How hard is spanking too hard?

I would say if it breaks the skin it's too much. My husband doesn't play around when he spanks me and has been known to leave bruises and welts. That's just how it is. It's not really up to me to decide how much punishment I receive. All I have to do is accept. It's not like spanking a child. I'm an adult and obviously require a more severe spanking.

As a both little, and also a professional person, im VERY particular about this. No marks whatsoever. Pinky/red is awesome, but that's it.

Strawberry, I have a nice small, soft leather paddle with feathered edges. The business end is about 10" x 21/2" and is thick enough to carry a nice sting but not leave any permanent marks. I find that by using this paddle repeatedly on each cheek I can produce anything from a bright pink to a deep red. Stinging will continue for a day or two if I turn you red and you will remember the paddling for several days each time you sit down.

I prefer to hand spank a little so I know that I'm not going to leave a bruise, just continue to spank until my hand is uncomfortable and I know that I have done a good job.

I think a good spanking builds up over time....as intensity increases the tolerence of the spankee does as well. Having the trust to turn myself over is a gift and in reciprocation i expect the man to be in tune with my body, and vigilant about safety.

Leaving welts and bruises and drawing blood is the answer to the question.,

When the spanking becomes more for the benefit of the person doing the spanking than it is for the person being spanked.

I have given many, many spankings over the years. It is not necessary to spank an (adult) boy to more than a strong pink with the dreaded wooden bath brush.

Depends on the spankee. My Husband leaves welts and bruises on my bottom. It's how he spanks and HE is in charge not me. The only time he "breaks skin" is the tiny little abrasions that come with a switching or caning. He would never draw blood. After 26 years together he has learned how to employ spanking to make me behave. We are both men and older men at that. It doesn't matter. You're never too old.

I really enjoy being spanked & find it very arousing. However, as others have mentioned the spanking needs to start with less intensity & build as I slide into subspace. I have finally met someone that enjoys BDSM & anal play as much as I do, plus we really enjoy each other with our clothes on.

As the relationship is new, we are still learning about each other. My spankings last weekend were perfect, ending with a very sore behind that is still bruised a week later. He started with a flogger working up to his hand, then finally using a leather paddle. But, I am very fair & do bruise easily. I love seeing the marks he put on my ass. Too hard for me would be anything that breaks the skin & causes bleeding.

I prefer to spank the upturned, over my knee bare butt with my hand. I talk with the person I'm spanking before to see why they want or need to be spanked. I will try to meet their needs best I can but I'm not a cane fan so I never use that. A hair brush does a great job as does a belt or paddle. I've dealt with people who want a severe bare butt beating or just a hand to butt event. I can do whatever within reason. I'm not into tearing the hide.

Usually leaving bruises on the bottom of the person who just got spanked would be considered too hard. Then again about six years ago I got spanked that hard by someone (not related to me) and the sting felt wonderful afterwards. Although to be fair I did deserve the spanking (six very hard swats with a wooden frat paddle over jeans) but I had never wound up with a bruise on my bottom before. I wouldn't be opposed to light bruising after a hard spanking if I deserved it but most of the time a warm pink bottom does the trick.

I am very proud to wear bruises and welts... that said everyone is different too hard is something that needs to be discussed with the sub... If I am giving I might leave a welt but prefer to just to give a very red butt. I do not think blood should ever be drawn but again that is me. Communication with your sub is the most important thing.

This is a real "it depends" kind of answer. Sometimes a short, fast, don't worry about marks or bruises type of spanking is necessary....and desired. Other times, if there is going to be "extended play", a build up is good. I can tell you that with a build up, I can take a lot harder spanking because my head gets into the zone. By the time Mom is done, I can have welts, bruises and even a little skin breaking. Rarely is a hand spanking too hard. Add a brush or paddle and that can all change. Add a cane and there can be broken skin quite easily. Always use a safe word.

There is no single measure. How hard is to hard changes for each adult. The receiver will let you know if two hard hence invention of the safe word.

If new implement start light and work up. A spanker should try a few licks of it themselves to gauge how it feels and work from there.

My opinion is it's too hard if the spankee can't tolerate it. I went to a pro who wanted to 'give me my money's worth' even after I screamed the safe word. That was too hard. I watched spanking videos where the 'spankee' is bruised and bleeding from 100 strokes. Then he's the star in several others. Perhaps for him the beatings are not too hard.

That's a very subjective question. For me it can vary from session to session. Sometimes I yellow out fairly quickly, other times I wind up with a bruised bum.

In all things that I do my rule is, yes stress the person, push the envelope, pay attention.

But, most of all do no harm to their body.

Anything after the safe word is too much as far as I'm concerned.