeed 2 head 4 neighbors and pickup a hot cocksman.

Interesting question that I have off and on considered. Sexuality and orientation - is that really the same? Interest in anal sex and stimulation doesn't seem gay so much as looking for stimulation. By extension, masturbating doesn't make you heterosexual either. Maybe orientation isn't relevant either and it is just the situation with which we are presented.

I met someone on a dating website who was curious. He had an anal experience with a man while at a party and was curious enough to do it again. I'm 100 percent positive he's straight. Just because you're curious or like anal play doesn't make you gay. Different straight men I know love the anal experience. I would say, follow your heart and your dreams.

Fuck the labels - if it feels good, do it, just sayin'. 😉

I think sex is sex (as long as between consensual adults), regardless who those adults are.

My definition of "gay" means you could/want to have a loving relationship with the same sex.

I believe one can have sex without having those feelings.

I agree with Lora C. If it feels good, just do it. If I am being penetrated I could care less if it were with my GF and a dildo or a guy going in me. I am not drawn to males emotionally but in the sexual high of a threesome or foursome I have no problem sucking on a guy's cock or allowing him to put his cock in me. My GF loves watching 2 guys having sex and if it feels good and the timing is right, I am glad to make her fantasies come true. I have been with just a guy before, but I prefer enjoying another male with my GF there. It adds to the excitement and like a snowball effect it just makes the experience even more intense and enjoyable. Why everyone has to try and put labels on everyone is beyond me. If you are gay you will realize you prefer males to females and if you are bi you will equally realize you have no preference to either. Why not just enjoy those you are with and make the moment as good and exciting as it can be.

I think sex is sex (as long as between consensual adults), regardless who those adults are.

My definition of "gay" means you could/want to have a loving relationship with the same sex.

I believe one can have sex without having those feelings.

But @jce3106 it is not just whether 2 men fall in love with each other or not. A man who just has sex with other men but does not get into relationships with them is still gay.

@Amethyst I respect your opinion but do not agree. I think gay is more mental and emotional (with or without actual "love") than just physical.

But @jce3106 it is not just whether 2 men fall in love with each other or not. A man who just has sex with other men but does not get into relationships with them is still gay.

Hmmm ... I'd go with the emotional aspect, like jce3106 describes. It's not so much about doing specific same-sex things that makes a person innately gay, it has more to do with feelings, however intense or not they tend to get.

How for instance does one classify someone who likes she-males/t-girls/transgenders (or whatever the term is nowadays). I'd say that the overall femininity of a transgender body indicates that someone attracted to them is not necessarily gay as in same sex, celebrating-masculinity gay. Quite different appreciations and attraction and arousal factors.

And perhaps people who engage in same-sex acts are simply indifferent to gender, it's all good to them.

The engaging-in-same-sex-acts-and-therefore-being-gay sounds a bit too much like a contagion thing. A concept that seems to be used by people and groups with an openly anti-gay agenda.

I'd say that at most it makes one bi, indifferent or open. Or easy to please since it's all good ... ha ha.

Amethyst is correct in her description.

You don't need to be in love, you just have to have consensual homosexual sex, which is different from having homosexual sex in a prison where doing it might be necessary for survival. You certainly do not have to love the person having homosexual sex to be gay any more than a woman having sex with a man has to love him to be a heterosexual.

If you engage in sex with the same sex, you are at least BIsexual, if not homosexual.

full disclosure: I have sex with women a few times a year so I'm clearly not prejudiced.

You don't need to be in love,

It is not especially a question of being in love.

It is quite easy in some circumstances to become engaged in gay sexual acts, to enjoy them and still not be innately gay. Just like in the prison example, a very forcible and an at-the-edge-of-the-spectrum example, people may end up engaging in gay sex acts by a progression of circumstances. But still on the whole prefer sex with the opposite sex.

Of course having same-sex sex and equating that with homosexuality is an easy and legalistic way of looking at reality. It's also a bit medical in a way, as in likening it to an infection. Do it with a same-sex partner and wham, you catch the virus. That seems to be the idea behind so much gay sex hysteria, and also why some people think they can 'cure' others or themselves of gayness. Don't do gay sex and you're cured because it doesn't happen, sort of like staying sober in an AA program.

