Questions you should ask your playdoc before your appointment

I thought it might be helpful for people that are new patients for play exams to brainstorm about things they should ask a potential playdoctor before they meet. I'm thinking maybe questions about how the doctor conducts exams, what kind of experience they have, what their preferences are etc... If we could come up with a good list maybe it would be something we could make available in the library section or something like that.

Good idea patchcast. It would save time in the screeing process........ that is if everyone is truly honest.

I think this is a great topic patchcast and these questions and concerns should be part of an ongoing conversation with your potential playdoc. A playdoc's attitude and consistency in answering questions is a good way to judge his/her honesty and gain the trust necessary for a really wonderful meeting.

And don't be afraid to ask the same question(s) over and over again if you don't understand something or need some additional reassurance. One of the questions I asked- 'Did either you or your patient ever not go ahead with the exam after arriving for a meeting - or cut the exam short - and why?'

... If we could come up with a good list maybe it would be something we could make available in the library section or something like that.

The one difficulty patchcast, with your suggestion (which I would assume is a collaborative venture) is the assembly and management of such a list. I know there have been discussions about collaborating on a story and that has the same problem. A small team, two or three people, would need to put it all together and would perhaps put their own interpretations on the separate suggestions. There is also, with the list, a danger that an enquirer would ask all the questions - except the one most vital to him or her and a danger also that a playdoc would prepare a standard answer for each question which might not be particularly relevant to the particular enquirer. We are all, as playdoc and patients, so different one from another. Every patient is unique and every meeting needs individual care to set up.

In my practice, after we have chatted for a while and a meeting seems appropriate, I send by email several documents, one of which is a typical examination check list which invariably provokes questions. Those questions are clearly uniquely relevant to the specific enquirer. I send another which is a medical history questionnaire combined with a permissions slip and a note about the Safe Word. A third explains broadly the examination with a note of the arrangements for time and place etc. Thus there is little if anything in the way of information which is left out or can be misinterpreted. They all provoke those vital questions.

Good idea patchcast. It would save time in the screening process........ that is if everyone is truly honest.

I don't think omegaman that saving time in the screening process is a good thing at all. Saving time is not desirable in something so important - maximising the time spent is! Some people find it difficult to communicate and that MUST be overcome. Early in chat I insist that the prospective patient leads the discussion with a question or two. It's a two fold benefit in that I avoid embarrassing or offending the patient or leading her where she may not wish to go and it breaks down the communication barrier that many have.

Mima57 says 'don't be afraid to ask the same question(s) over and over again' [color=#000000]She says it in the context of a patient not fully understanding, but asking the same questions[/color] on a different day can help expose inconsistencies or lack of honesty in responses.

Nothing said above can ever override the most important thing to consider when arranging to meet and that is the issue of safety. With reassurance about safety comes confidence in the playdoc. With confidence and feeling safe comes the greater likelihood of a successful meeting.

Intending patients MUST seek references - and not of the kind that just about anyone can make up. Once you have finally decided a meeting is for you ask your intended playdoc to put you in touch with two or three people from his patients list - preferably people of good standing here on Zity.Biz and that you can read about. They won't of course comment on their own intimate experiences but they can hopefully confirm he's not a madman. If a playdoc says he has a big patient list but can't give you referees then maybe beware. There are around half a dozen additional measures you can take which you can read about in my blog - or ask me direct.

This might be amongst the biggest steps you take in your life. Don't make it the biggest mistake! Communicate!

You make some great points BigK. I guess the point I was trying to make is to get to know your playdoc and such. Maybe even just some ideas of issues that new patients might like to bring up would be helpful. And at the very least if this gets people thinking about taking some care with who they trust as a playdoc, that's something.

As play doc, I think it is def important to go over what the patient is OK with during the exam. While often patients don't want to spoil the "surprise", I think it is important that they know all procedures that could occur. I will never do a procedure on a patient unless it has been discussed before hand. I also agree that references are a fair thing to ask for. I am more than willing to give a prospective patient a person or two they can contact to assure them that I am a legitimate play doc.

