Am I gay?

Enjoying anal penetration does not make you gay, the anus is also considered an erotic area. Feeling sexual stimulation while experiencing an enema is not uncommon.

It doesn’t ‘make’ you gay. Men who are gay have to find ways of having sex together (the ‘default’ method isn’t available, right?), and anal play works for many of us, though not all. But that implies it must also be viable and potentially pleasurable for many men who aren’t gay. Some discover it, and good for them. It’s unfortunate that it bothers some of them, quite unnecessarily, because they think there must be something inherently gay about it.

I don't think it makes you gay. anal eroticism has just become popular. Heteroflexible maybe? as long as you're not attracted to males you're probably not gay. Sex is sex!

I think it's best to look at the very basic definition of what being gay/lesbian constitutes - and that is simply being physically attracted to members of the same gender as yourself. Being able to "fall in love" and becoming infatuated with someone of your own gender. In simple terms, that's it.

Performing sexual acts with someone of your own gender while not really attracted (in a "love" way) to them, can blur matters as to whether it is gay or not. Many men in prison engage in homosexual acts while being ostensibly hetero otherwise. They simply do it because women aren't available and it allows them to engage in sexually lustful acts with someone else. Maybe gayness can develop from something like this - who knows?

All we really know is that being truly gay in its "pure" sense, is NOT a lifestyle choice. It's how that person is made. Like having blue eyes. Or blonde hair. It's just another trait among all the characteristics and features that make up the human population as a whole, and which contributes to distinguish each individual from all others. So, it's NORMAL. If you're a male and like anal sex and even contemplate experimenting with a real, live other male to see if it floats your boat - why worry if you're gay or not? Like hearse said: sex is sex!

Firstly, prison sex is usually a dominance/submission event, not even a sexual release act.

Gay or lesbian is much more about emotions than acts. It's about who you love in a romantic way, not who you play with.

@agracier...

You missed the point. I was referring to the responses to such scenes. The immediate response to two men having sex is "that's so gay". The immediate response to two women having sex is not "that's lesbian" its more like "that's so hot!". I'm not talking about people who understand and accept alternate lifestyles. I was referring to the beer-drinking, football game watching, plain sex in the missionary position types that have no clue that there is such a thing as an alternate lifestyle. Or maybe you have never had any experience with them. In any case, dismount from your high horse, please...

You missed the point. I was referring to the responses to such scenes.

Yup, I missed the point you were making totally ... but with a one sentence post that can be read many ways, missing the point is something that more easily happens ... a bit more explanation and things are clearer and it´s easier to understand what is meant.

Very pleased to read these posts...I was concerned that I might be gay in some way, and not knockin gays at all. My son was born gay. I have always wondered what having in me would feel like for the sex act only.

I hope one day labels go away, Many people like all kinds of sex and relationships. I hope one day it will be that people can have sex and relationships without all all of the nonsense about who does what to whom and if they are gay or straight, in between or whatever. There are all spectrums of sex, often society spends way too much time on sexual definitions.

How come, when two men are exploring anal sex together it's gay, but when it's two women it's just hot?? Reverse sexism?

When I'm with a woman, I am a homosexual. When I am with my husband, I am a heterosexual.

I don't need any sugar coated, politically correct word like "gay" or "lesbian" or "bisexual" or "heteroflexible" (which is where I place myself on the hetero to homosexual continuum) or anything else to make it OK.

Men who play with men are performing homosexual acts. Women playing with women are performing homosexual acts. That's all there is to it. You only need a politically correct word for it if you are not confident in yourself.

I will say that esthetically, two women look more beautiful, to me anyway, than two men fucking each other. I will also say I do like watching male gay/homosexual porn because it's hot. We're just prettier to watch than they are!

I will also say I do like watching male gay/homosexual porn because it's hot. We're just prettier to watch than they are!