An attraction for either gender lies in the heart of your appreciation, in longings and urges and desires. Not what you do. That is how a court of law would handle the question. It would be awful for it to come to that alone as a determination.

Thank you @Switchablesusie that is totally what I meant.

@agracier I am not anti-gay. Yeah I know a lot of sexual feelings are to do with falling in love but a person who just has casual physical sex is still having sexual feelings too. A man who just has casual sex with women and does not fall in love is still straight. A man who just has casual sex with other men and does not fall in love is still gay. I know there is a lot in between too, it is complicated and I do not like really to put labels on people but straight and gay are easy ones to understand I think.

I'm not saying anything about anyone being anti-gay. And it's not about being in love either. Love is too special and undefined to bring into these kind of discussions. I was talking about attraction and desire, about what gender one deeply wishes for as a partner.

If you use a definition that takes into account only sexual acts, then what does one do for instance with people who never act on their urges and desires? There are people who, for whatever reasons, do not act on their same-sex desires. Does that make them any less gay? Or conversely, does that get them into heaven since they never transgress? It does work in the eyes of the law since only actions count. Luckily the law cannot read our minds and prosecute people for their desires ...

So, just saying that using sexual acts only as a measuring stick is easy, but probably very inaccurate.

@agracier but I did not say it was only to do with sexual acts. Yeah I know a man could be gay and not have physical sex and it could just be desire that does not get physical. But physical sex is a part of expressing it too. So some man could be gay and not even ever have sex. Or he could be gay, not really have relationships and just have sex that does not have love attached to it.

Has nothing to do with being gay.

The anus - and in men - the prostate - is loaded with sensation!

So some man could be gay and not even ever have sex.

I would agree with that. In my own case, I've never had any kind of sexual contact with another man. And I do have sex with my wife (on those rare occasions when she's willing). Based solely on those facts, that makes me heterosexual. However, I do also look at other men and occasionally fantasize about them, wondering what it might feel like to actually have some kind of contact with them. And I also look at women other than my wife and sometimes feel the same way. I believe that makes me bisexual, or at a minimum, bi-curious, even though I've never acted on my feelings.

If we are to define gay (or bi), I really think you need to separate desire from action. If someone has the desire to have some kind of sexual contact with a person of the same sex, then I think they are gay. And by sexual contact, I mean ANY sexual contact including simple touching and fondling, all the way to oral or anal sex. Just because they might not have ever acted on those desires, it doesn't negate their true feelings and suddenly make them not-gay.

Has nothing to do with being gay.

The anus - and in men - the prostate - is loaded with sensation!

That's right, and when you have another man play with it, you are at least BISEXUAL, NOT STRAIGHT

I have ZERO interest in kissing, holding hands, talking sweet or anything of the sort to another guy but I will have sex with him at the drop of a hat. I love women, and all that goes with a relationship with a woman, including being married and having a family life with her so I don't really know what you would label me, if one needed to do so...

I have ZERO interest in kissing, holding hands, talking sweet or anything of the sort to another guy but I will have sex with him at the drop of a hat. I love women, and all that goes with a relationship with a woman, including being married and having a family life with her so I don't really know what you would label me, if one needed to do so...

Bisexual.

Was there ever any question?

I've never had any interest in kissing, holding hands etc. or otherwise having a romantic relationship with a man. However, as I matured I started thinking that I could be interested in sucking a man or being fucked by him. This is purely theoretical since I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman.

Here's something from an older episode of '30 Rock' that is tangentially applicable.

An older news anchor is reminiscing about his days reporting WWII and goes into the typical 'back when I was young' mode' (when I was young men wore their hair short, women knew their place, etc ). He also says with a stern, straight face, but with a gleam in his eye: 'back in my days, when two men wanted to do something in private, it wasn't called being gay, it was called celebrating each others strength ...'

Whatever gets you through the night, right? 😃 😃 😃