I do really wish more play patients would go over with the play doc about what they are looking for in an exam to make a good experience for them. Play patients don't often do so with the play doc and so what the play doc does may often be what the play patient does not want. For some play patients, though, they are looking for total surprise. However, even if that is the case, it should still be stated before the exam...after all, the play doc is not a mind reader. Even basic guidelines can be most helpful for the play doc in designing a good exam.

Safety is first and foremost.

All potential procedures for the play exam need to be discussed between the play doc and the play patient. Anything the doc is contemplating needs to be discussed with and approved by the patient before the play date. However, that doesn't mean that the doc necessarily has to incorporate everything into that play session. For those wanting the surprise of what will happen next, the doc doesn't have to give you a script of what will occur, but you will have had the opportunity to give your input and insight into what might happen. And for the doc, they know better what your preferences are, what kind of patient they're dealing with, and any hard dos and don'ts for the exam.

Communication before play is vital!

I also think that communication is very important. I always talk with my patients before about the upcoming exam. It´s important for me to know what the patients like and don´t like. For example - some of my play patients really like rectal exams so they get a very thorough rectal exam too and for some it is a absolutely no go.

I have never used needles or catheters ... but for those who use it it is important to talk about these procedures and the risks!!

To echo BigK, safety is paramount. This aside, as there are threads dedicated to it, I think negotiations and clear communications are of equal importance.

Never assume anything and always explicitly ask any questions you may have - so there's no doubt from either party.

This is an important topic, not only for play exams, but for real-life medical situations as well. As a play doc, I always have extensive conversations with my patients before we ever agree to a session and again before we begin. I always ask "do you have any questions" several times, to make sure the patient is comfortable with what I will do.

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Most patients are afraid to challenge their real-life medical practitioner with questions and that's how mistakes occur. Ask, and ask again, if there is the slightest chance that you do not understand exactly what will be done to you.

I like to incorporate this in emails with my playdoc.... Things that have made me nervous but excited or things that did not work with my previous doc.... The there is a give and take response period until we are all comfortable. And anyone not willing to have this give and take raises red flags for me.

But I think, as a straight-ish male who likes to be examined by male authority figure, I think it is important to talk about embarrassment vs. humiliation or degradation, pain or no pain, safe word, sex or no sex (always no sex for me as that is not why I am there), areas or eroticism, areas of no interest (so we maximize the time together), and I try to work in what the doc wants to get out of it too so it is not too one sided.

It's very important to have those frank conversations with a potential play partner. After a few emails, I always like meet face to face to confirm my thoughts. Being up front with likes and dislikes for both, for me, is very important.

Some play docs have an extensive questionnaire that they ask be filled out prior to the exam that gives the patient and doc a starting point for the discussion about likes and dislikes. This is extremely helpful for those patients and/or docs just starting out or meeting for the first time. Everyone has a different expectation about what an exam should entail. Sometimes what a simple or basic exam entails is vastly different.

Again communicating is very important for both parties because neither will be happy if they have different expectations.

A couple things that I have found to be helpful:

1. Make it clear, whether you are the patient or the play doc, when you both expect exam gloves to be worn during the exam (some people expect the entire exam, some expect no gloves at all).

2. Make it clear what areas of the body, if any, are off limits.

3. If you are the patient, make it clear what samples you are comfortable providing, if any, and what collection method(s) you are comfortable with. The same goes for the play doc.

4. Be up front about whether either party expects video/pictures from the exam.

5. Be up front about whether you expect a more erotic or realistic exam.

6. Most of all, as everyone else has said, communicate. As a play doc, I make sure that my patients know exactly what will be done to them. This eliminates surprises, but it also protects both me and the patient.

Good communication with a potential play partner prior to any role play is essential for a successful outcome in my opinion.

I think the doctor shall send a document about the examin. The document will cantain all posible aspects in the area of examins, enemas and the patient need to reas the document and set som marks.

Then after there can be a dialog on mail or phone and the doctor can find out if the patient are able to go further then she/he have shown in the "play document.

This sounds almost as involved, maybe more so, than a real examination. I am curious about being a play doctor as I've been a real patient enough to know what that's like.

I think most play exams are more in depth than real exams, which is why it's important to have a good understanding of what both the play doctor and patient expect and want from the exam.