I've had some very very pretty boy friends! LOL

I would say that i am straight though i really enjoy gay porn every bit as much as hetro or lesbian porn , my own opinion as far as being "gay" is concerned is that if you enjoy kissing , caressing and generally loving a same sex partner then you are probably gay . If on the other hand you like watching , fantasise about or indulge in same sex sex then you are just the same as everybody else but have the BALLS to admit it ! Peace and penetration 😉

It really sucks that society has to put a label on everything and everyone.

If I had to be labeled I guess I would be bi.

As I have received Anal from another man as well as given Anal to another man. I have also received blow jobs from men.

Yet, I have never kissed a man and have never had any desire to. I could never be in a relationship with another man, as I could not kiss, hug, or cuddle with a man. just doesn't appeal to me in any way. So I know I am not Gay, but absolutely Bi!

Everyone else would call me gay!

You know if your gay or not, if you are so what!

Be you and be happy, you deserve it!

Anal sex may not make you gay, but it can sure make you happy.

It seems having an anal fetish or being anal erotic is fairly common. For so long I thought this made me strange or extraordinarily different. To discover that your not alone with such a personal issue is very liberating.

What is bad is the constant need for labels.

Being anally erotic by itself does not make you gay.

I am in the group that you are either born gay, bi, or straight. There was never a day in my life that I can remember that I was not attracted to guys. I played basketball, baseball, tied to act and talk like a man, and even told awful gay jokes, simply because I was afraid of being bullied. I knew what the guys would do and say if I ever came out. Keep in mind, am 60 now and the time had not yet come that being gay and being out was not such a big deal.

I guess I look at your question that I believe you do know what your sexuality is but I do not believe that anything one does "makes" them gay. I dance with women, enjoy smelling their perfume and sometimes even flirt but that does not mean I am straight.

So, I think you may be having this crisis of sexuality because we like everything to fit into nice neat little boxes and that's simply not how sexuality works. It's more like a wibbly wobbly sexuality thing than a black and white "you are this!" thing.

Having an interest in anal stimulation does not mean that you are gay or even bisexual. If you have an interest in anal stimulation done by a male, you may need to start evaluating what that means, and by interest I mean in more than a fantasy setting (given the chance you would actively pursue a sexual relationship with a male).

Ultimately sexuality is something deeply personal and no one but you can really make the call about it. If you want a label great, if you would rather just treat sexuality as a part of your self that just exists without need for extensive labeling, also cool.

But the type of stimulus you enjoy sexuality says nothing about your sexuality, same goes with what type of porn you enjoy.

I'm a great example for this, I'm a gay woman, have never been attracted to a man in my life and I don't see that changing anytime soon but that being said I enjoy both vaginal and anal penetration something that is mostly associated with straight women and their sexual habits. And to make things even more confusing, when it comes to my porn choices, I like everything as far as gender pairings, and I go through phases where I prefer one over the others, like right now I really enjoy male on male porn, even though I'm not sexuality attracted to the men, the actual sex act is what gets me off.

And I appear to have gone off on a bit of a tangent but I hope I was helpful.

For years I have had almost the same question to myself. What am I , sexually? I know I was interested in anal self stimulation, that's was a fact. Of course (?) I added the idea that I had to be gay of some sort, otherwise why my butt? So I start looking around in the gay community and see what happened. I was not directly attracted to guys in the same way I was to woman. Yes I dated a few guys and had some beginners gay sex, but it was not at all the same as enjoying anal play with my own self. Then again thinking of woman, in a sexual way, was more interesting. And I was married to a woman for many years, in the beginning had great hetero sex, so what am I really?

To keep a long story short, after a few years I finally came to the conclusion that I am not gay, not hetero, but as I call myself "independent". I am bisexual if you want to give it a name that society like to put up on us, simply because I do like to be around both genders.

However my love and devotion to my own self when it comes to anal play is totally separate from gay or straight sex. I have found the pleasure in anal stimulation, and this has absolutely nothing to do with your sexual direction. The pleasure I have when I am alone playing with my butt is not at all the same as if with a man, in my situation. Yes sex with a man is great to, just like with a woman, but no one has yet made me enjoy my "self' anal sex better. There is still a "taboo" in the world of man as they associate any kind of anal stimulation to be for gays only. Well it's time for man to wake up. NO better yet it's time for society to wake up and stop giving people these "labels".

I do not at all consider "self anal play" to be gay. Personally I watch straight XXX movies in the background when playing with my self. But most important I do not think of any person when I am anal aroused.

You are just fine, a real hetero man that enjoys his own body. Happy anal masturbation.

I have NO thoughts that I'm gay even though I am EXTREMELY anal erotic. Since age 6 I've enjoyed enemas, and they aroused me then, and my first ejaculation was during an enema. However, my fantasies are all about playing with women. Unfortunately, after trying, wifey finds she does not share my interests back there, so I'm solo. and SOLO is VERY GOOD! .Just because you get turned on by things anal does not imply you are gay! Sexual orientation is determined only by which gender you prefer to share your activities with. ENJOY whomever you want to be with!! I have for a LONG time, and have NEVER been with a man for any activity. ANAL EROTIC does NOT imply sexual orientation. They are different concepts entirely!

Just thought I’d drop this link here: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/oct/11/anal-sex-gay-people-straight

‘… exploring the most private of private parts with your tongue, or getting pleasure from it, isn’t necessarily a gay thing. It’s a human thing – if we let it be.’

First off, in my own opinion, because you are married and enjoy sex with your wife, I don't believe that puts you in the criteria everyone uses for assuming someone is gay. If one has to assume labels forced upon us by others, I guess I would be considered bi-curious. I am anal erotic, as I enjoy anal stimulation by enemas, butt plugs, dildos, etc. When having sex, I sometimes wonder how it feels to be on the receiving end, not having to control it myself, but putting control into the hands of another person and just enjoying the feeling. I have even wondered if the feeling is different between a dildo and a penis. Does this make me gay? no, of course not. This makes me a curious sort of person, and can even help one become more considerate to the needs of your partner. (more lube, slower, more gentle, more foreplay, etc.)

I believe, that in order to be considered gay, there must be an emotional or mental attachment to a same sex person, and not just a physical one. You are dwelling on the physical aspects here, and that just makes you curious (and that's normal) You are nor drawn to it, but prefer to enjoy the pleasures of your wife, so I don't think you need to worry about being gay.

I think many of the posts so far have been spot on. Interest / curious about what it would feel like to be penetrated by a real penis does not make you gay. I feel sexuality is on a spectrum: with hetero on one end of the pole and gay/lesbian is at the other end. Most will reside and stay firmly planted at either end of the spectrum their entire life while others will float between the poles at various times in their life. I think you are in one of these floating times where you are bisexually curious but far from moving to the far end of the spectrum of being completely gay.

Most importantly, you should not feel bad for having these feelings. Instead you should at least discuss and explore these desires with your wife. Strap-ons can be lots of fun and getting a lifelike dildo could do the trick to fulfill your curiosity.

You're gay if you have no romantic attractions to the opposite gender. Playing sexually for fun isn't an emotional attachment. Sexual activity doesn't determine gender identity.

I prefer women for emotional closeness but men tend to understand the male body better. I'll play with either but come home to a woman (except my cat who's my furry male lover boy).

I don't know if you are gay. I can tell you that I am very anal erotic and love when my partner uses her fingers, tongue, toys, enemas, and strap ons. Last year I had my prostate removed so the enjoyment has gone way down but I still enjoy it. I often wonder what a real cock feels like but just could never do it with another guy. There is absolutely no attraction. That said however after years of having a strap on in my backside it caused me to want to explore having a real cock to compare. Since I am so called straight I have tried for a few years to connect with a transgender. To me that would be the ultimate. A soft female body with boobs and a real cock. To date have not succeeded.

I wouldn't consider myself gay but I have had a few experiences with other men. This has come about from visiting Craigslist after not having any luck advertising on this site for play partners.

I have been naked in front of men, I've allowed another to undress and masturbate me and I've knelt on a bed and had a man finger my anus which quickly brought me to a climax and I've had a man take me in his mouth. I've also given a hand job a couple of times to one of them and was told it was the first time he had climaxed for a couple of years.

I can only say that once I'm naked and being touched the sex of the person I'm with doesn't seem that important I take some pleasure from the fact that somebody is enjoying seeing me naked even though they haven't ever also been naked except once.

What I would say is it's always been enjoyable getting naked for them and being brought to a climax but I've had no desire to have anything other than a finger penetrating me and have never felt any desire towards these men it's purely been a release of sexual feelings and is superior to self masturbation. The last time a man I'd met before, gradually stripped me naked then had me lay on my back on a table, he brought me to climax with a finger in my anus whilst he masturbated me with his other hand. I came so completely that I needed to just lie there and recover during which time he fetched a bowl of warm water and wash my genitals, around my anus and my stomach to remove the ejaculate then dried me with a towel.

I can't say I felt embarrassed being naked in front of him or having him see me climax and having him wash my most intimate areas but I had no desire to touch him and these encounters have always been a substitute for sex with a woman.

So have your fun if want to experiment, if you're gay your gay if not your not and never will be all these men were also married and only one ever suggest he would like to go further but wasn't offended when I said I wouldn't agree to allow him bugger me.

I think the fear of being labeled "gay" stems from a homophobic mindset that gets instilled any many of us from a very early age. Many of us grow up surrounded by homophobic peers who use any action or thought that can be associated with same sex attraction - as a means to put down, ridicule, or otherwise bully people who aren't on their homophobic band wagon.

Consequently we deny our urges to explore same sex possibilities for fear being seen as gay - not only by others, but by our own unresolved homophobic standards.

Lucky are the ones who are able to move past this and fulfill their desires with no remorse.

I think I have cleared that hurdle, but won't truly know until I've followed through with the act.

I think you should. I've been considering the same thing myself. I really enjoy anal stimulation and have fantasized about having a.penis sliding in and out of my backside while the man reaches around me and strokes me to orgasm. I've also always considered myself straight only but can't help but have that fantasy from time to time. My biggest problem is I have no idea how to find someone understanding enough to give me that experience even though I'm sure I'm not really gay.

I'm 60 and despite being raised in a fairly liberal household at a time when Kinsey and Masters & Johnson were still the hot topics of conversation, society still managed to instill in me the notion that if you enjoyed anal pleasure you were just plain gay. Now privately, this on and off again caused me some consternation since I was well aware I had some fascination with and enjoyment of that part of my body but I wasn't able to reconcile the fact that I'd never felt any attraction to or had any fantasies about guys, just women.

Finally, after having raised children to adulthood (raising other humans through the hell of growing up forces one to think about many things) and an increasingly understanding society and even medical profession, the incredibly simple answer came to me one day ... "what feels good has nothing to do with who you want to do it with".

If you fantasize your wife or girlfriend playing with your ass, pegging, stuffing, fisting you, whatever, then you're not gay.

If you fantasize doing these things with a strapping Adonis out of a gay porn film or playing with the Adonis yourself, well then, you might be gay.

... or you might also be bi.

It's a question of who's at the center of your desires, not what you want to do.

Radioactive, you have been here for 5 years and have written 6 posts. I just gave you a like for this post. While I didn't go in and read your other posts, if any of them are like this one then you need to pretty pretty please write more of them. This post was well written, exactly correct, easy to understand and just spot on. It is an example of a perfect post/response. Thank you for that. Your last question is the exact question anyone and everyone who has questions about their own sexuality should be asking themselves. Well done Sir, well done!

Mashie